


I can see it happening

by Mufffy



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Blind Character, Blind Ethan, Chica has a tag guys, Dogs, Gay, M/M, Repost?, Searla, crankiplier - Freeform, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-06-09 23:10:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 44,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15278259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mufffy/pseuds/Mufffy
Summary: Ethan never would've thought to have found love while walking a dog, huh?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I know I deleted this a while back, because.. I just really didn't like it. So many people hated it, so many people said it wasn't in character, a lot of people told me it wasn't good enough and a lot more said it was disgusting that I wrote about real people. Well. That's an opinion and at least I didn't make them have sex so it's going back up :)

Ethan stumbled lightly while walking. He always stumbled. All the time, whether his dog is with him or not. He was always reaching out a hand to make sure he didn’t run into a wall, which he’d quite a few times as a child. Luckily, his dog Saerla had saved him a lot in his life. Running into poles, walking across the road, even getting around his new apartment when he moved. Sure enough, the dog had to get used to it.

Kathryn had to help him move everything which failed since he couldn’t see and she wasn’t strong enough to move bigger furniture. She brought a friend to help, Tyler. It was Tyler, Ethan’s old friend from high school. Sure he was a little awkward about it, but when wasn’t he awkward? Not to mention... It’s not like he could see him.

He hated it when people underestimated him though. He may be blind but he wasn’t clueless. He knew it was Tyler purely by his grunts and whispers. He might not be able to see, but he learned. He knew where things were, he knew which clothes were which just by what they felt like or where they were in his closet. And every pair of jeans he wore were either black or too dark of a blue to notice so there was no need to fret over mix match colors.

He knew where each room was and where the dog leashes were. And as much as Ethan hated Kathryn babying him and helping him, he still did things alone. Like, go on walks and to the store very briefly. He’d walk around without Saerla and people would often notice, wondering what on earth he was doing. He looks scared all the time, his eyes usually wide and confused as he listened to the noises around him.  
He understood where things were though, still. If he heard a noise, he would move. If he heard people, he’d walk around them, if he ran into a wall, he’d feel around it and move the correct way.

That’s how he ended up taking the leash, getting his shoes and taking Saerla for a walk. It was a nice day, sunny and warm out. Ethan liked the feeling of the sun, and what Kathryn described from it, the outside was beautiful. The trees and grass. He liked imagining what they looked like. It was pretty strange...

But here he was. In the park, enjoying the sounds and heat from the sun. The little tug Saerla would give when he was slowing down or walking off the sidewalk. He eventually tugged back lightly, walking onto the grass for Saerla to walk around.

He smiled, listening to sound of children laughing and running around. He remembers when he was a kid and his parents showered him with affection and helped him get around the house. His dad always helping him up the stairs and his brother playing games that didn’t involve seeing. Ethan loved it. Actually missed it sometimes. That’s why he never let Kathryn help him. He wanted his family to help him but on that rare occasion. He did let Kathryn help him.

Another pull, ironically pulled him out of his thoughts. He laughed to himself, letting Saerla pull him around. He listened lazily to the swish of grass and the sound of sticks breaking. He listened closely to the sound of another dog barking. It was deep and sounded like a big dog. Ethan frowned, listening. It sounded a few good feet in front of him. At least thirty. Maybe? He didn’t know how long feet were. He shrugged.

He held onto the leash still, listening to the same dog barking rapidly. He squirmed uncomfortably in his skin. He heard someone calling... Chick? China? Cheek? Something. He thought it must’ve been the dog barking. He listened more, feeling his stomach drop when Saerla barked. He gripped the leash more, feeling her pull a little before he was tugged roughly. He had no choice but to let go unless he wanted to be knocked over. He still stumbled when he let go, feeling the fear whither inside his stomach.

“S...Saerla?” His voice was shy and weak. It was meant to come out louder than his small whisper. “Saerla?” A little louder, still no dog at his side. He heard dog barking coming from the left, moving to the right, getting louder and quiet. There was no real way to find where they were. There was no way to find his dog.

He took a deep breathe, snapping his fingers by his thigh before patting his leg. It was what he was taught to do when he needed the dog by his side. He swallowed, snapping again before patting his leg. He whined internally, his knees slowly bending. He noticed them bending more and more as time passed. At this point, he was crouched, shaking and ready to cry. He took a small breath, clapping his hands. He probably looked crazy. He laughed internally at that, too occupied to laugh for real.  
“Saerla!” He called out a little louder, clapping his hands in front of him. He waited, listening to the sound of a dog barking somewhat in front of him. He felt slight relief, clapping again. “Saerla” He bluntly said, reaching his hands out to him, slowly. He finally felt fur and a warm breath against his face. He smiled a little, feeling the dog’s sides before feeling the collar, looking for the leash. It wasn’t there. He swallowed, feeling the dog’s fur. It was soft and felt like silk where Saerla’s was a little rough and fluffier.

This wasn’t his dog but he was too scared to let go. He gripped it’s collar, feeling the dog tag. Of course it wasn’t braille, why would it be? He whined, snapping his fingers again, moving his head to listen, this time hearing something walk over. He gasped, leaning up a little “Saerla!” He reached out, feeling something. Stiff? And a denim feeling between his fingers. He blinked, moving his hand up a tiny bit before pulling it down, feeling up what he thought was a leg, gripping the fabric in his fingers.

“Um.. Are you okay?” The person above him asked. He opened his mouth slightly, holding the dog’s collar and the person’s leg. Their voice was absolutely gorgeous. Deep and thick, smooth. It was beautiful. Ethan hummed, looking up.

“Um.. D-do you know where Saerla is?” He mumbled, still holding the other dog’s collar and the stranger’s pant leg if his life depended on it. He cringed at how he said Saerla instead of his dog. God his face felt hot. What was the color Kathryn called it? Red? Or pink?

He heard a shuffling sound and felt the person’s leg bend. He shrunk back, trembling at how the new scene was set. He didn’t know where his dog was or where the person was.

“Is that your dog?” The voice was closer, much closer and sounded right in front of him. He flinched at when he spoke and rapidly nodded, letting go of the man’s leg to feel around. He heard a whistle and a little “c’mon” before he felt another hot breath in front of him. He instantly reached out, feeling the braille on the collar, instantly letting go of the other dog and hugging Saerla.

“Saerla!” He laughed, feeling the dog lick his cheeks “Oh- ew” he muttered, still laughing as she licked away at his face.

“Can you stand up? Are you okay?” He heard the person next to him ask calmly.

Ethan turned his head to look at where the man’s voice was coming from and reached out, feeling his arm. Bicep, up his shoulder, oh, that was a chin. He smiled, his fingers finding the person’s jawline and cheek. He had a light stubble and his face felt warm. He felt the man’s lips curl slightly not in a smile but more of a nervous line.

“You are my hero” Ethan laughed, smiling at the way the corner of the man’s mouth moved and he laughed. And Ethan had to admit it was the most angelic laugh he’d ever heard “Oh um- Yeah I uh.. Can kind of stand” He mumbled, feeling around for Saerla’s leash. He had to let go of the stranger’s face and could’ve sworn he felt a soft frown replace his smile. It did but... Ethan would never know. He gripped Saerla’s leash and reached for the man again, grazing his hair this time before finding his shoulder, slowly rising with the man.

“I’m really sorry about that uh..” The man mumbled, his arm in front of Ethan in case he fell. Ethan didn’t know.

“Oh-” Ethan smiled shyly, holding his hand out in front of him. “Ethan” He mumbled, unsure if he was even facing the right way.

He wasn’t, but the man moved silently to stand in front of him, gripping his hand “I’m Mark..” Mark shook their hands, slowly pulling away.

“Well. Thank you, Mark” Ethan smiled awkwardly. He never knew what his smile looked like, but Kathryn said he looked adorable

“Of course. So… Um..” Mark mumbled

Ethan heard it before and just dropped his smile “Yeah- I know, You’re sorry, It’s okay, How’d you go blind? I was born this way, How is it? Challenging, but It’s… life” Ethan muttered, a smile still on his face as he spoke. He looked at what he was thinking was Mark’s face (he stared at his chest) and sighed. “Thanks for helping” Ethan was shaking. He didn’t know why, but he just was. He felt slightly weak, ready to fall. He hummed, gripping the leash tightly.

“Hey- uh.. Sorry- Shit” Mark chuckled under his breath “Do you want to go home?”

Ethan opened his mouth before closing “..I don’t which way is which” He whispered, feeling slightly panicked. Fuck. he hadn’t thought this through. He took a breath, looking around to still see nothing but black. Dark. Black but... Warm. The sun was still shining and he was here. It was okay. It’s all okay “It’s all okay” he muttered unintentionally, obviously panicked

“Hey- hey, calm down. Deep breath, 5 seconds in, hold for 6” Ethan complied, unsure of how to feel about this “Out for 7” Ethan compiled and felt better already. He smiled a little at Mark’s neck instead of his face.

“Um.. I- Uh.. C-could you…” Ethan trailed off, feeling his throat dry up “..Uh”

“Oh, yeah, what’s your address?”

Ethan told him and Mark offered to take him home, getting Chica back on a leash. Ethan let Saerla lead as he walked before Mark would stop him and tell him it was the wrong way. Ethan eventually gave up and grabbed Mark’s arm, gripping the fabric between his fingers.

“So your dog’s name is Saerla?” He asked once Ethan noticed they were on a sidewalk

“Oh- Uh yeah... I can’t explain that one” He laughed “What’s yours?”

“Oh jeez um… Chica” He muttered. Ethan snickered a little before giggling. Mark’s arm stiffened a little and Ethan snorted once before covering his nose, the leash brushing against his cheek

“I’m sorry- I’m not laughing at you! It’s just.. It’s a cute name and it reminds me of a chicken..”

“Well she is yellow”

“...Mark”

“Hm?”

“I’m fucking blind”

“Oh my god” Mark whispered to himself, looking down “I am so sorry- I’ve never been around a blind person this long before-”

“No, no, it’s okay, it’s okay..” Ethan laughed “It’s just.. I don’t know what the color yellow looks like” He smiled down at his dog (more of the sidewalk) “And it’s not like you can imagine colors” He laughed

“Oh well.. Do you still have a favorite?”

That question caught Ethan off guard “Uh..” He thought about it, actually really hard. He had never been asked that before. He frowned. What was his favorite color? “Uh.. I don’t think I know a lot, just the main like purple, blue, orange, black, red, green, yellow, white, brown, I think grey is something my friend talked about? Um.. and then there’s supposed to be like.. Mixed? Colors?? Like green-yellow or.. Something” Ethan shrugged

“Yeah, So which color is your favorite? If you have one.. I mean-”

Ethan smiled at Mark’s rambling, saving him by cutting him off “I think the color blue sounds weird… so blue?” Ethan mumbled shyly. He didn’t know what it looked like, but it was his favorite to pronounce so it counted..right?

Mark smiled at him, looking at his smile before glancing at his shoes. He couldn’t help the small grin on his face seeing this boy in a blue shoe on his left and a yellow one on his right. He had to give him at least a little credit for having the same type of shoe.

“I never thought about that before” Mark smiled, thinking it was cute how he drew stars on his shoes. Ethan only learned from Kathryn and it was his favorite thing to draw even if he couldn’t see. Or hearts. He thought the heart inside your chest was shaped like that kind of heart. Kathryn didn’t have the heart to ever correct him.

“It’s different when you’re blind” Ethan mumbled, his fingers gripping Mark’s jacket tighter. Mark thought about that statement for a second. It must’ve been. Huh.

“So.. If you don’t mind me asking, how’d you go blind? I think you vaguely said something about being born that way”

“Oh, yeah- Um.. I was born blind. Do you know what Cortical Visual Impairment is?” Ethan took no time pronouncing the word. Having heard it and having to say it multiple times it stuck to in brain

“Uh.. I’m guessing it’s something to do with being blind”

“That it is, okay so it’s basically... C-V-I is a form of visual impairment that.. it’s basically caused by a brain problem rather than an eye problem, which is what they thought I had for about twelve years before my eyes kind of.. changed?” Ethan put it into simpler terms. It was the only way he could explain it without having someone be confused

“Oh… So.. Wait, what?” Mark noticed Ethan’s apartment coming, instead, he took a turn left to continue walking and talking with Ethan. He didn’t know what it was, but something told him to keep talking to him. It was weird.

“It’s kind of like.. Uh- A cataract, from genetics so huh” Ethan lightly laughed, his hand gripping Mark’s jacket tighter. He didn’t know where he was, but he didn’t want it to end. He found this. Nice. Normal. “And basically it could’ve been helped, but.. I was waaaaay too young”

“But what you’re saying is... there’s a way you can see again?” Mark quickly responded making Ethan slightly flinch by the sudden reaction

“Um... Well.. The thing is, yeah I.. Yeah, there is, but there’s a lot of complications with that and-” Ethan took a breathe to swallow. Mark wishes for that day, to see Ethan’s face light up when he saw the color blue. “Or I could need a surgery to see again, but it is treatable just.. A little too pricey” Ethan smiled, tilting his head a little. Mark wished he would lay his head on his shoulder.

“I see-”

Before Mark could correct himself, Ethan was already smirking “Well I’m glad one of us can..” He giggled, smiling

“..I’m not even mad” Mark admitted “I’m just happy you can still joke about it and be happy”

“Well.. I don’t exactly have a job, kind of.. But playing makes me happy!” Ethan’s face lit up. His nose wrinkling with his wide smile and his eyes squinting a little, his cheekbones pushing the creases of his eyes up.

“What do you play?” Mark saw Ethan’s apartment again and decided to finally go, carefully crossing the road

“Uh.. Ukulele- oh- and some piano! Oh- I can do a backflip, as strange as it is to see a blind kid doing a backflip, I was in gymnastics as a kid and eventually had to quit but.. It was fun” Ethan looked around, listening to the cars and people around. He had no idea where he was, but he was enjoying holding onto Mark

“You’re really talented than” Mark smiled at him, opening the door to the apartment building, helping Ethan through the doors. Mark noticed the secretary behind the desk, staring in awe at Ethan before smiling sweetly. Ethan must not’ve usually had people with him. Mark gave a little wave as Ethan stumbled a little up the tiny stairs by the doors

“Not really, I’m just another average human” Ethan laughed. Mark smiled sweetly at him before helping him into the elevator

“I think you’re talented..” Mark supplied “the fourth floor?”

“Fifth” Ethan corrected, listening to the small button click as Mark pressed the button “So what do you do for a living?”

Mark panicked. He hadn’t thought to tell him he worked as a gaming tester to check progress or glitches. It was kind of stupid and embarrassing for him. He panicked. “Uh- ..I play video.. gaaaaames” Mark paused, swearing he could’ve heard a giggle from the secretary before the door closed “Uh, enough about that” Mark coughed “I can play guitar.. That was random as all fuck” Mark laughed awkwardly

“Oh- I tried playing some.. I think I know a G chord, maybe D too.. But I have no idea how to play” Ethan laughed.

Mark smiled to himself. He knew Ethan was special. He couldn’t help but notice Ethan’s fingers still gripping his jacket. He hummed in contentment, watching Ethan’s head turn around. He raised his free hand, holding Saerla’s leash. His hand gliding across the wall before stopping on the railing, holding on as the elevator moved. He wobbled a little and Mark noticed his knees slightly bending.

“Don’t like elevators?” Mark stuck out his arm in front of Ethan to pull him closer. When Ethan leaned in, hugging Mark it only surprised him for a second before his face turned red

“Uh.. No, It’s something I never got used to and.. it’s kind of scary to just wonder inside a box and.. start moving” Ethan paused, feeling Saerla by his leg. He smiled, reaching to pet her. “I uh, usually take the stairs”

“Oh… You should’ve told me” Mark frowned, wrapping an arm around Ethan’s waist to keep him steady

“Yeah.. but then you’d have to walk with me and pause every time I took a step and- too much work” Ethan shook his head, scratching behind Saerla’s ear

Mark let the conversation die. He could feel the tension in Ethan’s sides as he talked. He instead, looked down at Saerla and Chica. Mark thought about what would happen when Chica was separated. He knew Chica got attached to other dogs easily. Mark knew he was the same way too, no wonder she’s just like him.

Ethan flinched when the elevator gave off a ding and the doors clunked open “Hey, It’s just the door” Mark reassured, keeping his arm around Ethan’s waist as they walked out. Mark holding Chica’s leash, Ethan holding his own with a hand in his pocket while Mark’s hand was still snaked around Ethan’s waist.

“Uh- it’s 224” Ethan looked around, feeling the walls and the small bumps under the door “220” he mumbled and Mark looked and smiled to see it was 220. Although he was never able to read in braille, it was still impressive that Ethan could. Even if it was his only choice. It was cute.

“Here it is” Ethan smiled at the door, pushing his sunglasses up before he felt for the doorknob, found it and unlocked the door. “Uh..” He stood in the doorway, staring down at the ground “Thank you. For helping me get home and all..” Ethan blushed a little.

Mark couldn’t help but feel just a slight bit proud of it. “Of course. Anytime” Mark laughed

“Hm.. I’ll take that challenge” Ethan smirked, gripping Saerla’s leash in his hands

“Don’t go out without someone else from now on, I’ll worry if you don’t”

“You wouldn’t know”

“Touche Ethan, Touche”

“I'd ask you for your phone number, but I'm fucking blind” Ethan chuckled, his blush growing slightly

Mark blinked, watching his face grow. He took a breath and noticed how tense Ethan’s shoulders had gotten “Okay” Mark mumbled

“What?”

“Give me your phone number, so I can make sure you don’t go out in public alone and we can hang out. I’m sure Chica would miss Saerla”

“Uh- Uh Sure!” Ethan laughed, reciting his phone number for Mark who instantly punched it in and texted him, the ding making Ethan jump a little. “That was you, right?”

“Yeah. Well, Ethan.. I’ll see you around” Mark smiled.

“And I’ll hear you around” Ethan smirked, the sunglasses making him look only slightly douchey.

“Fuck, I need to.. Stop doing that” Mark smiled lightly and looked down “So. I’ll text you, and- well, call.. Huh-”

“I’ll have Kathryn help me out” Ethan smiled shyly, letting Saerla off the leash to go inside “...Thanks again- For.. Helping me home..” Ethan laughed

“Honestly, I’m glad to help. And hey, I made a pretty cool friend.. So. I’ll see you soon, and you hear me soon. Bye Ethan”

Ethan nodded, still smiling “Bye Mark..” He pushed the door open, carefully closing it before leaning on it, huffing out a breathe “Oh my god” he mumbled, biting his nail.

Mark waited until the door was closed to pump his fist, whispering a quiet “Yes!” before doing a small dance. He sighed and smiled at the door before slowly walking back to the elevator, looking back just once more before the elevator door closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways, have chpater 2 and i was planning on uploading these on days ive been inactive but chances are theyre gonna be in like 3 days lmao

It had been two months that mark would pick up Ethan for their daily dog walk. Ethan had learned more about Mark, not to mention more about himself. He found out that he would mix his shoes up and his hair changed from the brown his parents described to him as a kid to a much richer hazel. Mark was never able to tell him what color his eyes were, the cataracts covered almost all of his eye and he refused to show anyone. Mark understood him being self-conscious as all hell, he has every right to be. Ethan even came out to him about bullies and called Mark while he was working on games when he was anxious about it.. Though it was rare, Ethan called sometimes. Mark would always make sure he told Ethan how adorable he really was on those days.

Ethan usually jumped when his phone vibrated, unusual to the feeling of it. He waited until Kathryn got home and hesitated with his phone in hand. In the few months they’d known each other and gone out on walks and a few times he took Ethan to a place to eat, he’d never deliberately told Kat who it was. He wasn’t conscious about Mark, he adored Mark and was happy to have him in his life now.

He heard the door open and went stiff, sitting on the couch just holding his phone. He didn’t have his glasses on, decided to keep them closed instead. “Kathryn?” He mumbled, listening for a response.

“In by the door, I’ll be there in a second” She replied, followed by the sound of the keys falling into the bowl. The sound of shoes hitting the floor. A jacket being taken off and hung up, the stand knocking on the floor from the uneven pegs it stands on. The light pitter patter of someone’s feet on the carpet, progressively walking by the table. “You need something?” She was hovering over him, standing in front of him.

Ethan opened his eyes, looking up where he presumed her head to be, more of the ceiling than anything. He smiled. “Um… You- You know Mark, right?” He fiddled with the edge of his phone case, listening to the light click as it smacked his phone. He grew used to the feeling of it under his nails as he pulled it.

“Oh, the man who comes and takes you on walks?” She sat down next to him, Ethan noticing the shifting of the couch to the left of him. “I like him, he’s really sweet”

“Oh- Yeah that’s him um… So I kind of gave him my number a few months ago and-”

“Oh! Is he the one that’s been texting you all the time!” She cut him off. He hated it when anyone did that, eventually got used to it but right now he was too excited to care.

“Yeah, him!” Ethan smiled, pulling the edge of his phone case again “And so... I was gonna ask you if you could read the texts he sent to me..?” His voice was particularly small this time. He usually was hopping and running to her, more of stumbling and trying to see while going to her, but he counted it as running.

She smirked a little and winked at him even though he couldn’t see it. She giggled a little and slowly reached for his phone “Sure!” She smiled, putting in his password, instantly going to his contacts “Ohh, three texts? Someone’s popular with the boys” She giggled

Ethan blushed a little “Hey- I haven’t told him about being bisexual yet! Don’t you dare tell him!” He begged, completely vulnerable. He knew Kathryn never would, but it’s hard to tell if someone’s lying when you can’t see them. Let alone trust them enough to believe them.

“Relax, relax” She mumbled, looking at the texts, smiling to herself “Aww, He’s such a sweetheart” She teased. He hummed, his head staring at the ground.

Mark 3:28 PM: Hey, I might not be able to make it at 5 like usual, but I was actually thinking of going out at night time if that’s okay with you

Mark 4:34 PM: I just got off work, you still up for tonight?

Mark 4:45 PM: I forget what time Kathryn gets off work

“He wants to take you on a date” She deadpanned. Ethan choked on his spit, turning it into a coughing fit “I was joking! I was joking!” She patted his back until he calmed down and stared somewhere around the room.

“That’s not something to joke about!” Ethan whined, not quite shouting. His voice was never particularly loud. He was too shy for yelling and actually didn’t like it. He hated being yelled at or being told to “Watch it” when he literally cannot watch. Just add in apologies and walk away quickly.

“Well it’s kind of a lie, but not really- He wants to take you out tonight” She smirked to herself, re-reading the messages “Here,” She cleared her throat “Three-twenty-eight, Hey, I might not be able to make it at 5 like usual, but I was actually thinking of going out at night time if that’s okay with you.”

“Oh my god he does” He whispered, bringing his knees up to his chest, hugging them to his chest “What does that mean? ‘Taking me out’ instead of going for a walk- he’s never said that before, Kathryn, you’re a girl- What does he mean?!”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Women know everything, or at least that’s what my dad always told me”

She bit back her laughter and took a breathe “Honestly, I think he actually is going to take you out on a date” She looked back at the phone, checking to see the texts with nothing new “...Maaaaaybe you should text him back” She mumbled.

“You’re right! Oh wait, what should I say? Should I ask about the date- No, Well… Is it a date?” He mumbled, freezing at the typing sounds from Kathrynn’s hand “Kat-”

“And send” A small ‘whoop’ came from her hands as she put his phone down

“..What did you say to him?” Ethan mumbled, shrinking his scrunching his shoulders up to his neck. Oh god. What if Mark thought he was some weirdo now? Or Kat stole his phone and typed it out for him.. Or stole his phone and typed what she wanted.

Ethan 4:57 PM: Ethan asks if it’s like a take-out walk or a take-out date, I also get off work at 4:30

“I just asked him if it was a date or a hangout kind of thing. Relax.” She put a hand on his shoulder, patting it “It’s not like he’s going to think any less of you” She smiled.

Ethan hummed, pondering that thought. Honestly. If Mark didn’t think less of him for being blind then why would he for thinking it was a date? It’s not there wasn’t a spark. Just a small bit. Ethan didn’t love Mark, love was too strong for just a few months. But Ethan would admit, If you asked him, or in this case if mark asked him… He’d say yes.

A small ding make Ethan’s head perk up “Ding!” He waved his hands around “Ding- Ding!” Kathryn laughed as she checked the phone again.

Mark 5:01 PM: It can be a date if you want it to be...

“Ohhhh- Ohmygod, Ethan oh my god” She whispered

“What’d he say?! What did he say- Oh no, Does he think I’m weird?! Oh, my god- Kat does he hate-”

“Shhhh, Ethan, It’s okay, it’s a good thing” She patted his cheek, clearing her throat, “Mark said; It can be a date if you want it to be” Kat stopped and looked at Ethan “That’s what he typed” She grinned.

Ethan grinned a little, his smile only growing “Wait so... Does he want to take me out? Or is he just telling me I can think of it that way- wait, ask him what he thinks”

Kathryn mentally rolled her eyes as she typed. She’d never sigh nor groan over something that Ethan was so excited or curious about. She never questioned him or made him upset about the things he loved. Her finger flashed across the screen as she hit send.

Ethan 5:05 PM: Do you want to take him out? Or are you just telling him he can figuratively see it that way? He mostly wants to know what you think of it; in other words.. Are the feelings mutual?

“I asked him if he wanted to take you out and how he saw tonight as, And I think it’s going to be mutual” She coaxed him, patting his shoulder, looking at the phone as it went off again.

Mark 5:07 PM: If Ethan is saying he likes me…. The feeling is mutual

“What’d he say-”

“The feeling is mutual!!” She nearly screamed, tapping his shoulder “Ethan he likes you!!!” She screeched this time, shaking his arm.

“No way- No, You’re lying- Are you, Does he? Oh my god, There’s no way in hell someone like him likes me!!” He squealed, leaning back on the couch, clutching his chest “Kat I think I’m dying..” He felt his heart racing, pounding against his chest

“Honey, that’s called being in love” She giggled.

“Oh my god, how do I reply to that?!” He sighed, whining a little in his hands “Should I text?! Like- How do I even respond? Like, Should I just- oh my god, I don’t even…” He shook his head, biting his nail lightly.

“...Do you wanna call him and plan it all out?” She smiled, taking his hand

“Yes, yes, yes-” He flexed his hand, ready for the phone “Oh wait- Should I ask if it’s okay to call him?” He clutched his fingers into a ball, staring at the ground. He always wondered what their carpet looked like

“Right” Kat mumbled, taking her hands away to text

Ethan 5:14 PM: Is it okay if Ethan calls you?

Mark 5:14 PM: I’ll call now

“Whoa, that was quick” Kat mumbled

“What was?” Ethan mumbled, his hand dropping to his side before jumping up with a phone ringing “He’s calling you!” She giggled, picking it up and planting it in his hand.

“What- Wait what do I- What?!” He whispered, looking panicked

“The call is picked up, talk to him”

Ethan took a sharp breathe, pulling his shaky hand up to his ear, finding the speaker. He waited a few seconds, scared to talk, pulling at the thread of the couch as he stared down blankly at what might’ve been his feet? Maybe the table.

“Say something” She whispered, nudging Ethan’s arm a little

“Oh- Uh... Hm” Ethan mumbled and stuttered, holding the phone still. What do you say to the person who just found out the feeling is mutual? “I like you? No that’s too obvious. Hey, uh, thanks for liking me back? No- No way” He sighed, unable to think of anything

“Um.. You’re welcome?” Mark’s voice cracked over the phone. Ethan found his face getting more and the color that Kathryn called red or pink. His chest beating rapidly, rising and falling hard and uneven.

“O-Oh my god” He whispered, his voice low and quiet “I am so sorry” He mumbled through his nails in his mouth

“No no, it’s okay… It’s mutual.”

Ethan could practically hear Mark’s smile through the phone. Ethan bit his lip, chewing it between his teeth. His bit hard to not scream, biting the whole lip to not even speak before realizing he needed to speak.

“Oh… yeah” He laughed nervously, his hand not holding the phone scratching the back of his neck. He listened to Kathryn stand up and listened to the kitchen door close and waited a few seconds. “So about tonight-” Ethan smiled, crossing his legs “Like, Is this a date date or a daaate date. I just wanna be clear so I don’t embarrass myself” Ethan mumbled, a little less nervous this time.

Mark laughed lightly “It’s a daaaaate, date Ethan. Like, I wanna take you out on a romantic date. And make memories... You know, sit in the park and stuff... What do you say?” He smiled through the phone, obviously just as nervous as Ethan was.

Ethan’s small and scared little heart’s first reaction was to scream no but… something stopped it. He thought about it. Going on an actual date. “It’d.. It’d been nearly five years since I’ve been on a real one- well... one that wasn’t a prank- I mean. Fuck.” He took a breath and smiled, noticing Mark’s breathing being held “Yes.” Mark’s exhale “I’d love to.”

Ethan could’ve sworn he heard a whispered “yes” followed by a cough as Mark came back to his phone. “Right. Cool. So is nine or ten a good time?” Mark fiddled with his phone case as he talked.

“Yeah” Ethan’s voice sounded even smaller over the phone “I’ll try and match my shoes this time” He snorted. Oh, how Mark loved that snort.

“Actually... Don’t. It’s cute when you don’t match them” Mark mumbled, a slight blush creeping up his neck. He heard Ethan’s small voice hitch. Another cute trait.

“Um.. Right so.. I’m just gonna wear normal clothes then?” He laughed nervously “Unless we’re going somewhere fancy, in which case I’m sorry but I have to decline that date offer-” Ethan snorted

“No. Simple walk in the park. At night. I promise nothing will happen okay?” Mark reassured, tapping the desk. He soon stopped, thinking it would interrupt Ethan’s thoughts. Mark was ready. And nervous. He was already dressed and ready, but just full-blown nervous. Scared of rejection? No, Ethan wouldn’t, He said yes to the date. But he might not want to stay…. Oh, that’s Mark’s biggest fear.

“Right” Ethan mumbles through “Um... Uh- See you tonight then? Around nine-ish then?” He asked to make sure.

“Right. Nine.” Mark smiled, his brain already hurting “See you tonight”

“Hear you tonight”

“Bye.”

“Byyyyyye!” Ethan giggled. Mark laughed a little before he hung up, laying his phone on his desk. Two and a half months and already falling for him. Mark sighed and stood up, pacing in the house, in few doors and out others. He groaned every now and then, pulling on his hair.

His roommate Tyler watched him pass from the kitchen window a few times before shaking his head at him “This boy got you that worked up?” Tyler mumbled.

“You just don’t get it” Mark walked into the kitchen, pacing around the table “He’s so.. Perfect- Like, I’ve never seen his eyes but they’re going to be the most beautiful things I’ve seen. And his personality is just, so childish and he’s creative and sensitive and it draws me in and it makes me want more... I don’t know what it is, but this isn’t your everyday crush. He’s like some… drug!”

"Sounds like someone's in love" Tyler mumbled, taking a sip of his tea. It was too late for coffee but too early for beer. Even though he didn't drink, he still liked the irony of it.

"Wha- No... There's no way, it's only been about three months. How am I in love with him? And his... Beautiful hazel hair, and his imperfect acne he hates so much, or how he whines and the small gasps he makes when he gets excited- wait... What was my point?" Mark mumbled, obviously embarrassed. He stopped walking and stared at Tyler "Right! I don't love Ethan. Right."

"...I don't know about that" Tyler smirked, watching Mark pace some more "Relax, I was joking! Please stop before you give me a headache or you walk circles into the floorboards" Tyler sighed, watching as Mark hesitated "Come on, let's go out somewhere. You’re tense” Tyler stated the facts, standing up “I mean it, you need something to take your mind off of this” Tyler smiled, nudging Mark towards the door.

“Well.. Wait, I could hang out with Eth, and then take him on the date later, that could work right?” Mark mumbled, “That way we’re less embarrassed about all of it!” Mark smiled widely, hoping he could stall for some time “I’m just worried it won’t go well” Mark mumbled taking out his phone

Mark 5:38 PM: Is it cool if we hang out now? So I won’t be so awkward later tonight. If it’s cool with you, I know you might want to wait

Ethan 5:39 PM: Ethan went to sleep. He usually goes to sleep at around two or three AM. He was afraid he’d get tired and fall asleep with you and wake up somewhere he’s unfamiliar with

Mark 5:41 PM: This actually works in my favor because Kathryn I am so scared

Ethan 5:42 PM: I can tell, so is Ethan but… If things go bad. Please don’t hurt him. If you end up hurting him or even so much as make him sad. I will personally find you and chew you out.

Mark 5:45 PM: I swear I’d never purposely hurt him… Besides, my friend think I’m in love

Ethan 5:46 PM: Might as well be ;)

Mark 5:48 PM: Fuck

Ethan 5:50 PM: Think of it like this, He’s sleeping adorably and not anxious right now

Mark 5:51 PM: ….Hey Kathryn

Ethan 5:52 PM: Photo on 02-01-18 at 5.51 PM sent

Mark 5:52 PM: Thank you.  
Mark 5:52 PM: His hair is a mess omg

Ethan 5:54 PM: I won’t make him brush him. I’ll say it’s fine for you

Mark 5:55 PM: Kat, You are a saint

Ethan woke up to the shaking of his shoulder. He had his eyes closed still, the black over his eyes before opening them seeing the usual foggy white, blocking his vision. He sighed at the sight he always has to look at. Every morning. Every time he closed his eyes. He rubbed his eye and sat up to hear Kathryn’s giggling.

“What?” He mumbled, rubbing his other eye.

“It’s eight forty and I wanted to get you up, silly” Kathryn smiled, helping him to sit up properly. She had to stifle a laugh at his mess of a bed head. She stood up, taking Ethan’s hand to pull him up “I figure you might want some time to prepare for your daaaaate” She teased noticing Ethan’s face suddenly flash awake.

“Oh jeez” He mumbled, taking Katryn’s hand. He let her lead him into the bedroom “Oh god... What if when he sees me he doesn’t like it? What if he realizes that I’m not worth it and being with me is too much of a trouble? How could I live with that Kathryn?” He whined, finding his seat on his bed. He frowned, running his hands through his bed head “I probably look tired- What if I make a mistake?” Ethan groaned, leaning back on the bed.

Kathryn sighed, pulling shirts out of the closet “He won’t Ethan. I’m fairly certain of it” She smiled, pulling the purple shirt away before putting it back. “You don’t look good in purple”

“What even is purple?” He whispered, half frustrated still and half joking.

Kathryn only laughed, pulling out a blue polo before putting it at the end of the closet. Not a good look. “It’s a color, it’s like lavender I guess” She shrugged “Oh wait- Uh, Never mind” She mumbled, taking a long red sleeved shirt out before humming at it.

“Well I’m glad you’re enjoying helping me because I’m so nervous” He mumbled, chewing on his nail “What if he doesn’t like me? What if it’s just some crush that lasts like a day… Those have happened- well not to me, but I’ve known of them…” he mumbled, biting his nail before he yelped in pain, rubbing his finger.

Kathryn hummed, pulling out his black shirt with red stitches at the top “It’s a day crush then why has he been walking with you for nearly three months?” She smiled, putting the shirt down and got on the floor to pull out Ethan’s box of band-aids. She pulled one out and stood up, opening it “You really are scared aren’t you?” She whispered, putting the band-aid on his bleeding finger.

Ethan rubbed his finger, feeling the small woven fabric around his finger. Now he picked at it, trying to pull the threading around the edge loss. “It’s not just a crush anymore Kat… We could be more- Or I could mess it up and he’ll hate me forever!” Ethan whined, rolling on his stomach, facing the wall “What if we starting doing things?”

“What kind of things?” Kathryn only half paid attention as she picked a pair of black skinny jeans and found his shoes. She hummed, thinking about the red shoes. She noticed the stars and smiled at how some overlapped and were uneven. She looked at the red shoes again before picking one of them up and picked up a yellow one to not match it.

“Like- He might want to do things, Kat! Things- Dirty things!” He whisper screamed, sitting up on the bed “What if he tries things?!” He whispered, staring in front of him. “What if I fall asleep and don’t know where I am?” He mumbled.

Kathryn laid the clothes on the bed, slowly taking Ethan’s face in her hands “Honey. He likes you, He won’t do anything. If he does, we’ll fix it. I promise. So don’t worry, okay?” She smiled, brushing his hair out of his face to kiss his forehead.

“...Right” He smiled. Right. He just had to listen to Kathryn and stay positive. He took a breath and smiled wider “Um... S-so what am I wearing?” He giggled a little, crossing his legs. “Please pick out shoes that match- Mark doesn’t like it when I mix them up”

Kathryn smirked to herself “I got you your red pair, and they match” She raised her fingers, crossing them “I’m telling the truth”

“Thanks” Ethan whispered, feeling around the bed until he felt the shirt, picking it up “The black one?” Ethan smiled.

“I imagined Mark would like it. You look good in it… I’ll leave you alone to get dressed, but feel for the tags okay?” Kathryn laughed, patting his shoulder before walking out the door and closing it “Call me when you’re done!”

Ethan smiled and slowly got dressed thinking about the night. It was nearly nine now which meant Mark might want to show up early. Oh geez. Ethan sighed, finding the tag on his shirt to put it on before feeling around for his shoes eventually getting them. Left one. Right one. He tied the laces just like Kathryn had described to him, single knot, loop, wrap around, poke through the hole, pull to the end, repeat, and you have a butterfly.

He smiled to himself, feeling his left red shoe with white stars and his right yellow shoe with black stars. He liked them. Matching, anyways. He fiddled with the other shoelace before tightening it and hopped off the bed “Kathryn?” He called out, not yelling but not being too quiet. He heard footsteps and a door open.

“Oh thank god you didn’t have troubles” She smiled, coming over to pat his hair down. She giggled at the way it stuck up on the side and decided to ignore it, taking his hands instead to make him stand.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he murmured, following her out the door and back to the living room “I can dress myself” He huffed.

“Just yesterday, you got your head stuck in your shirt”

“I said I could dress myself. Not well, but I can do it”

Ethan froze a little once he heard a laugh from behind the door. Kathryn squeezed his hands a little before whispering “I think that’s Mark” She smiled, nudging him “You ready?” Ethan shook his head a little, frowning “Oh come on… It’s just Mark. You two will be just fine and this date is going to be perfect, okay? Now go on and get out there” She slightest pushed him, leading him to the door to open it.

And there stood mark in his favorite flannel with a jacket and regular jeans. His hair and face the same it always was. He wasn’t going all out. Casual. He looked up at Kathryn then at Ethan, his eyes widening. He opened his mouth slightly before closing his mouth. He smiled, offering his hand, Kathryn moving Ethan’s hand to Mark’s, watching Ethan jump lightly at his touch.

“Are you ready?” Mark whispered.

Ethan squeezed Mark’s hand and smiled “As I’ll ever be”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> still working on the moving simkus fic i promise im just getting bored in the middle but trying edjhtjdfnsyrxe

Mark squeezed Ethan’s hand back a little before stepping back a little, letting Ethan move at his own pace. “Bye Kathryn” Ethan waved to the wall, a small smile across Mark’s face. “I’ll see you around.. Whenever I get back” He raised his free hand to hold his opposite arm, trying to comfort himself.

“Or I’ll text you on his phone so you get a heads up” Mark suggested instead, smiling at Ethan anyways. He lightly squeezed Ethan’s hand again just for reassurance.

“Or that” Ethan laughed, feeling his way to Mark’s arm, wrapping his other arm around Mark’s to be closer to him.

“I got it! Now go, Have fun” She shooed them, waving before closing the door.

Ethan stood still before lighting kicking his foot “Wow, that was quick” He mumbled, playing with Mark’s sleeve as he nervously laughed. He could feel Mark’s gaze and his face growing warm “S-So where are we going again?”

“Oh” Mark slowly starting walking for Ethan and continued “I was thinking the park tonight, It’s pretty dark, and the sounds at night are pretty cool like the crickets and the smell of dew. Don’t you think?”

“Oh..” Ethan slightly panicked, letting go of Mark’s hand to grab his arm with both hands “I was never allowed outside at night, my mom thought it was too dangerous and I could get hurt” Ethan mumbled, playing with Mark's shirt as they walked through the elevator doors.

“Oh.. Well I’ll be there with you” Mark smiled, pressing the lobby button “And I won’t let you wander too far. I’ll keep you close bud”

Ethan smiled, gripping his arm tighter as they walked out of the elevator. Mark walked him out, helping him through the door only glancing once back at the secretary behind the desk, smiling brightly at the two.

“Well, sure I’ll love it then” Ethan beamed. Mark loved it when he did that. Being happy and always taking pride in his blindness. Never showing that he hated it, he hasn’t even said he hates it, but Mark doubted that he liked it. Ethan wanted to see colors and the world so he must’ve wanted to see. “What are you thinking about?” Ethan pulled on Mark’s shirt as they stepped into the cold outside “I can hear you thinking” He laughed.

“Just.. thinking” Mark mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets “A lot of stuff, but uh… I guess I don’t know what to talk about- or uh… even say. I didn’t get this far in thinking” He mumbled shyly. He noticed Ethan’s small laugh and couldn’t help but smile.

“Ummm. What’s a good date question?” Ethan hummed to himself. Lightly tapping his fingers on Mark’s arm before gasping “You never told me your favorite color!” Ethan beamed, proud of his work. He nudged Mark a little, looking around to hear things “Well… I’d kinda like to hear your voice. It’s scary when things are quiet” Ethan admitted. 

That was a given. He always hated the quiet. Nothing making a sound. It made him feel even more lost and upset when things were quiet. So he went to sleep with music or the tv most nights. As long as he was able to hear something he could be just the slightest bit aware. Just a small upper hand in the world of darkness. Or light, seeing as he only sees white.

“Hm,” Mark hummed a little, smiling, “I think it’s got to be red… or orange, but I like red” Mark watched Ethan’s expression as he smiled. His lips curling under his sunglasses. Mark never noticed it until now, but Ethan has never taken off his glasses. Mark hummed contently, walking into the park.

“..What’s the color red look like?” Ethan suddenly asked, looking ahead of him. Mark knew he was trying to figure out where they were, so he looked around as well, trying to find a place to sit in the grass.

“Well... Uh” Mark laughed, thinking about it “It’s.. bright, and vibrant. But it can also be dark but it’s… It’s the color your face gets when you get nervous. It’s the warm feeling of getting under a warm blanket and curling up. It’s…. It’s hot- It’s the color of passion and love, and also hatred but.. Love. It’s fire and when your skin gets burned by the skin. That’s red.” Mark smiled, stopping to take Ethan slowly into the grass, looking around the ground for a place to lay.

“Oh… What other colors are there?” Ethan slid his hands down to hold Mark’s hand allowing Mark to pull him to the ground. “I want to know them all” He grinned, sitting on one of his knees, the other tucked into his side.

Mark smiled, holding Ethan’s hand before slowly pulling it away “Um… There’s orange- It’s bright too, but not as hot I guess” Mark thought “It’s.. warm, and security, sometimes frustration. It’s annoying but it’s a nice color” Mark shrugged.

Ethan nodded, leaning back to lay in the grass, his hands at his sides as he looked up as if he could see the stars. He frowned before reaching a hand around for Mark’s, Mark reaching over to take his hand. Ethan smiled and pulled at his arm. Mark sighed and laid back, letting go of his hand, folding them over his stomach.

“What’s after orange..?” he whispered, closing his eyes.

“Yellow” Mark replied, thinking about it “It’s… the happy color. The jumpy and friendliness, cheerfulness, optimism, confidence in someone. Always happy, and warm. It’s like that day at the beach- and the sound of sand being blown by the wind” Mark looked over at Ethan, trying to read his expression.

“I’ve been to the beach…. I got sand in my shorts and it fucking sucked” He mumbled, Mark stifling a laughter. “Don’t laugh, I hate sand!” He laughed. “...What comes after yellow?”

“Green. Imagine. A tree. It’s the leaves, and the grass, and the smell of freshly mowed grass. It’s nice, but it makes you sick. Green is that sickening sweet kind of smell. Bitter and gross, but addicting... And it’s like being in the woods. Rain lightly falling and dew on the grass shining. And greed and jealousy and... It’s nasty really” Mark smiled back up at the sky.

“Do you like green?” Ethan mumbled.

“Eh... It’s okay, but I like red better still” Mark smiled, glancing at Ethan before thinking about green “There’s purple”

“Kathryn says I don’t look good in purple”

“Listen to her, You don’t” 

“But-”

“Purple is like red and blue together, it’s dark but... But sometimes light. Every color is, really. It’s like mysterious and.. Weird. It’s spiritual and nice. Calm and collected. If it were a smell, it would smell like burning wood that's floating on top of the ocean. It’s soft... And hard to describe.” Ethan laughed at his last comment.

“Isn’t there pink?”

“How could I forget” Mark smiled “It’s a lighter red. Like love- but not as deep. Like a crush. And it’s light and soft and... Also hard to describe, kind of like cotton. Candy. Bubblegum and Lollipops” 

“I like bubble gum” Ethan mumbled randomly

“I do too” Mark mumbled after a while

“What about white?”

“You”

“What?”

Mark laughed “Innocence, dandelion fluff, white noise. Quiet. Like a baby’s laugh, It’s so pure and untouched and innocent.. You wanna protect it and keep other colors away from it.” Mark snuck a glance at Ethan, still staring up at the sky with his eyes closed.

“..Are you calling me innocent?”

“Exactly” Mark smirked a little.

“Oh fuck you” Ethan laughed, feeling for Mark’s arm before lightly hitting him. Mark laughed a little too, pushing his hand away. “Okay… What’s the color blue like?”

“Blue?” Mark blinked, looking up at the sky “It’s… like the ocean. And when you’re standing by the shore with your jeans rolled up and the waves hitting your legs, just barely getting the rim of your jeans wet. It’s the salty smell of the water and the waves crashing together- and the small breeze coming up on your face... It’s light. And cool” Mark smiled.

“...That color sounds amazing”

Mark looked over at him and smiled a little “Wait- Didn’t you forget one?”

“Not… that I know of” Ethan mumbled “Which one did I forget? It’s not like there’s an order”

“Well there is-”

“There’s a color order?!” Ethan gasped, looking over at where Mark was.

“Yeah? There’s also black” Mark laughed.

“Oh…” Ethan mumbled, looking back up “Can you... Tell me about black then?”

Mark smiled. “It's midnight. In the dark alley of a party and the bass shaking you to the core, and the smell of cologne and when you’re laying in the grass at night…” Another glance “And look up and the sky is black. and stars are shining everywhere and... It’s a really interesting color- because it’s like space. And space is so beautiful and I’d love to show you it. Like staring up and just seeing the tops of trees and the stars shining more and more and sometimes they move and make shapes. Sometimes they shoot across the sky and space aw... I love space. It’s like my favorite thing” He laughed, about to talk before he froze, listening to Ethan sniffle and watch his hands reaching up to wipe his eyes. Mark instantly sat up “Hey- What’s wrong?” He leaned closer to Ethan, putting a hand on Ethan’s, letting Ethan pull himself up.

“It’s just... Y-You really like space, and you want to show it to me- but you can’t… And I wish I could see the stars and how happy you are about them- and- and I really want to see them..” He mumbled, tears falling from behind his sunglasses.

“No- No no, Ethan… It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault at all” He whispered, hugging Ethan. He felt his muscles grow tense for a second before he felt around to hug Mark back “I promise you it’s okay... I’m sorry you can’t see them bud” he mumbled, rubbing Ethan’s back.

“I’m sorry I cried on our first date” He laughed a little at that, reaching up to rub his eye before Mark pulled away.

“You’re having fun though, right?” Mark smiled.

“...Yeah” He smiled, rubbing his eye more.

“Here- um” Mark reached up, slowly taking Ethan’s sunglasses in his hands “Can I..?” Ethan’s hands came up to stop Mark’s arms before slowly lowering them. Ethan leaned back, Mark pulling the glasses off his face. Ethan opened his eyes, the white fog covering everything.

Mark felt slightly bad for staring before he reached to hold Ethan’s cheek in his palm, brushing away the tears. “...Your eyes are beautiful” he whispered, watching Ethan’s eyes search their way up to Mark’s face. His face was unreadable and shaky. His whole body was shaking. Mark’s hand was shaking from Ethan’s shaking. He noticed Ethan’s eyes becoming even more glossy and his face growing red as if he were trying to hold back from crying. “It’s okay to cry” In an instant, Ethan was crying into Mark’s chest again, his body wracking and his throat growing sore from trying to breathe.

Why did Mark have to be so nice? He had to love Ethan’s eyes. Of course, he did. His glassed over and foggy eyes. The eyes he was cursed to try and see with. The white marbles that god ‘blessed’ him with. How lucky he was to be blind. Unable to see Mark, colors, the world. He might’ve been blind, but he knew what life was like. He knew how cruel the world was so why the hell should he be shielded? He wasn’t some innocent child, unaware of the effects of life.

Ethan sighed one last time, pulling away from Mark “I’m sorry” he mumbled, feeling Mark’s chest before slowly moving his way down his arms and to his hands, finding his glasses, sliding them back on.

“It’s alright… I couldn’t imagine how much you hate life sometimes” Mark mumbled, taking Ethan’s glasses back.

Ethan smiled at that and kept his eyes open now, slowly and randomly reaching out for his glasses “It’s not that I hate life… Just that I hate not seeing. I hate that it has to be me, but on the other hand, If not me, then someone else.. And it could be worse- I could’ve been born with something that could’ve killed me days after I was born so I’m happy with what I have” Ethan smiled, feeling around the air more.

“I guess you do have a point there- Well, for the record-” Mark moved his glasses around so Ethan couldn’t find them, eventually putting them around his neck, smiling to himself “I’m glad you didn’t die when you were born”

“Aw, thanks- I am too!” He snorted, sitting on his knees, feeling Mark’s shoulders before finding his hands, getting confused when he didn’t feel his glasses. He frowned, feeling Mark’s face before finding them around his neck “You dick” he muttered, taking them back.

“You know it” Mark smirked before taking them again, putting them back on his shirt “But really- I wanna look at your eyes” Mark took out his phone, smiling as he opened the camera and took a picture of Ethan. His head sideways and red, eyes puffy from crying. Mark found it adorable still.

“...Are you done yet?” He mumbled, smiling a little as his eyes looked around Mark’s form, probably trying to find his body.

Mark smiled and leaned forward, their foreheads slowly pressing together “Not yet” He whispered, his breath extremely close to Ethan’s. Ethan instantly noticed the smell of coffee and something like caramel. He didn’t know Mark drank coffee. Now he found the scent almost addicting. Not coffee. The smell of Mark coffee. His cologne and smell of caramel. He swallowed, Mark’s lips just barely brushing against his before he pulled back. Ethan made a distressed noise, gripping Mark’s shirt in one of his hands, the other pulling at grass.

“Hm?” Mark smiled, tilting his head “...Your face is really red” Mark teased. Ethan’s face was warm. A bright… red. He swallowed and pulled away from Mark, blinking rapidly thinking maybe it would cool his face down just in the slightest.

Ethan opened his mouth before closing it again, gripping Mark's shirt tightly in his hands. He smiled a little, laying down, dragging Mark down with him "I don't even know what red looks like!" He smiled, leaning up to kiss Mark's nose. It wasn't a proper kiss, but it was the first kiss Ethan had given him. Mark's face was now redder than Ethan's was before. "Your face is warm, Mark" He whispered, smiling to himself.

Mark smirked and rolled over, Ethan now on his chest, giggling like an idiot. "I think your face is warmer than mine, Ethan" Mark laughed. Ethan shook his head, pulling Mark over, Mark flipping them right back over until the two were rolling around in the grass, giggling and screaming like idiots. It ended with Ethan on the bottom and an unexpected short peck on the lips. Mark, blinking in disbelief for a few seconds before slowly leaning down again, their lips just barely brushing again.

“I..” Ethan blinked a little before pushing Mark away, remembering the caramel smell “Shit- Wait, Did you have any trace of peanut butter in your coffee or ate any at all today?”

Mark blinked and frowned a little “No, Why? Do you not like peanut butter?” He laughed.

“No Mark, I’m allergic” He sighed, relaxing a little into Mark’s arm. He sat up, fixing his hair and found Mark's chest, leaning into him. His head resting on Mark’s shoulder. Mark smiled, tugging him a little closer to tilt his head back.

Ethan tilted his head back a little, his face in Mark’s neck “..Mark?” he whispered. Mark would’ve been lying if he said it that just gave him chills. “Will you tell me what the sky looks like?” He whispered, lighter this time.

“...It’s black, covered in thousands of white stars. Pure, bright lights in the void..” Mark mumbled back.

Ethan hummed, tilting his head down. His eyelashes tickled Mark’s neck every time he blinked. Ethan’s head moved again, looking up with Mark.

“Is it pretty?”

“It’s beautiful” 

“...If you can’t say something nice, say it in French” Ethan randomly mumbled.

Mark, of course, broke out into laughter and stared at Ethan “W-what?” He laughed, holding onto Ethan’s shoulder.

“I don’t know!! It was quiet and the quiet scares me so I said something random! I do it a lot okay?!” Ethan flapped his hands around, looking scared and distressed.

“No- It’s okay it’s just... It was funny” Mark smiled, taking his arm away from Ethan’s shoulder. So they sat in silence now. Ethan hugging his knees and staring at the ground with Mark leaning back on his hands next to him. Ethan nodded his head around a little before feeling Mark’s arm next to him and looked in his area.

“..I’d love to see you cheer up” He mumbled, looking down.

Mark stared at him, slightly confused. He didn’t get it. He was happy right now. He was having a good time. “What do you mean?”

“You’re tense” He was. “You’re upset about me crying” He was. “And you’re upset about me not being able to see” He mumbled, looking down, slowly taking his hand away. Mark stared at him in udder shock before he cleared his throat.

“How..” Mark stopped himself.

Ethan sighed “I’m not blind, I’m- ...okay I am blind, but I know when people feel upset. They release this strange wave” Ethan muttered.

“...I just think it’s unfair that you have to suffer..” Mark mumbled.

Ethan smiled and looked up near Mark “Well, I could be dead” He laughed, leaning back into the grass. “But I’m here..”

Mark smiled, watching him before laying down in the grass with him. “I’m glad you’re here”

Ethan laughed a little “I am too…” He whispered, “Can you explain to me the colors again?” He tilted his head back, looking up at the stars.

“..Yeah” Mark looked up.

And the next time Ethan’s hand reached out for Mark’s. He didn’t even have to look to intertwine their fingers on the cool grass. Mark looking up at the stars with Ethan's hand in his. 

"Which color first?"

"Blue."


	4. Chapter 4

It was six months after Ethan had kissed Mark and nine months since they’ve met. It was nearing the end of November which meant cold chilly weather. Ethan never liked the cold weather. He didn’t know what snow looked like and never understood why he had to keep warm. Why couldn’t it just not snow and stay Autumn for the next three months?

He whined a little, pulling the blankets further up around him as he listened to the tv. He forgot what the show was called, but it’s not like he could look it up. So he waited and listened to people talking and the strange fake laughter in the back round.

He hummed a little, annoyed with the show already. He would have to deal though, it’s not like he could change it even if he tried. He found himself dozing off in sleep a few minutes later as his phone went off. A certain ringtone told him it was Mark. He hummed, picking up his phone and trying to think of where the call button was. He panicked momentarily before remembering and picked it up.

He held it to his ear, his voice quiet and soft “Hello?” He mumbled, yawning lightly.

“Ethan? Hey, Did you just wake up?” Mark talked softer just for Ethan. Ethan felt like a small child being spoiled by a literal angel.

“No” Ethan whispered, his voice extremely light “I was just about to though because I felt like falling asleep but then you called so…” He yawned again, deciding to lay down with his blanket “I’m here now”

“Oh,” Mark mumbled through the phone. It wasn’t shock or anger or anything. It was just a mumble “I’m sorry, Do you want me to call you back?” Mark’s voice was like an angelic angel singing as soft as they could and Ethan couldn’t get enough of that. 

Ethan yawned again, this time putting the phone on speaker and laying down. “No, it’s alright. It’s like four in the afternoon anyway, I’m just cozy in the blankets” Ethan laughed, adjusting his blankets again to lay down, closing his eyes to be enclosed by darkness. He wondered if this was one of the colors Mark was describing. “Hey, Mark..” Ethan mumbled.

Mark’s heart melted on the other line as he whispered back “Yeah Eth?”

“When I close my eyes.. What color do I see?”

Mark froze for a second thinking about it. He forgot Ethan could only see the fog of his cataract, expect when he closed his eyes. “When you close your eyes? That’s black”

Ethan smiled to his tired self “I can see the color black…” He whispered sleepily. It didn’t click in his brain just yet. Mark must’ve got it though, with the big dopey smile he had on the other line. Sitting in the office of his game testing studio, on the phone with some boy who’s close to falling asleep. “What color are the cataracts?” Ethan mumbled after a few seconds.

Mark smiled sadly at his wall as he talked “Those are white. So you can see two colors” Mark held the phone to his ear as he looked around the office. He slowly and quietly got up, closing his office door before walking back to his chair, carefully sitting down.

Mark didn’t say anything for a while, slightly confused by the silence “Ethan?” He whispered, making sure not to be too loud in case he woke him. He didn’t hear anything for a few long seconds before he heard a muffled yawn.

“I’m awake” Ethan eventually replied, yawning louder this time. Mark didn’t know how long he had been awake, but he knew he should be heading to sleep soon.

“Hey Ethan, Mind if I facetime you? It’ll pop up in the right corner so you just click it or get Kathryn to help you” Mark looked back at his door, making sure no one was coming in or near his door.

“Kathryn’s not here” He mumbled “Just call anyways and I’ll pick it up” Ethan rubbed his eye, waiting for a few seconds before hearing the ringing and clicked what he was hoping was the call button “You there?” Ethan yawned, propping his phone on the armchair of the couch.

“Yeah, and I can see you” Mark smiled at the picture in front of him. Ethan snuggled in multiple blankets and a giant pillow his head was on. Mark had to admit he was cute. Especially right now. “You going to sleep now?”

Ethan, still with his eyes closed nodded sideways, which was technically a yes to his perspective, but whatever way he moved his head he was still going to sleep. Mark found himself just staring at him, perplexed with his sleeping face. He smiled and put his phone on the stand next to his computer, turning his mic off so his work wouldn’t wake him.

He went back to work, sliding around in his chair only to come back to his computer. He made mental notes and physical notes, only getting distracted by Ethan more and more every time he would breathe and move his chest just barely. Or move so his hair would flip over or the way he huffs in his sleep. He even shakes in his sleep occasionally from the cold. Mark thought about him in the snow outside. Snow sticking to his hair, his hair a mess and rolling around in the snow, running around like a big dork. It put a smile on his face.

“Mark?”

Mark slammed his phone down on the table, glad he muted himself earlier and looked back at the computer screen before turning around in his chair. And there stood none other than Amy. His co-worker and close friend. Almost as close as Tyler, but a little closer.

“Who was that?” She smirked lightly, walking into the completely open door. Was he really that distracted that he didn’t notice his door opening? Let alone someone standing in the doorway. “You know there’s a rule against being on your phones at work” She giggled, reaching for his phone, only for Mark to pull it in his lap.

“Right. I know” He glanced back at his computer, leaving the phone in his lap as he stared at the screen. He knew she was staring. Plotting. He cleared his throat and looked back up at her “Well now that you’re done lecturing, I’d like to get back to work” He mumbled, hoping she would leave after. She stared at him, a hand on the back of his chair as she stood next to him, thinking. 

Then she smiled. “I’ll leave if you alone if you show me who you were watching” Mark knew he hated that smile for a reason.

“It was just a friend” Mark reassured her, knowing the call was still going on. Maybe he could hang up? Yeah but then he wouldn’t get to see Ethan sleeping and have to call back, which he didn’t want to do.

“Which friend? I don’t know any boys with brown hair other than Tyler and he’s down a few doors talking with another person… So who’s this boy you’re talking to?” She pried, smiling down at him.

Mark huffed and sighed “Fine” Amy grinned, waiting for him to talk “His name is Ethan. He’s about twenty-”

“Ohhh, You like young boys”

“Shut up, he’s blind. He was born with cataracts and we met in a park where my dog distracted his seeing-eye dog” Mark mumbled, putting his phone back on the table, propping it back on the stand. There he was, still lying on the couch, Saerla laying on the couch at his feet, her tail and back leg only in view.

“...So is he your boyfriend?”

“No”

“So he’s your boyfriend” 

“What- No”

“So you want him to be your boyfriend?” 

“Amy that’s not the point” Mark sighed, slightly annoyed with the topic. He checked to make sure he was still muted before looking at her “I’ve known him for about nine months, almost a year now. But…” He glanced back at Ethan and smiled “We did kiss”

“What? And you’re not dating him?!”

“No, I mean… I like him, I’m pretty sure he likes me, but it’s just never come up. Besides, just because you kiss someone doesn’t mean you have to date them. My moms would always kiss me when I’d leave or when I got somewhere”

“Yeah, but he isn’t your mother Mark!” Amy nearly screamed, obviously trying to contain herself. “You need to ask him out!”

“Amy-”

“Do you like him?”

“...Yeah?”

“Ask him out. You definitely won’t regret that” She pointed to the phone with Ethan sleeping and smiled “if you don’t ask him out, I just might. He’s a pretty cute one” She smirked at him, waiting for a reaction she never got.

Mark blinked slowly, staring at Ethan “Don’t you dare” He whispered, looking up at her “In fact- After this, I’m taking him on another date tonight! And I’m asking him out” Mark crossed his arms defensively before frowning “Wait-”

“Jealous much?” Amy smirked and patted his shoulder “Thank me later when you’re finally dating again” She giggled, walking out of the office to leave Mark staring at Ethan through his phone screen. Watching his chest rise and fall with his oh so soft breathe.

Amy was right. Mark hadn’t dated since high school and he had to admit he never liked it. Imagine falling in love to only get your heart broken when they don’t love you back? Mark would rather not. He was already coping with the loss of his father throughout high school and couldn’t bother with more heartbreak. He sighed, glancing back at Ethan’s sleeping body. He thought about if it was even worth it. Was falling in love only to get hurt really worth it? Falling for Ethan, only for Ethan to hurt him. But there’s no way he could even do that. Even if there was… Mark decided that Ethan would just have to be worth it in the long run. 

He looked up at the window in his office, catching just a glimpse of a certain best friend’s golden curls before they disappeared. He smiled, looking at his phone for the hundredth time that day. He smirked a little, having to just think about what they were. Amy had something here… Mark just had to figure out what she was getting at.

Mark eventually finished his work. He stared at the phone for the most part and took multiple screenshots of a certain sleeping boy. Maybe 162 new photos, and or screenshots. Mark picked up his phone on his way out the door, watching as Ethan still lay there sleeping. If he were timing things right from their first date, Kathryn would be coming home soon.

Mark put in his earbuds, himself still muted before turning his volume up in case something besides Ethan waking up happened. On cue, he heard a door over the phone open and a slight “Aww” in the back round. Feet shuffling, keys jingling, a coat rustling before quiet footsteps. Mark had to think about how this was what it was like to be blind.

He stayed silent for a few seconds before he heard more shuffling and walked out of the building. He held his phone next to his stomach as he walked, thinking about what Amy had said. Mark got the fact that she was right, but there’s always something more than that. She always something planned.

He sighed, rubbing his face, checking which street he was on to make sure he didn’t pass his house. Maybe her goal was to make Mark confused, not likely, but still something she would do. He felt a little agitated, glancing down at Ethan. He felt happy again, merely in seconds. He looked up and blinked rapidly, slightly confused. He stopped walking and looked down at his phone, smiling at Ethan.

He picked up his pace a little, unmuting himself, making sure he wasn’t too loud before whispering “Kathryn?” He continued his speed-walk to his apartment. Walking through the front doors before heading for the stairs.

“Mark?” She walked over to Ethan, slowly picking up his phone “Oh, you guys were in a call” She smiled at him, finishing taking off her purse “Do you need something?” She smiled.

Mark felt his stomach turn slightly. But why? “Oh, Well I called Ethan about an hour ago and he just fell asleep, but… Oh God- You can’t tell him okay? Well, I’m actually asking you to tell him. Um… I was planning on taking him out again and.. Possibly- It’s complicated”

“You want him to spend the night”

“...Yes”

“Why didn’t you just say that?” She laughed, looking over to make sure he’s still asleep “I won’t tell him, but I’ll tell him you want to go on another date?”

Mark smiled a little, walking up the steps “Yeah. I was thinking coffee- Does he like coffee? Or tea or something.. Do you know what his favorite drink is?”

“He likes milkshakes, but can’t exactly eat a lot. Small stomach, also, he absolutely hates coffee-”

“I think him and I need to see other people” 

“I think that’d break his heart”

“Oh no, You’ve made my joke depressing” Mark laughed “I would never. I know he’s sensitive and I can’t wait to see his face when I ask him over” Mark smiled a little to himself, listening to Kathryn’s laugh.

“Yeah…” Kathryn sighed and smiled “I’ll tell him when he wakes then?”

“Yeah” 

“Alright. Bye, Mark”

“Thank you, Kathryn”

Kathryn smiled at him, winking before ending the call. Mark stared at the little red button and time stamp. It didn’t feel like two hours but granted Mark was watching the same scene throughout those hours. He smiled to himself, opening his apartment door to be greeted by a Tyler on the couch, watching TV.

Mark looked at him as he slowly closed the door, not breaking eye contact “Amy told me you were going to ask Ethan out” Mark groaned loudly, taking his shoes off.

“Why has this news spread so quickly- And why haven’t I got a say in telling people this?” Mark walked over to sit next to Tyler, glaring at him “But yes, I’m planning on”

“Congrats for finally manning up”

“Oh I am extremely worried” Mark laughed “But… I have the perfect idea for a date” He smirked to himself.

“Coffee date?”

“How the hell-”

“Kathryn”

“Wait. You know Kathryn?”

“Of course I know Kathryn. The Ethan I also talk about is your Ethan” Tyler laughed “You didn’t know?”

“If I had known I wouldn’t be so shocked right now!” Mark sighed, processing everything. “Wait so... I know you and Amy, You knew Kathryn.. Kathryn knows you and Ethan and Ethan knows you and Kathryn- But I know Amy and You, And you know.. All of us?”

“Mark I have no idea, but if it works for you then sure” Tyler took one last sip of his coffee before standing up “Go have fun on your date man”

Mark sat in shock for a second, thinking about how long their friends were friends, but he had no idea. So.. Ethan didn’t know Tyler or he did? Well, Amy and Ethan didn’t know each other, and Ethan… technically didn’t know Tyler since Kathryn was Tyler’s friend. Wait, did Amy and Kathryn know each other?

“Stop thinking and go on your date” Tyler called from the other room.

“I have too many questions!” Mark laughed to himself before standing up “Alright alright.. I’m going” He mumbled, getting his shoes back on before heading out the door. He thought about all of the friends again this time. Amy knew him and Tyler. She didn’t know Kathryn or Ethan. Tyler knew everyone. He only knew Amy and Tyler. He sighed, rubbing his head.

Tyler knew everyone. Amy knew him and Tyler. He knew Amy and Tyler. So the three of them all knew each other, while Kathryn and Ethan knew each other, plus Tyler. Oh, that makes it so much easier. 

But now Mark knew them all. Tyler knew them all. Amy didn’t know Kathryn or Ethan. Kathryn didn’t know Amy. Oh never mind, Mark was confused as all hell now. He groaned as he walked down the sidewalk to Ethan’s apartment. Why is his life so complicated? Why is just the biggest question he had always had. Just why?

Mark winced as he ran into the door, holding his nose. He sighed and smiled a little, walking into Ethan’s apartment making very brief eye contact with the secretary before turning away. He sighed heavily, quickly making his way to the elevator to pull out his phone.

Mark 4:33 PM: Fuck. 

Ethan 4:35 PM: What’d you do?

Mark 4:36 PM: Ran into a wall

Ethan 4:38 PM: Ow? How’d you do that

Mark 4:39 PM: Was thinking of things and btw I’m on the way to get Ethan

Ethan 4:40 PM: Oh, He’s been awake for maybe twenty minutes now. He’s been ready for a few minutes, getting nervous.

Mark 4:41 PM: I am too :”)

Kathryn smiled, patting Ethan on the shoulder “He’s just as nervous as you are. No reason to be scared, alright?” She giggled. She watched Ethan huff a little, hugging the pillow tightly against his chest. “Relax.. Mark isn’t scary, remember?”

Ethan whined, rubbing his face “Alright, I know but... It’s always scary” he laughed “What if one time he comes to get me and he tells me he doesn’t like me anymore and then he has to talk me home while I’m this numb and crying mess?!” Ethan mumbled, his lip quivering.

Kathryn blinked “It’s a possibility-”

“See?!”

“No, Ethan, You don’t see”

Ethan took a deep breath, sighing loudly. “Shut the fuck Kathryn” He muttered “But you see my point right? He could just-”

“He wouldn’t”

“But-”

“If he wanted to he would’ve by now”

“But what if this time is the time-”

“Alright! It’s a possibility, but it’s also not likely”

“You admit the truth!” He laughed.

Kathryn groaned, rolling her eyes. Ethan jumped slightly at the knock on the door. Ethan whined, rubbing his head. Kathryn stared at him and smiled, walking to the door before opening it “Oh hey Mark!” She smiled, whispering “He’s really nervous” She leaned back, glancing at him, gesturing to him.

Mark smiled and walked over, sitting next to him “Hey bud” He watched Ethan smiled and held out his hand “You ready..?” 

Ethan took a shaky breath and smiled. “Yeah”

___

“So… Where are we going?” Ethan held onto Mark’s hand tightly as they walked. They’d been walking for a few minutes and Ethan didn’t think it was that far from town but he felt cold and was hearing a lot of strange noises he’s rarely ever heard.

“Well, I was going to take you to a little.. Okay no, it sounds too cliche to say out loud, but… I’m taking you to hear the color blue” Mark smiled.

Ethan’s fingers tangled with Mark’s as they walked. Ethan stayed silent trying to think of what the hell Mark was talking about. What did Mark explain to be the color blue? Cold? Ocean- Ocean.. Ethan blinked, his other arm finding Mark’s sleeve “We’re going to the ocean?” 

“Are you scared?”

“We’re not swimming are we- I don’t know how to swim!” Ethan whined, gripping Mark’s arm a little tighter.

“Oh god no, I hate the ocean” Mark smiled “It’s my biggest fear, well… It’s up there anyway” He looked down at Ethan, knowing exactly what his biggest fear was. Losing someone he loved. Rejection. Same category. What was it he was afraid of? Getting his heart broken. Most likely, or getting hurt. Selfish, but true. He was afraid of the lonely nights, crying and broken-hearted when the person he loves was out living a peaceful life.

“Oh… I’m afraid of getting hurt” Ethan’s statement caught Mark off guard a little. He guessed Ethan wasn’t the type to be vague. Straight to the point and blunt. He had to admire that.

“I… Don’t you think everyone is?” Mark mumbled.

“Well. No, There are some people who don’t care what happens to them… I know because I used to be one. Don’t worry! I promise I’m fine now” Ethan smiled, holding onto Mark’s arm with both of his hands now “In high school I just used to.. Not think. I wouldn’t try and I guess I just didn’t care. I’m still like that a few times now and again, but it’s over small stuff. In the long run though, I’ll always be scared of something…” Ethan’s fingers gripped Mark’s jacket a little tighter than before.

Mark stared down at the ground, noticing they were getting closer to the pier “It’s normal to be scared though. And to feel, So… I think I’d be happier being scared of getting hurt and not do something then doing it and getting myself hurt or.. Dead- Oh god” Mark winced at the topic change.

“Whoa, got a little morbid there, buddy” Ethan laughed, smelling the air “Whoa- It smells like salt!” He smiled.

“You know what salt smells like?”

“Of course I know what salt smells like, Oh my god” Ethan mumbled, a little shocked at himself for snapping “Sorry, but yeah. I know what a lot of smells smell like. Well, name wise… I don’t know what it looks like, but it’s small and grainy”

“Sounds salty”

“Are you fucking joking?”

Mark snickered, laughing once Ethan smacked his arm “I’m joking, I’m joking!” He laughed, rubbing his arm “No need to get violent”

“Sorry” Ethan smiled “Did i…. Hurt you?” He smirked a little, covering his mouth to keep from laughing.

“Alright, I’m done with jokes” Mark laughed, Ethan eventually joining in, both their laughs echoing around the beach view “Hey, we’re close” Mark smiled, deciding to take Ethan down to the pier.

“Please don’t let me fall into the water” Ethan mumbled.

“I won’t, We’re going along the edge”

“Even better!”

Mark smiled, finding a bench near the beach “You wanna go near the water?”

“Hmm… Yeah” Ethan smiled, sitting next to Mark on the bench.

“You might wanna take your shoes off” Mark suggested, already untying his own to lay them on the bench. He watched Ethan struggle at first, finding the correct strings before pulling them apart, watching the big loops flop around before he untied them. He hummed a little, never seeing someone tie their shoes like that before.

Ethan smiled, putting his shoes on the bench before rolling his pant legs up to his jeans “Have you done this before?” Ethan smiled, adjusting his jeans as he stared at the ground.

Mark, already having his jeans rolled up looking up at the dark sky, it already getting darker thanks to the evening “What do you mean?”

“Gone on a date at the beach- I meant” Ethan crossed his legs, waiting for Mark’s reply.

Mark looked down and stared at Ethan “No. I haven’t been on dates with anyone since high school and those girls were stuck up and wanted to go shopping” Mark laughed. Ethan stayed silent and nodded “What’s wrong?”

“Why am I different?” Ethan mumbled.

Mark stared at him briefly “Let’s go for a walk”

“..Okay” Ethan uncrossed his legs and stood up, sticking his hand out until Mark took it with a smile and led Ethan onto the sand. Mark stayed quiet, thinking about what Ethan meant. Different. Different. What about him being different? Different was good. Well, unless he meant the blind thing. Maybe he meant the beach date thing. Something more romantic than shopping. Was Ethan implying he was gay in high school before he knew it? ...Whoa.

“Whoa- It’s so soft” Ethan smiled, stepping around in the sand, kicking it around “I forgot how soft it was” Ethan laughed, stepping around while holding Mark’s hand “Mark, Are you feeling this?!”

“Yeah, It’s kind of like salt if you think about it- Just… Don’t eat it” Mark laughed, holding his arm up to keep Ethan steady.

“Obviously, but it’s so soft” He grinned, pressing his toes into the sand as they walked.

“We’re about to go into the water, so prepare your feet for the cold water” Mark informed, stepping into the water himself before Ethan slowly stepping into the water, shivering as he slowly got used to it.

“Why is the ocean so cold?!” Ethan shrieked, walking slowly through the moving tide. Ethan splashed around in the water, kicking the sand underneath around “..It’s actually kind of nice” Ethan smiled, kicking the water.

“Watch it” Mark laughed, covering his face from the water.

“I can’t do that” Ethan mumbled, stepping lightly now.

Mark sighed, swinging their hands back and forth as Ethan skipped around in the water, letting go of Mark’s hand every now and then to twirl around. Ethan always reaching back to hold onto Mark’s hand. 

“So why don’t you like the ocean?” Ethan randomly babbled.

“Well.. It’s just scary for me, You never know what’s in it and it could be anything so.. I don’t like what’s in it is all” Mark shrugged.

“Oh…” Ethan mumbled, “How tall are you?”

“Five feet, ten inches” Mark replied instantly.

“Oh cool, I’m five seven, almost five-eight” Ethan smiled “...Do you like peanut butter?”

“It’s okay I guess”

“I’m allergic to it” Ethan stopped Mark and crouched on the ground, feeling the water as if he were looking for something.

“I guessed so by the first time we kissed” Mark grinned at the way Ethan’s face grew red.

“Found it!” Ethan raised his hand out of the water, pulling up a small conch shell “I think it’s a shell” Ethan let go of Mark’s hand, carefully handling it “What’s it called again?”

“A conch shell, It’s a light tint of pink” Mark smiled.

“Oh!” He smiled, holding it in his hands “So it’s kind of like red?”

“Yeah” Mark smiled.

Ethan hummed, holding it in his hand as he reached for Mark’s hand “I’m gonna keep it” He smiled.

“Want me to keep it in my pocket?”

“Yeah” Ethan held out the shell, Mark lightly taking it to put in his pocket. They joined hands again and walked down the beach line. Ethan occasionally kicking sand and water around to find new shells, handing them off to Mark while Mark moved subtly so Ethan wouldn’t step on glass or trip. Mark watched Ethan as he moved with such small grace.

“Ow,” Ethan mumbled, taking a step back. Mark frowned at the one job he had as Ethan crouched again, digging around in the sandy water before pulling out a small rock “It’s sharp” He mumbled, holding it up for Mark.

Mark stared at it before noticing it was the same color as Ethan’s eyes “It’s white, I think it’s a quartz” He slowly took it out of Ethan’s hand, putting it in his pocket “It’s the color of your eyes”

Ethan smiled, blushing a little “Oh well.. You mean my cataracts” Ethan laughed “My mom had hazel or.. Green eyes I think while my dad had bluish-grey, and my grandma had this blue so... My eyes could vary from any of those” Ethan shrugged.

“..Your eyes could be any color” Mark supplied, Ethan, answering with an enthusiastic nod “Well… I like them no matter what”

Ethan just barely blushed, looking to the ground when he was really feeling for more rocks with his feet “Whoa- Mark feel this” Ethan crouched down, feeling around before his hand stopped “Right here” He grinned, poking something light lavender or purple under the water.

Mark crouched down with him, reaching his hand into the cold water to feel around. He hummed, pulling it out to look at it, once looking up, Ethan was walking off around the edge of the water. He laughed, shoving what looked to be an amethyst into his pocket “Where are you going?” Mark laughed through the sentence, showing he was joking.

Ethan paused “I don’t know” He genuinely sounded confused before walking again, sticking his arms out as he walked, slowly starting to run. Mark already had his phone out, snapping pictures of the sight. The sunset behind Ethan just made it better for Mark’s new phone backround, already setting it. 

He chuckled lightly, never seeing Ethan run before. Granted, he knew why, but it was a sight. To see a blind man running. Mark smiled lightly to himself. Mark stood up, pocketing his phone as he walked in the direction Ethan was running “Hey, Slow down bud!” Mark called for him, watching as Ethan slowed to a walking pace before stopping.

“I’m in need of rescue!” Ethan joked, holding his arms vertical in the air. Mark smiled and ran up behind him, hugging him, almost knocking both of them over before Ethan caught his footing in the sand “Whoa- Ahaha, Hi Mark!” Ethan laughed, his arms laying on Mark’s.

“Hi” Mark smiled, squeezing Ethan’s stomach a second before releasing him. He loved these moments, moments Ethan would remember, or so Mark hoped. Maybe if they ever got together or even got married one day, Ethan would remember this. Or maybe their first date, Mark loved the first date. A date where they met. It was nice to him. Hopefully for Ethan.

“So how do you like the color blue?” Mark whispered, reaching for Ethan’s hand as he stared at the sunset. Ethan’s hand gripped Mark’s, making Mark’s grin widen.

“It’s…” Ethan paused to sniffle, reaching up to rub his eyes “It’s beautiful Mark” Ethan was already crying. Mark couldn’t stop it “I just.. I love it. I never thought I’d get to experience the color blue but… but I got to” He grinned, turning to hug Mark.

Mark slowly hugged him back, pressing a kiss to his forehead “There’s no reason to cry… It’s just the ocean”

“It’s not just the ocean to me” Ethan mumbled “It’s my favorite color”

Mark smiled at that and pulled away, holding onto Ethan’s hand “...Let’s get you home” Mark mumbled walking back up to the sand, pushing and pulling Ethan away from the broken glass and sharp object he could step on.

“Actually.. Kathryn kind of told me” Ethan smiled.

Mark’s face grew red as he stayed staring at the ground “Doesn’t surprise me” He mumbled, trying to stay calm “But.. If you know, what do you say?”

Ethan grinned, stepping lightly on the cool sand “I’d love to” He laughed, feeling around before Mark helped him onto the asphalt. Mark let the tension fall off his shoulders once they found the bench with their shoes and sat Ethan down, handing him his shoes. Mark dust the sand off, putting his shoes back on, Ethan whining about the sand and gross feeling in his shoes.

“You get used to it” Mark laughed, standing up to unroll his jeans.

“I’m never coming to the ocean again” Ethan muttered, standing up, leaving his jeans. Mark liked this look. It looked cute.

“You will later” Mark smiled, taking Ethan’s hand on their walk home. Ethan stayed quiet, humming to himself as he walked with Mark. Mark had to admit he enjoyed the quiet and peace. It meant something to him. Ethan being quiet wasn’t quite so rare, but it slightly was. It wasn’t not normal, but it wasn’t just normal yet. Whatever Mark was rambling on in his head about must’ve taken a few minutes because he could already see his apartment. “We’re almost there” Mark nudged Ethan’s arm, swinging their hands.

“Are we.. gonna like- Uh” Ethan laughed “Sleeping in the same bed” he mumbled shyly.

Mark smiled and shrugged “If you want, I’m gonna be honest and say planning on it, but I swear I wasn’t thinking of anything sexual!” Mark protested, watching Ethan laugh.

“Wasn’t planning on it either” Ethan smiled widely, following Mark into the apartment complex. Mark gripping his hand as they climbed the stairs, silently opening the door. Ethan smiled as Mark led him inside, the building smelling like coffee and cologne and.. Mark. It smelled like Mark. Ethan took a big breath, smelling the air with a smile. He heard Mark taking his shoes off, Ethan taking his own off “Stupid sand” he muttered, rubbing his legs.

Mark laughed a little, taking his hands again to lead him to the bedroom “Oh, Going in the bedroom at night” Ethan snorted at his joke, finding the bed to sit down on. Mark pulled his shirt off, watching Ethan sit awkwardly “You can get undressed you know, I swear, If we just get it over with, It won’t be as awkward” Mark reassured.

Ethan hummed, slowly taking his shirt off, his pale and small frame viewable to Mark. Mark quickly looked away, changing into sleep pants, taking the rocks and shells Ethan collected out his pocket and lay on the mantel in front of his tv where it would stay for the most part.

Mark looked back at Ethan, sitting cross-legged on the bed in his boxers, eyes shifted downwards, his fingers pulling at the loose string of Mark’s blanket. Mark smiled, taking Ethan’s hand “Hey, You know?”

“Yeah! Yeah,- Just.. Just nervous to wake up in the morning” It wasn’t a complete lie. He rarely stayed at his friend’s house, especially in middle school with the few friends he had. He never stayed the night at their house, afraid something would happen in the night or he’d wake up and cry.

“It’s okay… here” Mark took the shirt in his hand, taking Ethan’s hand, putting the shirt in his hand “Wear this tonight” Mark smiled, watching Ethan’s face grow a bright red “It’s the shirt I was wearing tonight, you can unbutton the front and wear it loosely”

Ethan hesitated, slowly taking the flannel in his hands before putting it on, smelling it. Mark watched and smiled a little. He pulled it away from his nose. Mark and ocean salt, a new smell Ethan could get used to.

“Enjoying yourself?” Mark smiled, sitting on the other side, bouncing Ethan on the bed a little. 

Ethan’s blush grew a little as he laid down, getting under the covers with Mark. He smiled a little, reaching out to feel Mark’s face “Actually. I am” He grinned, reaching his hand back to his chest, curling into a small ball. Mark took an admiring breath, closing his eyes. The last thing he saw before drifting away was the cutest sleeping figure in his own shirt in front of him.

Mark woke up early around eight to the sunlight pouring in through his windows. The warm wave of the sun coming over the blankets. He smiled to himself, staring out the window before rolling onto his back. He thought about what happened yesterday and couldn’t help the smile on his face growing wider. He yawned quietly, looking over to be greeted by a mess of brown hair and small frame in his bed. 

He remembered how nervous and shy Ethan had been last night. He remembers helping him pull off his shirt and offer something for him, Ethan hesitantly taking Mark’s shirt. He smiled to himself, a little sadder this time. It was so new. And strange, but something Mark craved. He wanted this. He wanted this every morning.

He wanted to wake up next Ethan every morning and just stare at him. How he felt so lucky to see. Ethan showed him that. To be grateful to see. To fall in love. To not be scared of falling in love. Mark held his breath as he thought about all of it. How this one boy changed his life for the better. This one boy who he’s fallen in love with and could never stop. If Mark stopped loving Ethan then he must’ve been out of his goddamn mind.

Mark came back to reality a little when Ethan rolled over in his sleep, facing Mark. Mark’s eyes widened when he saw the beauty in front of him. His hair a complete mess, sticking up and flying away. With Ethan here, he could never have imagined waking up alone. How had he lived with that for years? Ethan just… changed everything. He felt his life turn upside down. Ethan changed Mark. He’s put Mark in such a vulnerable situation where they could get hurt.

Mark closed his eyes and slowly opened them, looking back at Ethan. He smiled at his small hand, curled up by his face, the other on the pillow. Even when Mark was worrying about Ethan… Looking at him somehow just made all the bad thoughts go away. Ethan was just the light of his life now. Brightening his life in every way possible. His life suddenly wasn’t… complicated anymore.

Mark rolled over onto his bedside table, taking his phone off the charger, aiming it at Ethan. He smiled, taking the cutest picture of him ever and put his phone back, rolling back over to stare at Ethan. It felt so domestic. A little creepy, but this is something Mark has wanted for months without even knowing. It’s such a cliche and stupid thing to think or want, but god fucking damn it Mark was living right now. He wanted to live in this moment for the rest of his life.

A slight stir from Ethan scared Mark a little as Ethan’s eyes just barely fluttered open. Mark held his breath slightly, taking in the gorgeous beauty of the boy in front of him. Mark smiled at him, lowering his voice to a whisper “Good Morning” Ethan barely flinched at the sudden voice before he smiled too, reaching his hand up to rub his eye. Mark couldn’t help but notice how large his shirt was on Ethan, hanging off one of his shoulders.

“..What time is it?” Ethan’s gentle smile made Mark’s heart absolutely melt. Mark smiled and sat up. Ethan heard rustling and a slight click of something.

Mark stared at the time on his phone a little in disbelief “Nearly ten” Mark laughed.

Ethan chuckled along with him “What time did you get up?” Ethan mumbled. His voice was angelic and scratchy in the mornings. Lower pitched and groany but so beautiful. Mark remembered he asked the question and slightly panicked. 

He thought about it before thinking about lying “Uh.. About ten minutes ago?” He totally hadn’t been staring at Ethan sleep for nearly two hours “I just kind of watched you for a few minutes” hours. 

Mark watched Ethan’s face. He smiled a little, reaching his hand around, feeling the bed near him. “How far away are you?” Ethan mumbled, sitting up a little. Mark smiled, taking his hand. Ethan sat up more, Mark’s shirt falling off his shoulder again as he crawled over to Mark, laying down next to him. He pulled the blankets back up to his shoulders, laying his head on Mark’s chest. “..Found you” Mark felt Ethan’s smile against his bare chest.

Mark held his breath, looking up at the ceiling. He slowly breathed out, letting his chest rise and fall with Ethan on him. Ethan’s eyelashes grazing Mark’s chest. His hand tucked between their bodies with his other slung over Mark’s chest. His fingers, moving in small circles across mark’s ribs. His fingers lightly brushing over each bone.

Mark’s arm was around Ethan’s shoulder, holding him closer. Ethan smiled at Mark’s efforts to stay close, lifting one of his legs, wrapping it around Mark’s leg. Mark smiled, his free hand coming up to finally do what he always wanted, and comb through Ethan’s messy hair. Mark’s fingers, tangling themselves in his curly mess before pulling them away, tangling them again. Mark was never used to domestic, but he could get used to this.

“Mark..” Ethan mumbled, breaking Mark from his fantasy world. Mark was enjoying himself in that little quiet time he had.

“Yeah, bud?” Mark whispered, his hand staying in Ethan’s hair.

“..What are we?” Ethan’s hand gripped the blanket across Mark’s side. The question caught mark off guard a little. He never thought about that. They weren’t really friends anymore..but they weren’t anything. They weren't something. As much as Mark wanted that.

Mark sighed, dropping suddenly with Ethan still on it “We… aren’t anything” He felt Ethan stiffen, instant panic soaring through his body “But… I want to be something” Mark whispered, feeling Ethan soften and left out a short breath “We can be whatever you want to be- But I want this” Mark’s voice cracked as if he were about to cry.

Ethan abruptly sat up, his eyes noticeably watering “Don’t cry” Ethan laughed, rubbing his eyes before he started crying “If you cry I’ll cry” He laughed a little.

Mark sat up, chuckling as he brushed the tears away from Ethan’s eyes “I won’t. I’ll stop. Just for you” Mark mumbled, pulling Ethan against his chest, playing with his hair “Ethan.. I want to be something with you” He whispered, unsure of what he was going to get as a response. He so badly wanted them to be a thing. Something, anything.

Ethan stayed silent, reaching his hand up to comb his fingers through Mark’s hair “Whoa-” He whispered, Mark feeling regret wash over him “Your hair is really soft” Ethan mumbled, Mark breaking into laughter “What?! It is!” Ethan pulled away, Mark still holding him “I’ve never felt something so soft!” He laughed.

“Ethan. Please.. I’m trying to have a moment” Mark laughed, taking Ethan’s hands away to hold them.

“Alright. Alright- Serious time…” Ethan waited a few seconds before starting to giggle again “I’m sorry- I’m not a serious person!” He snorted, gripping Mark’s hands.

Mark smiled at him, squeezing his hands back “I’ve noticed” He mumbled, listening to Ethan’s wheezing laugh again. He absolutely loved to watch him laugh. He let go of one of Ethan’s hands, raising his hand to Ethan’s cheek. His giggles slowly died down, his smile never fading ”Ethan” Mark started, Ethan’s face shifting to a more serious tone as he held onto Mark’s free hand “Do you want to be something..?” Mark watched Ethan’s blank face.

“..Something more serious?”

“Goddamnit Ethan” Mark mumbled, listening to Ethan’s laugh again “Yes- Yes, I want something more serious” Mark laughed. Ethan smiled, moving their hands a little before tackling Mark into a hug as they lay down. Mark laughed, holding Ethan “Do I get an answer?”

“Hm… yes” Ethan smiled, laying his head on Mark’s chest to rest.

“Wait- yes to.. The question or yes to me?”

Ethan sat up, pressing a soft kiss to Mark’s lips before pulling away “..Yes” His soft features were so defined and gentle. It made Mark just want to kiss them all.

Mark sighed, Ethan laying his head back down. It was quiet. Only the sounds of Ethan’s breathing and soft shuffling along with Mark’s own breathing.

“Mark?”

“Yes?”

“..Is this the color red?”

“...This is the color red” Mark smiled, rubbing his hand over Ethan’s arm.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> updates updates !!

It was three months since Ethan had stayed at Mark’s, three months since Ethan had known what love was. Three months since they had started dating. It had also been three months since Ethan refused to give Mark his shirt back. Although it was Mark’s favorite shirt, he guessed it was also Ethan’s favorite.

They sat in Mark’s apartment, Mark closing his eyes while listening to the TV instead of watching. Ethan was complaining about the show and somehow ended up with Mark having to listen to the show instead of watching it “This is stupid-” Mark started.

Ethan elbowed his ribs, smiling “Hush, I’m trying to listen to Dipper and Mabel run from garden gnomes” Ethan laughed.

“Is that what episode this is?” Mark opened one of his eyes, glancing up at the TV. It was, Mark shrugged and pulled Ethan a little closer. He had his arm around Ethan’s shoulder, leaning back against the couch while Ethan leaned into him, his knees curled up to his chest. Mark noticed the small tics Ethan had over the months. He’d chew the skin around his nail until it bled and wouldn’t know if it was bleeding or not, coming to Mark to ask if it was bleeding or not. More often than not his finger was bleeding.

He would walk slouched over and not at his full height, he would tap his fingers or hands, laugh randomly or at something unfunny. He would smile at the stupid things Mark would say, get scared when he would hear a dog. Even Chica at some times, but once he got used to Chica he warmed up to her. Mark even remembers the first time Ethan wanted to see her, he opened the door himself and threw himself on the floor in front of her, petting and praising her. Mark couldn’t help but take pictures.

His friends eventually teased him once they realized his camera roll was full of pictures of Ethan. Amy squealed when she saw his background was Ethan at the beach. She teased him every day after that too.

“Mark?” Ethan mumbled, poking his face.

Mark opened his eyes again, looking down at Ethan “Sorry, What?” Mark mumbled back.

“I got scared you weren’t talking” Etha admitted, slightly embarrassed.

“Oh,” Mark whispered, hugging Ethan with his arm “Sorry, I was zoning out” Mark smiled, kissing his boyfriend’s head. His favorite thing to do. And Ethan’s favorite kiss to receive. Almost favorite? He liked all the kisses mark would give him.

“I figured, but it’s not like I can see that” Ethan laughed, scratching the fabric of his jeans on his knee. He looked so small and shy. Mark was happy to finally call him his own. To be able to call Ethan his boyfriend. He should tell his friends at some point. He thought about what Ethan wanted. Maybe Ethan wouldn’t want everyone to know. It was a hard thing to just ask “Mark..” Ethan mumbled his name again, this time shakier.

“Uh- Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, zoning out more” Mark frowned, looking at Ethan’s worried face. His fingers tapping rapidly and randomly on his knee, his feet curling around the edge of the couch. Mark loved his mismatched socks as well.

“I know, but It’s worrying me..” Ethan mumbled “You don’t normally do this” Ethan did sound worried. Mark couldn’t help but feel guilty for that. He sighed, rubbing Ethan’s arm.

“I know” Mark whispered “I’m just thinking about stuff in the past few months. You know, we’ve known each other for almost a year-”

“Oh my god, Please don’t tell me you’re proposing right now..”

“We’ve only been dating for three months-”

“That’s why!” Ethan laughed.

“No, I’m not proposing” Mark smiled at the thought though “I’m just happy. Remembering you at the beach, and complaining about sand- or going shopping at midnight..” Mark laughed at the memory of Ethan standing in the aisle, spilling glitter everywhere as Mark laughed. 

“Oh god- I remember spilling glitter everywhere and then you wrote “GAY” in it before just walking away..” Ethan giggled at the memory too, leaning into Mark more.

“Yeah..” Mark whispered, “Hey Ethan, Do you ever think we should tell the gang about us?”

“I don’t see why not... I was just scared they’d tease me and start asking a bunch of personal stuff like they usually do” He shrugged “I’ve still never met this “Amy” girl you’ve told me about anyways” Ethan moved with his legs slung over Mark’s leg into a more comfortable position for himself.

“She’s a girl I work with, but… Maybe you two should meet” Mark suggested.

“No!” Ethan pulled away from Mark, his hands up defensively “No- I mean, I’d like to but.. I only know my family, the two friends, you, and that’s it. I don’t know how I’ll be with meeting another stranger…” Ethan fiddled with his fingers, picking at the skin.

“Hey” Mark grabbed Ethan’s hand to stop him from picking “You don’t have to meet her, but she’s really excited to meet you. I think you’d actually really like her, she’s super sweet, I promise”

Ethan’s fingers found themselves messing with Mark’s hand “Not today... But later”

“It doesn’t even have to be this week, you could wait a year if that’s what you need” Mark smiled “But I was thinking you’d like to be there when we tell her we’re dating”

“I.. I guess, but it’d be strange to meet a stranger and the first thing you say is “Hey, I’m dating your friend” Like-” Ethan laughed “What are you supposed to do with that?” Ethan said in a funny cartoon voice. 

Mark laughed too, shaking his head “I’m not really sure” He grinned “Maybe we can invite everyone and then you can get to know her for a few hours? Then tell her?” Ethan randomly started moving their hands up and down, fiddling with Mark’s hoodie sleeve.

“Hm… Yeah, That sounds nice” Ethan flinched at a loud noise from the TV before laughing at the next few lines the twins said, “We could marathon Gravity Falls!” Ethan gasped, gripping Mark’s hands.

Mark grinned “Yeah! And then after a few episodes and sharing facts about each other we can tell them” Mark squeezed Ethan’s hands back, watching Ethan’s face. It was something Mark could never get tired of looking at it. Then a thought hit Mark. A good idea.

“Yeah!” Ethan snorted.

Mark grinned, taking one hand away to take out his phone “Text them over now?” Mark already opened Amy’s contact and was typing away.

“Yeah, and Kathryn and Tyler too?”

Mark 2:14 PM: Hey, I’d like you to meet Ethan. Come over now?

“Yeah, I’ll text them too, Kathryn doesn’t work today?”

“Nope,” Ethan played with Mark’s other hand while he texted, feeling his nails and arms.

Amy 2:16 PM: Finally, where are you?

Mark 2:17 PM: My apartment

-

Mark 2:18 PM: Hey Tyler, comer over to the apartment, Ethan wants the whole gang to hang out

Tyler 2:20 PM: im still out shopping so ill buy some snacks  
Tyler 2:21 PM: and yes i know no peanuts

-

Mark 2:23 PM: Hi kat

Kathryn 2:24 PM: It’s new to have you texting me on my own phone

Mark 2:25 PM: Ha. Ha.  
Mark 2:26 PM: Ethan wants the whole gang to hang out, so come over to my apartment?

Kathryn 2:28 PM: I’ll come by in a few, just cleaning up the kitchen

-

Mark looked up from his phone, noticing Ethan’s bored expression as he held onto Mark’s arm. He wondered how long it would take before he’d fall asleep this time. He decided on talking to him instead of ignoring him “Well, everyone’s on their way”

Ethan’s head perked up, a new smile on his face “Even Amy?”

“Especially Amy”

Ethan chuckled, letting go of Mark’s arm “How’d you meet Amy?” Ethan hugged his knees instead, resting his chin in his hands, his fingers drumming across his cheeks. Strangely an innocent and domestic scene.

“Um..” Mark tried to recall it. He vaguely remembers Tyler introducing them at work “I’ll have to get back to you on that one” Mark mumbled, partly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, I don’t remember how I met a bunch of strangers, but they claim to know me” Ethan laughed. 

Mark smiled at his small giggle “I love your laugh” Mark subconsciously mumbled, his thumb, rubbing a circle on Ethan’s shoulder. He could feel how tense Ethan had gotten under his hand “It’s beautiful”

“Mark-”

“I mean it” Mark cut him off. He knew Ethan was self-conscious, but sometimes the truth needed to be said “It’s wonderful and light, It makes me want to laugh. It’s goofy and childish.. But it’s gorgeous- and it’s one of the best sounds I’ve ever heard..”

Ethan sat there, slightly stunned, his gaze on the ground. Although he wasn’t looking at anything, it was an endearing sight to see. To see Ethan tense up and his face burn red. He hated being complimented, and Mark knew that. He definitely knew it.

Mark was quiet as well. Maybe this time he pushed Ethan a little. He certainly thought so when he heard Ethan sniffle “Ethan-”

“I’m fine” Ethan smiled, his voice cracking as if he were about to cry. Mark’s chest clenched. His heart ached at that. He made an agreement with himself that this was the saddest thing he’s ever heard. The voice of not just anyone, as sad as it is, but Ethan’s voice cracking right before he started crying “I just.. Never been told that- I mean, I’ve never been told this, or.. That- grammar isn’t my strong suit right now” Ethan chuckled again, stopping it before smiling and laughing again. How Mark had just changed something about him, showing him to love the flaws.

Ethan stopped laughing and jumped a little at the sound of someone knocking on wood. Mark smiled, looking at him “Relax, someone, is just here”

“Oh..” Ethan smiled “OH-” Ethan did not smile.

Mark did smile though, getting up and letting go of Ethan’s shoulder to stand up, walking to the door. Mark opened the door, greeted by the sweet face of his closest friend, Amy. She squealed and smiled, hugging Mark before looking past him at Ethan. He was hugging his knees and chewing his fingernail. Mark turned around, realizing the nervous tick fairly quickly.

Mark waved her over, Mark standing in front of Ethan, smiling down at him like an idiot.

“Guys, stop being quiet- It makes me anxious” Ethan mumbled, the skin on his finger between his clenched teeth.

Mark laughed along with Amy’s light giggle “Alright” Mark smiled, taking Ethan’s finger carefully from his mouth, offering his hand instead.

“Please be Kathryn” Ethan whispered, messing with Mark’s hands.

“Amy-”

“Fuck!”

“This is Ethan” Mark smiled, gesturing to the curled up figure with his free hand “He’s a little... Anxious” he leaned over so Ethan couldn’t hear them, just barely whispering “Because you know” he gestured again to his eyes “He can’t see what’s happening”

Amy pouted before looking at Ethan and nodded. Ethan in fact, didn’t hear Mark. He knew he was leaning over from how his hand moved but couldn’t hear anything.

“Hi, I’m... Ethan- I mean, You know that- Wait. Fuck- Shit” He laughed, Amy and Mark, laughing along with him “I’m bad at this, I am so sorry”

“There’s no need to apologize!” Amy waved him off, smiling at him “I can understand why you would be this way” Ethan had to admit... She was super sweet. Kind, Her voice was soft and adorable. If he didn’t know any better, he’d mistake her as a female Mark. Quiet and gentle, modest and sweet. Even though he was bisexual, he wouldn’t date her though. He was attracted to Mark. What if he was an attraction? Only being attracted to one person. Ethan blinked rapidly a moment, thinking about what it would be like for Mark to be some race and for there to be thousands of Marks in the world.

“What’s he doing?” Amy whispered, watching as Ethan stared off into space, his head bobbing up and down.

Mark watched his for a second before slowly sitting next to him “Nodding off”

Amy smiled and watched as Ethan’s small fingers played with Mark’s much larger ones. Ethan’s were small, pale and skinny while Mark’s was dark, smooth and a little thicker. She loved it. How they contrasted. How they completed each other.

“That’d be horrifying-” Ethan mumbled, shaking Mark’s hand a little. 

Mark looked at him slightly confused before looking back up at Amy “What would be horrifying?”

“If the whole world has this “Mark” race and there’d be thousands of Marks... It’d be terrible” Ethan mumbled.

Mark laughed suddenly, Amy trying hard not to. Ethan laughed at his own strangeness and snorted even, covering his nose.

“I heard it!” Mark stopped abruptly, his fingers gripping Ethan’s just as steady grip “You can’t deny it!”

“Yes I can- I didn’t do that!”

“I heard it, though” Amy smiled innocently.

“Amy, I thought I was going to like you” Ethan sighed dramatically.

Amy laughed, ruffling his hair “Aw, It’s good to meet you too... Snorty baby” She cooed.

“I do not snort! I just- suck in air through my mouth while laughing and it makes my nose do weird sounds!!”

“...Ethan that’s snorting”

“Shut up Mark”

Ethan jumped again, letting out a small shriek as the doorbell rang. He hated the doorbell, It was too loud and sudden. Amy jumped at Ethan’s scream, putting a hand on his arm for comfort “Mark, You go get it..” Amy waved him off, her other hand resting on her leg “Hey Ethan..”

“Um... H-Hi” Ethan smiled awkwardly, immediately wishing Mark was back at his side.

“So.. What do you like to do for fun?”

Ethan gasped, smiling instantly “Oh! I love to play!” He giggled “Like the ukulele, and piano- Well I can’t exactly play piano, but a little bit and I know the chords- Oh and I like to sing!” He was practically bouncing up and down when Mark came back with Tyler, keeping silent to not disturb Ethan’s happy mood.

Amy instantly picked up on it and smiled “Oh? What else do you like?”

“Uh... I like to imagine things. Like what colors would be and how my friends look” Ethan smiled, his cheeks a light pink, his hand on his neck already scratching his short hairs “Like... I can’t exactly do it well since I’ve never seen anyone, but Mark lets me feel his face sometimes!” He stopped suddenly, leaning his ear over towards the door. Mark and Tyler stayed as quiet as possible, only glancing at each before Ethan turned back, his voice just low enough for Mark and Tyler to hear “Don’t tell Mark, but I like to feel his face… It’s so soft and cute and I really really like to feel his cheekbones” Ethan felt around his own face, placing his finger on his cheekbone “There!” He laughed, Amy, giggling along with him, making glances at Mark.

Amy smirked, tapping her fingers on her knee “Sooooo- Are you two dating?”

Mark smiled, luckily noticing Ethan’s worried expression before walking beside him “Actually” He noticed Ethan’s slight jump as he suddenly spoke “That’s a personal question, and not to mention even if we were, maybe one of us doesn’t want to come out yet” Mark sat down with Ethan, gesturing to the chair for Tyler to sit. He nodded and sat, quietly.

“No comment” Ethan murmured, letting his knees fall onto the couch, his legs just barely touching the ground while Amy’s dangled a good foot about the end of the couch.

“So there’s got to be something going on” Amy smirked.

“Or we could just be friends..” Ethan played along. He knew what Mark was going at. If Mark said it, Amy wouldn’t believe him, but if Ethan did. She just might. Mark got the reaction he wanted which was Amy blinking a little surprised and leaning back.

“Of course, I understand that” She smiled, glaring daggers still at Mark before pulling out her phone, texting away. A notification from Mark’s phone, another glare from Amy. Mark was hesitant to pull out his phone and check her texts.

Amy 3:18 PM: I thought you said you were going to ask him out?

Mark 3:19 PM: Uhh…

Amy 3:19 PM: You’d never chicken out on this!  
Amy 3:19 PM: I know how you are  
Amy 3:20 PM: You’d be scared but you’d do it anyways

“Are you guys trying to say something about me?” Ethan mumbled, listening to the keyboard sound effects on the phones stop.

“No- No, no, I promise we’re not, we’re just texting notes to each other” Mark reassured, putting an arm around him.

“Oh.. I’m sorry- I don’t like when I don’t know what’s going on” He laughed, holding onto Mark’s arm.

“I know” Mark did know. He knew about Ethan’s insecurities and how scared he was. He didn’t like loud sounds, didn’t like quiet sounds, or scary sounds. He didn’t like the sound of dogs barking or the sound of people whispering. Far fetched, but he always thinks they’re talking about him. And Mark knows, because Ethan’s told him.. Many, many, many times before. And every time, Mark listens and takes it in.

Mark hugged Ethan closer to his chest, moving his arms to Ethan’s waist. Ethan smiling contently, leaning back into Mark’s chest. It felt warm and safe. He loved it.

Mark noticed Amy’s wide eyes and grin. As soon as she opened her mouth Mark cleared his throat, only scaring Ethan a little before resting his head on Ethan’s shoulder for comfort. He glared at Amy from there, a silent demand to not make Ethan feel uncomfortable. It took a few minutes for Amy to process, she still fully didn’t, but she understood the glare to not speak.

Tyler smiled from his chair, already aware of the situation. No one understood the silent glares like Tyler did. Ethan flinched at another knock at the door “I’ll get it” Tyler said lightly as to not scare Ethan anymore. Mark lifted his head to look over at Tyler getting up, only to look back at Amy.

Mark was about to pull his hands away until Ethan laid his arm on top of Mark’s, his other hand hugging the arm he was leaning into. Mark suddenly didn’t want to let go of him anymore. He did smile though, burying his face into Ethan’s neck.

Ethan laughed, leaning his head down a little, whispering “What’d’ya doin there?” He knocked their heads together as Tyler came back with Kathryn, offering the chair to her before standing next to it, leaning on the chair.

“Annoying you” Mark whispering, rubbing his chin against Ethan’s neck.

Mark got the exact reaction he wanted. Ethan screamed and pulling away, pushing his face away “Ew- No, stop it! I hate it when you do that!” Ethan grumbled, rubbing his neck. Mark laughed, not loosening his group. Ethan though didn’t try to pull away “Shave your stupid porcupine” He smiled.

“I do, but then you tell me it feels like a baby”

“I like it that way!”

“It sounds creepy!”

“It’s soft!”

“Creepy!”

Ethan laughed, pulling away from Mark’s hold “Alright alright, enough arguing. Pretty sure no one wants to hear us scream “Creepy” and “Soft” back and forth for another ten minutes” Ethan mumbled, feeling around the table for his drink before Mark just handed it to him. Ethan smiled, sitting back and drinking from his favorite mug.

“Aw, I was gonna say it was cute” Amy giggled, looking at Ethan’s blush

Ethan laughed lightly, finding the table again to carefully put his glass down “That depends on what you think is cute”

“What?”

“Some people think dogs are cute, flowers, cookies, colors, and others think skulls-”

“Skulls?” Mark interrupted Ethan, putting his arm back around Ethan’s shoulder.

Ethan found himself leaning into his chest, curling his knees. “Yeah, and black roses, and black dresses or.. Well I guess it wouldn’t really be cute but like an interest”

“I think arrows are cute” Kathryn smiled.

“Arrows?” Mark looked over at her.

“Yeah, like painted arrows on vintage wood, or golden arrows, like... The cute things”

“Oh I get it now” Mark nodded “I was thinking a tattoo of that would be cool on your finger or like around your arm- I’ve seen them. They’re pretty cool” Mark smiled, feeling Ethan’s arm wrap around his chest. He smiled, noticing Kathryn’s smile as well, then her eyebrows jumped, followed by a wink. He sighed through his nose, looking at Ethan and smiled. Ethan wore a neutral face, his sunglasses partially crooked thanks to the position where he was leaning into Mark’s chest. Mark’s foot laying on his right knee as Ethan tucks himself into the small space of Mark’s side. He regret looking up to see Amy’s excited expression.

“Mark” Amy’s voice was collectively higher. 

Mark noticed Ethan’s hand sliding around his waist, Ethan’s hand slipping under his shirt to lightly tickle his side. He smiled at Ethan’s movements before humming “Yes Amy?”

“Care to elaborate?” Amy pointed to Ethan before crossing her legs, leaning over a little to glare happily at Mark.

Mark thought about it. Would he risk Ethan freaking out and not feeling comfortable with cuddling around their friends anymore? Probably not. He’d seen Ethan’s fair share of nervousness and anxious times and panic attacks and all that ‘Fun Jazz’. He tried calming Ethan down most of the times, Ethan easily calming Mark down when he was nervous. He swore Ethan had superpowers.

“Come on guys, you all already know what the answer is” Mark mumbled, partially hoping the conversation would drop after that.

“Yeah, but they want to hear you say it” Ethan smiled from his spot against Mark’s chest, his hand coming back to the front of Mark’s chest, laying in front of him.

“Are you even okay with that?” Mark laughed, moving Ethan as he laughed.

Ethan shrugged, smiling as he listened to Mark’s laugh from his chest. It was angelic and literally moved it “I’m too tired to be aware” Ethan mumbled, pushing up his sunglasses.

“You’re always tired lately” Mark mumbled, patting Ethan’s back, actually pulling him closer.

“Probably because I’m staying up all night” Ethan yawned, sitting up, Mark pulling him right back down into his side “Alright, or not” He laughed, at least moving Mark’s arm to his waist to rub his arm with his thumb.

“Well, why are you staying up all night?” Mark mumbled, leaning his head onto Ethan’s.

“Oh my god, Stop stalling! I’ll do it if you don’t!” Ethan lightly elbowed Mark in the stomach, not wanting to hurt Mark. As much as he said it’s fine to do, Ethan insists to not hurt him.

“Alright... Ethan and I.. are dating” He sighed, flinching at Amy and Kathryn’s squeals. Ethan’s hands shot up to his ears, covering them before shutting his eyes “Guys! Guys” Mark sat up, his arm pulling Ethan closer.

“I’m fine, I’m fine” Ethan smiled lightly, letting Mark’s hands rest on his own “Just- Sudden” He laughed, Mark smiling at him “But uh... Yeah, we’re a thing.

Amy smiled, a little guilty before brushing it off a little “How long?”

“Three months”

“Ethan!”

“You’re not gonna say immediately” Ethan grumbled, sitting up a little to hold Mark’s hand that was around his waist “it’s been fun, we’ve gone to the beach and to the park at night and- oh, i don’t wanna go that far, never mind” Ethan giggled.

“Ohh- No, do tell” Amy smirked, leaning forwards a little.

“We sleep in the same bed” Ethan whispered, giggling when Mark gasped. Mark sighed, tickling Ethan’s sides “No- Not again, Fuck you” Ethan laughed, squirming out of Mark’s grasp until he was a few inches away from Mark.

Mark laughed, reaching over to hold his hand “Aw, Come on”

“No, Fuck you” Ethan smiled, pushing his hand away.

“Alright” Mark stood up “It wasn’t planned, purely, but what movie do you guys wanna see?”

Tyler shrugged “I don’t really care as long as everyone agrees” Tyler shrugged, giving off that half smile that he always rocks.

“A chick flick!” Amy smiled.

“No” Kathryn deadpanned “What about a sci-fi movie?”

“No” Amy shook her head, her hair and earrings shaking with her “What about a romantic comedy?”

“I’m not in the mood” Kathryn mumbled.

“..What about a Disney movie?” Ethan mumbled, smiling into his knees. Mark looked at Ethan, back at Amy and Kathryn smiling to them “We don’t have to-”

“I’d like to though!” Amy interrupted him, rubbing his shoulder “Which one though?”

“Yeah, what about the lion king?” Kathryn suggested.

“Oh, but Mufasa's’ death is sad” Tyler whined a little, groaning after.

“How about the hunchback of Notre Dame?” Amy laughed “It’s been years since I’ve seen it”

“Oh? I’ve seen that one! It’s one of my favorites!” Ethan grinned.

“I’m okay with it” Kathryn looked up at Mark, nodding as Tyler left to get popcorn. Mark came back to sit down, setting up Netflix. By the time the movie started, Tyler and Amy moved to the floor, Kathryn had throw popcorn at Mark until Mark threw them back. Amy tried catching it in her mouth, either hitting her in the face or Ethan who sat behind her. He sat the same way before, tucked up under Mark’s side.

Ethan was enjoying the background music, it practically setting him off to sleep. Tyler took all three bowls of popcorn and put them on the floor in front of him so no more would be thrown, only the fourth bowl to be trusted with Ethan. 

He didn’t like popcorn all that much, but he tried throwing it up and catching it, at one point it slipping down his shirt “Aw, popcorn went down my bra” So sleep deprived, he ignored his own sentence as he went to get the rouge popcorn.

Amy and Tyler giggled a little, Mark staring at him, completely confused “Ethan, you’re not wearing a bra” Mark laughed.

Ethan blinked, looking shocked “Popcorn titties! Where’s my bra?” He nearly screamed, reaching under his shirt before laughing.

Amy was a snorting mess, her shrieking noises mixed with Tyler’s horse laugh and Kathryn’s high pitched giggling. Mark was laughing that deep angelic noise that Ethan loved. Ethan stopped to think of what he even said before shaking his head.

The laughing died down a few minutes after, the simple mentions of ‘Popcorn Titties’ making the small group giggle before going back to the movie. Almost halfway through, the movie when Quasimodo was confronting the other guy that Mark couldn’t remember the name of, Ethan had fallen asleep against Mark’s collarbone, his breath lightly grazing Mark’s skin.

Mark smiled, leaning his head over a small bit to kiss his head, turning the volume on the movie down just a few notches. Amy noticed and turned around, curious to only get her answers once she saw Ethan, sleeping in a slightly strange position with his arm in Mark’s lap. But mark wouldn’t be happier with the positions.

He slowly took of Ethan’s glasses, laying them on the chair of the couch. He very slowly moved his arm from behind him, quickly putting it back before Ethan woke up, Ethan shifting closer to Mark. Mark smiled still, letting him snuggle closer.

Mark lightly kicked his foot on Tyler’s back, barely able to reach Amy’s back after. He paused the movie and lowered his voice “Kathryn, you listening too?” Kathryn looked up, Amy and Tyler turning around on the floor “Alright... So I was thinking. Ethan has cataracts, right?”

“Yeah” Kathryn nodded, Amy and Tyler nodding as Mark continued. 

“Well... Because they can be removed, I was going to ask if I could get some help. I hate asking for money, but I’d love for Ethan to see again” Mark whispered extra carefully, making for sure that Ethan was dead asleep.

“Don’t worry, he’s a heavy sleeper when he’s tired... So always” Kathryn smiled, everyone giggling lightly before Amy shushed them all, raising herself to sit on her legs.

“Mark, we love you, and you obviously love Ethan” Amy whispered “I’m willing to give as much as you’ll let me”

“I promise I’ll pay you all back, I just want it done as soon as possible”

“Mark, there’s no need. You’ve done so much for us, let us do something you want” Amy smiled.

Kathryn nodded, putting a hand on his shoulder “Even if you tried to pay me back, I’d hand you the money right back and refuse it”

“Yeah, we obviously see that it’s for a good cause” Tyler gestured “And it’s something you’re passionate about” Tyler winked, smiling at him.

Mark smiled and laughed lightly “I don’t know what to say, guys... Just. Thank you... All so much” He whispered, mumbling into Ethan’s hair.

“You don’t have to say anything, just watch the movie and relax” Amy patted his knee, turning back to the movie, taking the remote from Mark to unpause it. He was about to open his mouth before Ethan mumbled in his sleep, his arm coming up to hug himself, curling more into Mark’s side. He was so small and fragile. Childish. And adorable. Mark raised his hand, lightly brushing his bangs out of his face to kiss his forehead before Mark went back to see the movie.

It was another forty minutes of laughing and joking before the movie finally ended, Tyler taking the bowls and unfinished popcorn to the kitchen, a problem for him in the morning. Chica stood from where she laid by Amy, following Tyler around.

Mark yawned quietly, noticing Kathryn already asleep in the chair and Amy nearly dozing off on the floor. Tyler came back and looked at Amy, whose eyes were already closed. Tyler smiled at her, putting a finger to his mouth before whispering “I’ll wait until she’s asleep to take her home” He whispered.

Mark smiled “They can sleep here, Amy can have the bed, or you can, whoever. It’ll just be easier for you guys” Mark yawned, trying to move Ethan before stopping as he whined, “I can’t move so you can you..” Mark mumbled, smiling innocently.

Tyler laughed and picked up Amy, carefully and quietly before walking down the hallway into Mark’s bedroom. Mark looked down at Ethan, brushing the bangs out his eyes again. He smiled, his hair moving right back into place. He sat up, slowly, picking Ethan up instead, him still being tucked under Mark’s arm, clinging to his shirt. Mark laid down on the couch with Ethan tucked between his side and the side of the couch. 

Mark knew he was so tiny. Maybe one day he could actually see how small he was. Mark could only dream of the day for now.

The next morning, Tyler was the first one to wake up. Then Kathryn with a neck pain, so the morning was great. Tyler noticed her while making coffee. He smiled, offering a cup before Amy woke up, walking in, her hair an absolute mess. Tyler smiled, offering the same, Amy declining shyly, stealing some of Ethan’s tea instead.

Amy went and sat on the floor in front of the couch, smiling at Mark “Aren’t they the cutest?” Amy whispered.

Kathryn smiled, giggling a little “Ethan’s hair is just as messed up as yours” She snorted, covering her mouth to not wake Ethan. He was the strangest person, a heavy sleeper at night, but a light sleeper when he first goes to sleep or near morning.

She watched his head move further into Mark’s side, not even aware if he could go any further down before his eyes fluttered open and he was awake. He yawned and stretched, feeling his surroundings a little before remembering what happened last night. Movie. Popcorn. Fell asleep on the couch. Ethan moved his hand up Mark’s chest to his neck and to his face, smiling before laying his head back on Mark’s chest, listening to the light thumping of his heartbeat.

“Good morning sleepy head” Amy whispered, smiling brightly at him, raising her hand to brush her fingers lightly through Ethan’s mess of hair. He didn’t flinch at all which was a little surprising for Amy. She smiled, petting his head this time. She understood why Mark would always rant about how much he loved it when Ethan was sleepy now. He wasn’t anxious, wasn’t scared of the world. He wasn’t shy or loud, gentle and quiet at most times.

“Good morning Amy” Ethan whispered, a shy smile shining across his face, closing his eyes tightly “Do you know where my glasses are?” he mumbled, his voice shy and quiet.

Amy hummed and looked around for a second before finding them on the floor by the couch, taking Ethan’s hand to put them in his palm “Here you go”

“Thanks” He sat up a little, one leg on Mark’s left side, the other on his right, his legs straddling Mark’s waist. He took them in both hands to put them on, opening his eyes only once they were fit perfectly on his face.

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you always wear your glasses?”

Ethan stiffened a little, a noise catching in his throat. He assumed Amy had a guilty expression so he smiled and forcefully loosened himself up, shaking his head “Not always... But it’s a little uh... Disturbing to see someone’s eye engulfed in a white cloud” he whispered, his fists balling up in Mark’s shirt. He felt his eyes growing warm but refused to cry.

“Oh,” Amy mumbled, looking at the ground instead “Well... I wouldn’t mind it, I’m your friend after all. I’d never judge you for who you are” Amy smiled, looking up to see Ethan’s confused face, tears slipping from under his glasses before he reached up, wiping them away.

Ethan then smiled, hoping Amy hadn’t seen him before laughing a little “I know” As calm and composed as he looked, his voice still wavered, wobbling and bending “I appreciate it” he nearly sobbed at the end, covering it up with a laugh.

Amy felt his chest tighten. If she didn’t know better, her heart would’ve just broke “Oh Ethan” She mumbled, standing up to hug him tightly “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Sh” He quietly hushed her, slowly hugging her back “You didn’t do anything” He lowered his head onto her shoulder, squeezing her a little “I just.. I’ve never had someone besides Mark or my family and Kathryn tell me that” He whispered, trying not to wake Mark. It didn’t succeed for long before another pair of arms were around Ethan’s waist and a light force on the back of Ethan’s shoulder. Ethan frowned, guessing it was Mark’s head.

“Why are we all crying?” Mark whispered, breaking Ethan into snorting laughter with Amy’s loud giggles. Mark laughed a little himself before sitting up and pulling away, Amy pulling back while Ethan let go “Really though, can I get an answer? I just woke up to you guys crying and I’m really concerned”

Ethan smiled, reaching up to take his glasses off before pausing. He knew Amy didn’t care but did she really? Maybe she would have a face of disgust or never want to be around Ethan, or Mark ever again and then Mark would break up with him and he’d only have Kathryn again. Ethan shook his head, thinking about it. Taking glasses off, to being single? Unlikely. Ethan took a deep breath and kept his eyes open this time when he took his glasses off. He felt a little anxious when Amy gasped before wiping his eyes of tears.

“Amy was just… being a supportive friend” Ethan smiled, rubbing his other eye with his sleeve “She’s just like you, Mark!” Ethan laughed, folding his glasses up.

Mark smiled, glancing at Amy, watching her shrug before looking back at Ethan “I’m glad you’re getting along” Mark mumbled “Don’t be leaving me for now, okay? Because I think I’d be crushed if you did” Mark and Amy laughed a little, Ethan sighing dramatically.

“Fiiiiiine... But only because I like you more” Ethan laughed, finding Mark’s forehead to put their heads against each other. Mark laughed a little, leaning forward to lightly peck his lips before pulling away “Ah- Oh..” Ethan laughed, his face growing red “Ahh, I love you but jeez, In front of everyone?” Ethan mumbled, “I know you wanted to go public but I didn’t realize you were so eager!” Ethan laughed.

“I’m only eager for one thing, and that something isn’t something you get to know about just yet” Mark knew Ethan would curious once he opened his big mouth but he couldn’t help it. Once it was out it was just there.

“One thing? Wait- Hey c’mon, how come I don’t get to know?!” Ethan whined, pouting his lip out as he pulled away from Mark “It’s not fair, you probably told Amy or Tyler already!” Tyler perked up at his name before going back to his conversation with Kathryn in the kitchen.

Mark sighed and glanced at Amy. She shrugged before looking at Ethan and back at Mark, nodding. Mark sighed louder this time, almost like a groan “Well... It was supposed to be when we had enough money but..” Mark felt Ethan stiffen on his lap before Mark continued ”But... I asked the gang to gather up as much money as we could save up for... Your eye surgery” Ethan opened his mouth, Mark cutting him off “I-I know, it was never a... Subject that came up, and I know you never talked about… purely wanting to see, or well, it wasn’t the clearest. But.. we decided to save up for your surgery- That, That is if you want it because... Maybe you want to stay blind, I wouldn’t be offended, It’s your choice but... The offer is on the table” Mark finished, watching Ethan’s hands come over his mouth as tears streamed down his face.

He sobbed into his hands before finding Mark’s shoulders, pulling him in tightly to hug him as tight as he could “M-Mark..” He sobbed, sniffling into his shoulder “I.. I don’t know what to say! I.. I’d love to- to, to see you and.. I want to see my parents... And the world- a-and Chica!” Ethan laughed, burying his face to cry.

Mark held his waist tightly, rubbing his back “It’s okay... It’s okay” He whispered “You’ll see me soon” Mark mumbled, smirking to himself, half hoping Ethan didn’t hear, the other half wanting to hear Ethan’s beautiful laugh.

Ethan did laugh, mixed with a sobbing sound. It hadn’t been for Mark knowing Ethan was happy, the sound would’ve broken his heart “I hate you” Ethan muttered, holding Mark’s head closer, his hand playing with the hairs on the back of Mark’s neck “But I love you... So much”

“..I love you too… clingy koala” Mark mumbled.

“What on earth is a koala?” Ethan snorted.

“...I guess you’ll just have to wait and see”


	6. Chapter 6

Ethan opened his eyes to pretend peer at Mark even though he couldn’t see him. They sat on the couch, Mark had an arm around Ethan, pulling him closer. Ethan noticed at some point, finally giving up to sit next to mark, leaning back into his arm.

“Do you think we could go to the ocean again soon?” Ethan mumbled, closing his eyes against mark’s arm. 

Mark looked down at Ethan’s fidgeting hands and thought about his eye surgery. He’d told Ethan four months ago, setting them at dating for seven months. It around June now, and Mark wasn’t going to let a summer beach trip go “Definitely” Mark smiled, rubbing Ethan’s shoulder.

“Hm..” Ethan hummed “Hey, You know how you told me about colors?” Ethan mumbled.

“Uh.. Yeah?” Mark looked down at Ethan. He leaned up from Mark’s shoulder and stared at his hands now. Confused or shy.

“Well.. what’s happiness like?” Ethan whispered, biting his thumbnail.

Mark gently took his hand away, thinking about it “Happiness? It’s.. huh… I guess it’s that warm and bubbly feeling you get. You’re on top of the world and no one can drag you down, people can say anything to you and you’ll rise above it and.. I guess happiness is when you don’t want anything else in life because what you have makes you happy” Mark intertwined their fingers, smiling to himself 

“Well, I’m happy” Ethan mumbled, pulling his knees up closer to cuddle back into Mark’s chest.

“..You make me realize things in life I never would’ve” Mark whispered, absentmindedly.

“Like what?” Ethan mumbled back, his smile fading a little.

“Like how happy I am, but you.. You’re different. You say you’re happy, but you’re blind. You want to see, seeing will make you happy and not to mention you’re so far from home. Your life is.. Not happy”

“Whoever said seeing will making me happy?” Ethan laughed.

“I thought you wanted to see” Mark paused, looking at Ethan.

“I do, but it doesn’t matter. I’d still be happy even if I were stuck being blind forever. As for home, I love my family but... This is home, with you. And I might be blind... But I don’t need to see to know that I love you and that I’m happy. I love my life..” Ethan smiled again, closing his eyes on Mark’s chest. 

“I love it too” Mark smiled, trying his hardest not to cry.

“Hey, ” Ethan mumbled again.

“Oh no,” Mark whispered, clearing his throat “I mean- Yes?” He smiled at Ethan laughed and watched Ethan sit up to stare in the direction of Mark, which wasn’t too far from where he really was.

“If happiness is not wanting anything else then.. What’s love like?”

Mark stopped and thought about it. He thought about a lot of things that Ethan said, but this one really hit home for him “Well.. You think about it” Mark didn’t know where he was going with this, but it was somewhere “You stare at them longer, or I guess in your case you think of them more- But uh… You want to talk to them. You talk to them the chances you get and even try to make free time to learn more about them. You’re genuinely interested in what they have to say. You want more of them, You don’t want sex from them, you just want them to hug you and talk to you. You still talk to them even if they hurt you or even hit you.. You’re too far in and you have to stop and think ‘Do I love them?’ and ‘Is it worth it?’ and.. If you don’t even have to think about it then that’s love. You’re willing to be with them no matter what because you can’t bear to part with them”

Ethan sat, his eyes wide and glass-like. Mark wanted to wrap an arm around him, not daring to touch the fragile boy. One touch could break the whole thing.

“It’s love the second you realize your heart hurts and it feels like it’s breaking and tightening in your chest and you can’t breathe and you’re panicked and you want to get out and leave, never look back or turn around and… then you see them. And… You stop. You stop everything for them. And do anything and everything you can, and it hurts. Knowing you’re so vulnerable to be hurt but you don’t care. It’s when you don’t care if you get hurt or not you’re in love” 

Mark looked down at Ethan’s wide-eyed and terrified look before grimacing. Maybe he went a little too far.

“Or well- Just in my opinion... And- uh.. Experiences and all that but uh.. Yeah”

Ethan swallowed, slowly blinking before relaxing a little bit “..Are you in love?” His voice was so quiet Mark wasn’t sure if he said anything in the first place but he knew. He hated this question.

“...Yes” Mark glanced at the pile of dollars on the counter. It was nearly eight thousand dollars. Mark had done his research, it was roughly three thousand for just one eye and three hundred some more dollars for advanced surgery. Of course, Mark had to have the best for Ethan.

“You mean I could do anything and you wouldn’t care?” Ethan muttered, surprised like a small child who’s sharing secrets at an elementary sleepover. He had a curious smile on his lips before covering it with a hand.

“Well..” Mark reached over to take the folded money in his hand before leaning back. Ethan must’ve noticed he moved by the way he leaned back, afraid of what mark was reaching for “Relax, I’m going to show you how much I love you”

“That’s why I’m scared!” Ethan laughed, taking his hands away to hold against his chest.

Mark laughed, using his free hand to take Ethan’s hand in his. Ethan was hesitant at first before opening his palm. Mark knew his words hit Ethan. Ethan trusted Mark. Love involved trust. Ethan loved Mark. Mark smiled at that, humming to himself before putting the money in his hand, Ethan’s face contouring to complete confusion.

“At least it’s not a human heart” Ethan mumbled, feeling the money before finding the crease and unfolding it, moving it around “Wait is this money?” Ethan gasped, feeling how thick it is “Whoa- This is.. What is all this? What are planning on doing?” Ethan suddenly got worried, his hands shaking a little.

“Hey, calm down” Mark whispered, pulling Ethan closer to his chest “It’s yours..”

“It’s… It’s mine?” Ethan mumbled, confused as he felt to the edge of the money, his eyes widening in disbelief “You didn’t- You didn’t actually get the money for my surgery..”

“It took a few months for everyone to, but..” Mark breathed, holding the back of Ethan’s head “You will see. I promise..”

Ethan paused to take in all that just happened. The love of his life, Mark himself was granting Ethan something he had wanted for so long, but his family or friends could ever give. Sight. His parents tried their best but needed the money. Ethan understood that much, so he told himself it was okay to be different. Ethan breathed this time, holding back his tears. Mark was going to let him see. Mark wasn’t making him see. Mark was letting him choose to see.

“I know you never gave us a direct answer but the option still stands..” Mark finished quickly, his voice giving away the tears he was shedding.

Ethan couldn’t be any more thankful for this. An absolute gorgeous lover. Someone who gave him chances and opportunities even when he did nothing to deserve them but be himself “You have the biggest heart Mark” Ethan whispered into his shoulder, holding it tightly as he cried “I don’t know what on earth I’ve done to deserve someone like you..”

“Will all respect, your life sucks” Mark deadpanned.

Ethan snorted at his answer, wiping his tears away as Mark pulled away “It’s not so bad anymore!” He giggled “It might’ve been hell in high school, but it’s better now. My parents are fine, I have friends.. And you” Ethan smiled, feeling for Mark’s face with his free hand to kiss him.

Mark held onto Ethan’s waist to hold him up “Yeah.. It’s the best it could be, but.. I don’t know, I know how you are. You’re so shy and anxious and you just deserve to be happy and not worry for once” 

“Is that what this is about?” Ethan frowned, rubbing his thumb across Mark’s cheek “Mark, I said I was happy.. Blind or not, Anxious or relaxed as long as I’m here” Ethan smiled in the direction he was hoping was Mark’s eyes.

Mark smiled, Ethan feeling his lips curl upwards. For a brief second, Mark could see a blue behind the cloud of white. Mark gasped in shock a little, sending Ethan’s face in panic “No, hold still” He whispered, leaning closer to Ethan’s face “Keep your eyes open” Ethan complied, confused, widening his eyes anyways. Mark was right, there was some sort of green or blue under the cloud. Mark smiled a little “Your eyes are blue” Mark smirked a little, Ethan’s fingers curling in on Mark’s face.

“I-I- But..” Ethan stuttered, not comprehending this information “How do you know? All you can see is white!” Ethan frowned, shifting his face down.

“You can see white… But I can see underneath it, just barely. But it’s a blue or green color underneath it” Mark reached his hand up to cup Ethan’s face “It’s your favorite color” He smiled.

“..Mark”

“Yeah?”

“....Can I see them?”

“..Let’s go”

Ethan smiled, standing up and putting the money down on the couch to only grab Mark’s cheeks, kissing his nose “I’m excited..” He tilted his head a little “Aren’t you?”

Mark held his wrists as he stood up, pleased with just those few inches of being taller between them. Mark smiled, moving his hands to Ethan’s waist “So excited”

“Very blind” Etham whispered, sending Mark into a fit of laughter.

It went as planned. Ethan went in holding Mark’s hand, eventually having to leave to be alone. He wasn't at first but once he was forced to leave Mark and hold onto strangers he felt panicked. He heard so many machines and people talking, he could’ve sworn he heard screams which.. He figured was normal for a hospital. It might’ve been normal but he wasn’t used to it. He flinched and jumped and screamed quietly.

He didn’t know how much time had passed except for when someone asked for his name, he nodded, still gripping the sweetest nurse’s sleeve. He stayed calm enough, doing as he was ordered. He had to lay down on a hospital bed. He thought. Maybe it wasn’t, he was too scared to ask. He couldn’t get a sense of reality right there. He had been in many hospitals as a kid and had checkups every few months, but this was different. They were just going to.. Stab around in his eye and change it forever?

Ethan couldn’t believe it. He whined a little once he was laying and palmed around for the railing on the bed, gripping it tightly. It was cold and chill against his warm and anxious hands. He frowned, unable to keep his composure. He opened his mouth just barely before closing it. He wanted to ask for Mark, he wanted him there. He wanted to hold his hand and go through this like a small child. It basically would be. Like a small child learning to walk. He’d have to keep his steps small and make limits.

He opened his mouth, closing his eyes. He bit at his fingernail, terrified of the worst. Deep breath “Um.. A-are other people allowed to be in here? Who aren’t patients i mean, I’m just.. Uh..” Ethan trailed off, not even knowing if someone was listening.

The quiet nurse’s voice from before was replaced with a kind male voice “Well, we don’t usually let other people in while we’re operating because they can be distracting or cause casualties.. But on rare occasions with small children we allow it”

“What about a twenty-two year old?” Ethan chuckled lightly.

“Hmm... I think we can allow it” Ethan felt relieved and in mere minutes when there was a hand in his.

“Couldn’t go twenty minutes without me?” Mark smiled, rubbing Ethan’s hand with his thumb.

“Mark they’re stabbing my eyeball”

“Ohhh.. Yeah I noticed that while doing research…..”

“I was told from a young age that it’d happen eventually if I ever decided to get it. Probably a big part of why I never did” Ethan mumbled, flinching when the doctor touched Ethan’s cheek. He took it as a sign to stay quiet. Ethan tried to not worry, gripping Mark’s hand tightly before something cold was under his eyelid and he felt more than just slightly panicked at this point.

“Shh,” Mark whispered, stroking Ethan’s hand “You’re doing okay” He whispered again, staying more quiet than usual. Way quieter than Ethan has ever heard him. But it calmed him. His muscles relaxed as his eye was pried open. Mark looked away, looking down at Ethan’s hand instead. 

Ethan felt something cold in his eye before they felt numb. He relaxed though, trying to stay calm and to not blink. He gripped Mark’s hand a little before feeling a hand on his face. The strange feeling of the rubber glove on his face made him feel slightly unsteady before the scalpel was in his eye. Ethan couldn’t feel it or see it but he knew it was there. He stayed calm though. It wasn’t.. As bad as he thought it would be.

He smiled, lightly drumming his fingers on Mark’s hand instead. He took a breath, waiting the minutes out. In the meantime, he imagined Mark’s face. Mark told him his hair was black before. Black was the color when he closed his eyes. So it was dark? Yeah, midnight and cologne. Mark’s hair was midnight. His eyes were brown, whatever color that was. He had scruff most of the time, or the few times he grew out his beard it was black too. Mark told him he had small eyes and wore glasses sometimes. His hair was curly and Ethan smiled at the thought of finally being able to see what he looked like. What Kathryn looked like, and Tyler and Amy. Oh, how he couldn't wait to see his parents or Chica or his brother. 

As soon as it ended, Ethan felt the thing come from his eye and he was blinking rapidly, his vision still white. He waited a few seconds before he was sat up, looking around. He flinched, feeling someone hold his face again. He knew it wasn’t Mark’s by the gross elastic texture. He still saw white but he could see a light being shown in his face before someone sighed contently “It’ll take about ten minutes before your vision will clear up, but you’re all set to go” The doctor’s kind tone echoed a little in the air before he was getting off the bed, holding onto Mark’s hand.

He zoned out again, standing while holding Mark’s hand before just the smallest ring of color and shapes were clear for him to see. His eyes widened more, trying to take in as much as he could. His hand gripped Mark’s a little tighter. He looked around, actually able to see some of the things around him. Although he couldn’t make out things in front of him, he could make out the things around him, the few feet from him. Ethan reached out to touch the wall as they walked.

Mark lightly chuckled “What are you doing?” He turned the corner, Ethan flinching before following him before pulling his hand back down.

“I’m feeling the wall, Mark” Ethan said as if it were obvious. He didn’t know what color it was, green he though? (Gray) Maybe it was purple. He tilted his head a little trying to see the edge of Mark’s face.

“You’re gonna sit here for a minute while I go get everyone okay?” Mark mumbled, putting Ethan’s hand on the hospital bed.

“More beds?” He groaned before smiling and climbing on it, crossing his legs “Alright.. I’m so excited” Ethan mumbled, already just barely seeing more of his surroundings.

“I am too, I’m gonna be right back, alright?” Mark kissed his forehead before stepping away. Ethan felt like a small child around Mark’s confident and assertive counterpart. That was strange to think about. He shook his head, his eyes slightly and slowly adjusting. His head slowly turned around the room, looking around, just small clouds in front of him now.

He covered his mouth a little before dragging it to his chest, looking around, blinking away the few clouds in front of his eyes. His eyes were wide as he looked around. He saw sunlight pouring in through the windows, wondering how they were see through if they were made of sand. He learned that in earth science around seventh grade.

He wanted to get up and look outside. He saw what he figured was a tree branch move, with leaves on it. He took a breath, trying to process everything. He swallowed, his hands tightening into fists in the sheets underneath him. He looked down and noticed the white sheets. Definitely white. He grimaced at the color white, finding a silent hatred for it. Mark made it sound so beautiful, so unique and amazing. White. Pure. Protect it. Ethan shook his head.

He closed his eyes, holding them shut. It was black, he knew that much. The two colors he had to get used to. Black and white. But life wasn’t black and white anymore. It was colorful and sweet. With posters and all sorts of things around the hospital room. He looked at his hands, seeing the little bits of blood and pink scars around his fingers. He smiled, knowing this color was red. It was red, and red was Mark’s favorite color.

He looked down at his shirt, not knowing the color. He tried to think before recognizing the color black. It was black.. And something similar to black. He tried to remember what color was similar to black. Or was it black? Were there two shades of black? No.. Were there? Ethan shook his head, looking at his shoes. He didn’t know what colors they were, but he knew they weren’t the same.

His head shot up when an unfamiliar face came in, followed by three more smiling faces. His eyes suddenly wide with fear of not knowing anyone. He couldn’t tell the difference between Tyler and Mark or Amy and Kathryn. He started shaking a little before looking at all four of them.

“Uh-hm… W-... Which.. One of you is Mark?” Ethan’s voice was shy and he could feel his face growing the color red. He saw the shorter man smile and the shorter girl started giggling. He couldn’t tell the difference between their voices or laughs just yet, but he was thinking it was Kathryn? He frowned, feeling a little vulnerable. 

“That..” Mark stepped forward, his voice calm and rich to Ethan’s ears “Would be me” Mark smiled. Ethan stared in awe at Mark’s face. His black hair, the little curl that was in the front of his face. He had a little scruff, and gorgeous eyes. Ethan’s hands came up to cover his mouth. Mark was.. Gorgeous. He had a fine jawline and a well-built body. His eyes were a gorgeous color of brown, some other color (orange?) in it. His vision went blurry for a second before panic hit him. He shook his head, his vision clearing before he started crying. Oh. Ethan was not used to this at all.

He took a deep breath, staring back at Mark’s smile. A gorgeous smile that twitched. And moved sideways to show a dimple. Ethan whined a little, taking a hand away from his mouth “Mark you’re..” He whispered, his voice surprising him somehow. He rubbed his eyes still unable to feel his face properly again before he opened his mouth, unable to speak. He rubbed his eyes of tears, opening his arms, gesturing for Mark to hug him. Mark happily complied, hugging him tightly.

Ethan hugged him in a rather awkward position but for right now he would live with it. It felt nice. To know what he looks like, to see the face behind the voice. Ethan had no idea he wanted this for so long. He was happy before, but now he was.. Ecstatic. He never thought he’d get to see anyone so beautiful before and here he was, literally eye to eye with Mark.

Ethan loosened his grip, pulling away to hold Mark’s face. He nearly broke down again when Mark smiled at him and he longed for that smile. He missed every second of his life could be with Mark’s smile. His shiny and pointy teeth, his cute curled nose. Ethan remembers vaguely a conversation about Mark telling him about how he was part Korean. Ethan smiled at that thought, liking his rounded nose. His fingers found themselves feeling Mark’s face, rubbing his cheeks, pulling his ears lightly and rubbing his nose. It looked so weird to everyone else but Ethan loved finally seeing him.

He took the leap and smiled widely at Mark, wiping his tears away “You’re so beautiful..” Ethan mumbled “I never thought I’d ever get to see someone.. So gorgeous as you” He whispered, hugging Mark’s neck again before looking around “I shouldn’t have needed to see to realize that, but my god you’re so beautiful” Ethan mumbled into Mark’s ear, rubbing at his teary eyes.

Mark chuckled, pulling away unfazed “I’m glad to see you’re enjoying this” Mark smiled at him, jolting a little “Oh- Ethan, This one’s Tyler” Mark pointed to a really tall, curly-haired man by the window as he waved. Ethan lightly waved back, a smile on his face “The blonde one is Amy” He pointed to the shorter of the two girls with yellow? Orange? Hair. She smiled, waving at him excitedly “And this one’s Kathryn” He pointed to the girl, a little taller than Amy with brown hair.

“Kat?!” Ethan grinned excitedly. She laughed, walking up to him to hug him. He immediately hugged her back, holding her tightly “You look beautiful too, oh my god” Ethan mumbled, playing with her hair, actually able to see it this time.

“Aw, Ethan you should see yourself” She giggled, pulling away from him.

He blinked. It hadn’t occurred to him that he never realized what he looked like. It was going to be so weird and strange to see him. Himself staring back at him. He shook his head “I-I don’t think I want to” He mumbled, smiling awkwardly “I think I need to take in what I have for now and.. Then see myself. I’m not.. Ready to see me” Ethan mumbled, chewing on his shirt sleeve.

“We understand” Tyler cut in “It’s a lot to process.. I mean, One day you can’t see anything and the next you know what the color blue is” Tyler laughed.

“Oh!” Ethan pulled on Mark’s shirt “Mark, What’s the color blue?”

Mark looked around before looking at Ethan’s yellow and blue shoes “That one” Mark pointed to Ethan’s left blue shoe “That’s the color blue”

Ethan blinked, staring at his shoe.

“Great, we broke him with a shoe” Kathryn muttered, sending Amy and Mark into a fit of laughter. Ethan’s face felt hot again before he shook his head.

“Well excuse me for never seeing a fucking shoe before” Ethan countered, laughing with everyone this time.

“Wait..” Ethan paused staring at his blue skinny jeans “If my shoe is blue, then what’s this color?” He poked his thigh, looking up at Mark for reassurance.

“That’s also blue”

“There’s more than one color blue?!” Ethan gasped, genuinely surprised as if he were a small child. He blinked, trying to process all of it “I think I might die of brain-overload” he murmured, staring at his shoes, lightly wiggling his toes.

Mark laughed and sat down in the chair. Minutes passed with them talking about colors and telling Ethan what things were and googling so many pictures. So.. So many pictures and colors and hair colors and styles and words. Ethan was excited to learn before he got scared again when the doctor came in to check on him.

He held onto Mark’s hand as the doctor talked about recovery time and how sensitive Ethan could be to bright light so it’d be best to still stick with sunglasses. Ethan smiled, already having them handy as he put them on “Whoa” Ethan stopped, raising the glasses a little “Everything got dark” He blinked, putting the glasses back on before looking around.

Mark laughed, even the doctor chuckled “That’s what they’re for, Ethan. Blocking light and helping to keep your eyes a little more protected from harmful lights” Mark pointed to the light above, Ethan being curious to look up before Mark grabbed his head “Don’t- That’ll hurt your eyes” Mark smiled.

Ethan nodded, climbing off the bed. He looked at his feet, looking back up at Mark as if to ask permission to even walk. He swallowed, moving his leg, watching it. It was so weird to finally see his leg. They were so skinny? He slid his foot forward on the ground, not trusting it enough to lift it and risk the chance of falling. He stood with his legs about a foot apart before sliding his other leg closer.

“Why is walking so hard?!” Ethan groaned in frustration, whining by the time he finished his sentence. Mark smiled, lightly chuckling before offering his hands. Ethan smiled, gladly taking them to hold on tightly as he slid across the floor.

“You can’t slide your whole life, Ethan” Mark mumbled, Ethan’s gaze drifting to Mark’s eyes. His face scared him a little before remembering this was permanent and he could see. See Mark. See dogs and his family. He took a breath, wishing to see his parents. Mark and Annie. He always smiled at the name Mark now. It was his middle name, his dad and boyfriend’s name. Ethan chuckled lightly at his thought, taking an actual step and nearly falling over before stopping.

“I don’t think I like walking anymore” he mumbled, staring at his legs.

Mark laughed, tapping his hand “Look at me then, It’s not so bad if you can’t see your legs” And so Ethan did. He looked up at Mark, his face. His eyes. He wasn’t quite used to it yet, he never thought he would be. It was amazing and sad at the same time. It was irreversible, but Ethan didn’t think he wanted it to be undone. He wanted to see and keep it this way.

He took a step, Mark pulling him just barely. Ethan walked the short steps before laughing “Oh my god this is the weirdest thing I’ve ever done” Ethan mumbled, looking at his legs.

“You stayed up until three in the morning, talking to Chica about your issues before” Tyler interrupted.

“You got on top of the fridge when I told you, you couldn’t have another dog” Kathryn grinned.

“You played Just Dance in a crop top” Amy smirked.

“I didn’t ask for your input!” Ethan hissed, having a joking tone to it. He laughed at the past, thinking back to how silly he had been.

After some short steps to the hallway, Ethan was sent home just fine. It should’ve been more complicated, but it wasn’t. It was simple. A life-changing event in just under an hour. Ethan couldn’t believe his eyes. Literally.. Maybe it was some sort of dream he’d wake from one day. The terrified him a little. Ethan walked down the hallway, holding Mark’s arm as he watched his feet move. It was easier once he remembered how to walk. He looked at all the posters and signs. And exit sign a bright color that hurt his eyes. He blinked, squinting at it before looking away at Mark’s shoes, then his own, and the ceiling.

Then it was outside. Ethan flinched when the doors opened. He leaned back into Mark’s arm, shivering at the strange surroundings “Relax, It’s the outside” Mark smiled, gesturing to the grass “That’s the grass we laid on.. It’s the color green” Ethan blinked, holing Mark’s arm a little tighter.

“Show me everything” Ethan whispered, his fingers digging into the fabric, avoiding Mark’s skin.

Mark smiled, putting his free hand in his pocket “Alright” Mark looked down at Ethan’s wide smile and couldn’t help but feel bubbly.

And so they walked. Mark, Ethan, Amy, Kathryn, and Tyler all walking down the sidewalk to the pier. Ethan looked around and flinched at a pigeon on the ground. He watched it for a second before walking after it, jumping when it flew off. He wasn’t used to sudden movements as much as sounds. He followed another one, pointing at it “Mark! Is this a bird?”

Mark laughed, quickly putting his phone away “Um- Yes. A pigeon” Mark slowly took his phone out again, taking more pictures of his idiot boyfriend chasing a pigeon.

Ethan laughed, crouching by the bird, reaching out to touch it before it flew off. He pouted a little before standing back up and counted walking down the sidewalk. His legs were a little wobbly ever time he looked down, but he got the hang of it when he wasn’t paying attention. He looked at buildings and at birds flying overhead and smiled. Amy and Tyler eventually had to leave for night shifts and Tyler decided to get home early. With a farewell hug from Tyler, Ethan went straight for Mark’s hand and looked at them. His hands a little pale and small in Mark’s tan hands. He smiled at it, looking back up to look around.

“Ethan, look at that” Mark pointed forward a little, nudging his shoulder.

“Mark I can’t- Wait I can look now!” Ethan looked up where Mark was pointing at the beach and gasped “Whoa” He mumbled. Mark smiled, watching Ethan’s ocean blue eyes widen. 

Mark was still proud of himself for finding out his eye color. Although now that he was looking at it, they looked to be green. Mark shrugged, knowing how eye colors changed randomly. But he could’ve sworn they were blue, a bright blue before. He shrugged it off, looking at the sky. It was already getting dark, the sunset behind a building they were coming up on.

“Come here” Mark stopped and took Ethan’s hands “Close your eyes”

“What? Mark..”

“Just. Please?” Mark pouted and Ethan’s heart melted at the unfamiliar sight.

“Alright… but you know how I am about not being able to see. I wanted to see things, not walk around being blind again” Ethan sighed and closed his eyes, letting Mark walk him in the view of the sunset.

“Keep your eyes closed” Mark ordered again, taking him to the bench where they had their shoes the first time they came to the beach “Careful” Mark smiled, helping him to stand on the bench “Hold still” Mark climbed off for a second to stand behind him on the bench, covering his eyes with his hands “You ready?”

“Ready for what?” Ethan sighed, reaching his hands up to Mark’s hands, gripping his wrists.

“Open your eyes” Mark whispered from behind him before pulling his hands away. Ethan gasped and let go of Mark’s wrists, covering his mouth instead. He wrapped his arms around Ethan’s waist, pulling him closer.

“Oh my god” He mumbled “That’s a sunset right? My mom always told me they were beautiful” Ethan laughed a little, rubbing his eyes “I think I’m gonna cry” He laughed.

“Nooo, Don’t cry” Mark smiled, laying his chin on Ethan’s shoulder “I’m glad you like it” Mark glanced at Ethan, winking at him.

“I love it” Ethan laughed, his gaze finding the ocean “Mark- ..”

“It’s the color blue” Mark whispered, letting go of Ethan.

Ethan blinked, staring at the ocean, smelling it. It was blue. It smelled like sea salt and the waves sounded just like before. He bent down to sit on the bench, already taking his shoes off to roll up his jeans. Mark laughed, following his lead more slowly. Mark was still rolling up his jeans when Ethan shot up, walking in the sand before gasping “Mark it’s still soft!” He laughed, running around in the sand, kicking up sand and nearly falling over before catching himself. 

Mark watch Ethan run around and dance in the dance, never missing an opportunity for pictures. He decided the picture of Ethan kicking sand high in the air was his favorite. New phone lock screen. He smiled, leaving his phone and shoes on the bench before getting up.

“Be careful” Mark laughed, coming after him, running around in the sand. Ethan ran to the ocean line, stopping right before the wet water, Mark coming up next to him slowly “It’s new huh?”

“It’s blue” Ethan looked down at the wet sand, stepping on it “Is the ocean blue? Like the color” Ethan pointed out to the water, the water splashing his legs “Oh-” He laughed, pulling his jeans up a little further.

“Yeah, it’s the color blue” Mark smiled. He pulled some of his hair up, pointing to it “This is black”

“I remember black” Ethan grinned, looking at the water, crouching down to feel around in the sand “And white.. And you told me what yellow was I think” Ethan tried to remember, giving up eventually as he picked up a small rock, throwing it in the water to watch it make contact. He smiled, wiping his hands on his shirt.

“You know red?”

“Uh..” Ethan raised his hands, finding a finger with dried blood “This color, right?”

“Yeah” Mark smiled, putting a hand on his hip as he looked out at the ocean “And that color setting right now is pink” Mark pointed to the sky, Ethan’s eyes gazing up to the sky. He quickly went back to looking in the water, picking up a blue rock 

He gasped, holding it up “Mark It’s blue!” He stood up, holding it in his hand.

Mark looked at it and smiled “It is, It’s your color” Mark laughed, watching Ethan grin and put it in his pocket. Ethan smiled, taking his hands out of his pockets to grab onto Mark’s arm. They walked and talked lightly, Ethan closing his eyes every now and then to feel the sand. He would always have a surprised look on his face when he opened his eyes though. Then he would grin and look at Mark.

They walked and talked for about an hour before Ethan complained about his feet feeling fuzzy and soar. Mark obviously complied with leaving, only for Ethan to demand to see the stars in the same park from before.

Mark sighed at first before agreeing. So they went. Mark carrying Ethan part way, them both barefoot and walking through the city. Which wasn’t the smartest idea in the first place, but Mark wasn’t going to ruin Ethan’s fun. If he saw glass or gravel he’d pick Ethan up.

He loved watching Ethan observe everything. Lights, cars, the sidewalk, sky, the grass, street signs, bugs flying around and the way trees move. He absolutely adored Ethan’s face when he was excited. His eyes were wide, a grin on his face. Mark thought he liked him before but now Mark absolutely loved Ethan’s smile, his laugh, his blushing face, his childish screams. All of it.

“Where did we lay the first time?” Ethan pointed to the grass “I wanna lay in the same spot” Ethan smiled, looking around. 

Mark remembered exactly where it was, taking Ethan by his hand to go to the exact same spot where Mark had come up to Ethan the first time more than a year ago. He pointed to a spot close to a large tree, sitting Ethan down “Now lay down” Ethan complied, looking up at him. Mark pointed to his side “A little to the left” He smiled, watching Ethan comply “Perfect” Mark followed, laying down at Ethan’s side, holding his arms under his head, looking up at the stars.

Ethan looked up at the stars, watching them. His hands clenched into fists full of grass, his chest falling and rising roughly “...Black and white” He whispered, smiling “It’s.. It’s your space, Mark” Ethan laughed, wiping tears that he refused to let fall. He grinned up at the sky, rolling his head to the side to look at Mark. A smile growing wider on his face “It’s beautiful” He whispered, a tear slipping from his eye to the grass.

Mark stared at him, unable to keep from feeling so much in his heart. His heart ached at the tears, but his heart also swelled with love at seeing Ethan’s eyes. He loved his eyes. Mark was about to open his mouth when he saw something shoot across Ethan’s glossy eye. He panicked momentarily before it came again. A white streak shooting across Ethan’s eye. Ethan’s eyes suddenly shifted upward, his face turning to shock and eyes widening.

Mark slowly looked back up, his mouth dropping open to see meteors flying across the sky. Ethan opened his mouth too, watching the sky “..Is the world ending?” Ethan breathed, Mark suddenly realizing his heavy breathing.

“No, no, It’s just a meteor shower. I promise it’s normal.. Rare and beautiful, but normal” Mark reached a hand down to Ethan’s, slipping his hand between the grass to grip Ethan’s hand tightly “You’re gonna live to see the world” Mark smiled, looking at Ethan. Ethan was looking at the sky, smiling again. He watched the sky move and stars twinkle above them.

“Hey, Mark..” Ethan started, gripping his hand tightly “Where.. Was our first kiss?” His voice was quiet and shy, along with his face red and shy. Mark sat up, looking around before remembering.

“Hold on” Mark leaned back to Ethan’s pulling him over to roll him over. Ethan laughed, rolling around a few times before Mark stopped on top of Ethan, looking around them “One more” He laughed, rolling onto his back with Ethan on his chest now.

Ethan laughed, moving to be more comfortable on his chest, laying his head down “Right here?”

“Right here” Mark smiled, letting his arms fall onto Ethan’s back, wrapping around him lightly.

Ethan smiled and sat up to kiss Mark. They didn’t kiss much, but when they did it was gentle and quick. Ethan pulled away then, staring down at Mark, smiling with blush all across his face.

Mark stopped to take in the scene, of Ethan in all his beauty in front of a meteor shower, neither of them really cared about at the moment. Mark reached into his pocket, raising it to his face, getting Ethan and the shoot stars in the camera. Ethan laughed, blushing a little before smiling down at it. Mark, once done with the photo, put his phone down to kiss Ethan again.

“You’re beautiful” Mark mumbled, putting his phone back into his pocket.

Ethan laughed, shaking his head “No.. You are” Ethan laid back down, rubbing his thumb across Mark’s face “And nice!” He quickly added, smiling.

Mark laughed, staying quiet for a few minutes before rolling Ethan onto his back, sitting up now. Ethan laughed, sitting up too, leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder.

“The stars are really pretty tonight.,” Mark whispered.

Ethan broke out laughing and giggled “You did not just try and use a meme as a pickup line” He wheezed, holding his stomach “Oh my god... I think I’m crying again”

“I think it’s time for us to get home” Mark laughed, standing up, holding out his arm for Ethan. Ethan looked at his hand and smiled, immediately taking it to stand up.

Ethan got his shoes on and unrolled his jeans, tying his shoes with his eyes closed to finally see what they looked like. He blinked, staring at it before shaking his head. By the time he was typing his other shoe, Mark was up and waiting for him. Ethan smiled and got up, taking his hand to walk home.

Ethan was quiet and observant as they walked home. Mark smiled, putting a hand on the doorknob “Ready to see Chica?” Mark smiled. 

Ethan giggled, nodding lightly. Mark opened the door, to be greeted with a happy and fluffy Chica, wagging her tail. Ethan gasped, dropping the floor to ditch Mark, petting Chica “Oh my god, who’s a good girl?” Ethan laughed, stumbling back on his butt when Chica started to lick him “Aw, Hi girly!” He giggled, petting her, messing with her ears “Aw, You’re so beautiful!” He smiled, patting her head, hugging her. She complied easily, jumping up to put her paws on his shoulders. He looked up to see Mark already with his phone out “Are you always taking pictures of me?” Ethan laughed, scruffing up Chica’s fur around her ears.

“Pretty much” He smiled, looking at the pictures of Ethan, unable to decide which one he wanted as his lock screen. He grinned a little, sitting on the floor “You wanna do me a favor?” He smiled.

“Depends”

“Put your foreheads together” Mark turned the lights off, the lamp in the corner the only light that lit up their faces. 

Ethan shrugged and compiled, putting his forehead against Chica’s staring at her eyes with a curious expression. He let her go once he heard Mark shuffle for the lights and stood up “Happy?”

“You wanna see them?” He offered his phone.

Ethan stared at the phone, questioning it before biting his lip. He hummed and quickly took the phone, smiling at Mark before looking at them. He blinked rapidly, standing next to Mark “Where are the other ones?” He mumbled. Mark took his finger, swiping it to the side. Ethan blinked, staring at the photos of him, swiping himself before getting back into the ones of him in Mark’s bed. Mark quickly took the phone “Wha- Hey! No!” Ethan laughed “I wanna see more, please!?” Ethan pouted, looking at Mark with big eyes. Mark groaned a little, finally handing the phone to Ethan “Yes!” He giggled, going through all the pictures while Mark went off to get dressed for bed. He stared at his face, walking through the apartment into the kitchen before going down the hallway into the bathroom before opening a different door to the bedroom “Found it” Ethan laughed.

“Found what?” Mark smiled, turning around in his pajama pants and a tank top.

“The room” Ethan chuckled, taking his pants off to look through the pictures “Do I really look this dorky?” Ethan mumbled, dropping his jeans on the floor before putting Mark’s phone on the bed, taking his shirt off.

“Yes, and I love it” Mark laughed, taking his phone back to set the picture of him and Chica as his background. Two things he loved in one.

Ethan dropped the shirt over the edge of the bed, crawling on the bed. He kissed Mark on the cheek before laying down under the covers “Me and Chica as your lock screen now?” Ethan smirked.

“Yeah.. And I like to look at it”

“Yeah…. I like seeing you too” Ethan smiled.

Mark laughed and put his phone on the charger, turning off the lights. Mark got under the covers too, taking Ethan’s small body into his arms. He kissed Ethan’s cheek before settling down, letting the fatigue set into his body. Ethan, on the other hand, was asleep in minutes, his eyes closed. Closed, but not blind. Mark smiled at that thought, kissing the nape of his neck lightly before burying his face in Ethan’s back, holding him close.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been 2 weeks jeez, sorry guys,, hope you enjoy <3
> 
> also, thinking about making a discord server about my writing ? idk, still an idea in progress,,

Ethan rolled over in his sleep, slowly opening his eyes. He reached out an arm for the body he expected to be there, but never was. He quickly sat up, rubbing his eyes to look around. He got a sudden rush, looking around before slowly calming down with his surroundings. A small smile crept onto his face, remembering he could see. He could see the world and know colors thanks to just one human with such a kind heart.

He let his vision adjust for the first time and looked around the room to see Mark sitting at the foot of the bed, a light shining on his face “Mark?” He mumbled, pushing the covers off his bed to crawl closer to the end of the bed. The light was suddenly dimmed and Mark was turned around. Ethan’s head looking down at him, confused.

“Sorry, Did I wake you?” Mark whispered, putting the source of light on the floor. Ethan quickly realized it was his laptop and smiled.

“No? I don’t think so” Ethan whispered back, shifting on the bed to a sitting position “What time is it?” He rubbed his eyes, cursing himself for the still slight pain from healing. 

“Uh... About four? I think” Mark shrugged, smiling up at him.

“What are you doing at four?” He glanced down and back up at Mark’s face “On the floor in your Christmas pajama pants with a computer” Ethan giggled under his breath, noticing Mark’s wider smile.

“Just something special” Mark whispered, letting the room gain it’s quiet dimeter back. Ethan wanted to ask, even though he guessed it was something for him. He didn’t ask anyways and hummed in acknowledgment, freely letting a yawn escape his lips “You should go back to bed” Mark whispered, pulling his laptop closer to his lap.

Ethan glared jealously over the piece of metal as if it did him wrong and frowned. He sighed, moving his hand slowly to Mark’s shoulder “Will you join me?” He whispered, his smile obviously coming through. He moved his warm hand over Mark’s cold shoulder, slowly laying down on the bed to wrap his arms around Mark’s neck “Won’t you?” He pouted, his hands moving across Mark’s chest.

Mark groaned and put the computer down, sitting up, to stand up, pulling Ethan with him, only to pick him up “I really hate that I can’t say no to you, you know that?” Mark grumbled as he crawled into bed with Ethan. Ethan only laughed and crawled to the far side of the bed, pulling the blankets back over the bed, only to be pulled back by Mark.

“Oh I know” Ethan smiled, feeling Mark’s breath on the back of his neck. It was finally secure and warm. As cold as Mark’s chest was, Ethan enjoyed it well enough. The warmth he would give off. He felt Mark yawn on the back of his neck and shivered, curling his legs closer to his chest. He heard Mark mumble something else before hearing the soft snoring behind his ear. Ethan rolled his eyes and smiled “I was the one who needed to go to sleep” He muttered, laughing to himself before closing his eyes.

He woke later to the same empty bed, rolling over to see Mark not there. He yawned slowly, rolling back over this time. The sun was up and he was warm! Mark could do whatever he wanted right now, Ethan just wanted to sleep and stay in bed. He forgot completely about Mark and pulled up the blankets up to his nose, burying himself in the sheets. He closed his eyes again, listening to the soft bird chirp through the window. The sound of someone walking around in the apartment and the sound of a t.v. on, a few rooms away. He smiled, hearing them. Being able to hear and see them both. Hearing and seeing that sweet face to greet him in the morning. 

Even thinking of him, Ethan heard those same footsteps coming down the hall and into the room. Once in the room, Ethan got that tingly feeling of being watched but kept his eyes closed nonetheless. He heard the footsteps walk around a bit and shuffling. A small swear of Mark saying ‘fuck’ under his breath before he was walking back around. He heard a shuffling in front of him and Mark mumbling under his breath.

“Why do you have to be the absolute cutest thing sleeping?” Mark whispered, reaching out to touch Ethan’s bangs, combing his rough hands through the light brown mess “You’re gonna love where we’re going” He whispered, kissing Ethan’s forehead.

Ethan yawned again, reaching his hand up to move Mark’s hand “Hm, where are we going?” He mumbled, rubbing his eyes. Mark smiled, staring into Ethan’s light green eyes. His heart melted slightly at Ethan’s eyes every time he saw them. They were like some sort of green or blue changing to a golden brown. It all just depends on the light. But they were this starburst almost of an amber shade in the middle with light blue flecks and streaks like a meteor shower shooting across an azure sky.

“It’s a surprise” Mark really whispered, staring at Ethan’s eyes “Are your eyes hazel now? Because they were blue and now they’re green, but they’re changing to some sort of gold” Mark mumbled. Ethan blinked and looked up at Mark, shrugging “I love them” He whispered, kissing Ethan quickly before standing up. Ethan smiled, left being a blushing mess under the covers.

“I like your eyes too” Ethan laughed “They remind me of chocolate and nature” Ethan smiled “I could get lost in those beauties” Ethan murmured sleepily. He slowly drifted off again, ignoring Mark’s protest. He nearly screamed when he was being picked up, hugging Mark’s shoulder “Thanks, can you take me to the kitchen?” He joked, pulling the blankets up with him.

“Ethan, oh my god, just get up” Mark laughed, pushing the blankets away “We only have a few hours until we have to leave” Mark hummed, setting Ethan back down before he bundled back up in the blankets. Mark only sighed and crawled in next to him, putting his arm around him.

Ethan only smiled, burying his head in Mark’s chest “I might get up if you tell me where we’re going” He grinned, wanting to know. It’s not like Mark ever hid something from Ethan. He always told Ethan where they were going and what they were gonna do.

Mark chuckled, his ribs vibrating against Ethan’s forehead. Ethan had to admit, it was comforting “It’s a surprise, but I’m hoping you don’t mind planes” He mumbled, kissing Ethan’s head before pulling away.

Ethan ignored the plane comment and reached out for Mark, pulling him back down to lean into his chest “Stay... You’re warm” He murmured, his grip on Mark’s shirt tightening. Mark was quiet for a few more seconds before sighing and laying back down with Ethan.

“Fine” he muttered, hugging Ethan, getting his arms underneath him and around him “But seriously, we need to get up and get ready since we’ll be driving for maybe an hour” Mark squeezed Ethan’s small figure before letting him go. Ethan groaned, sticking to Mark’s side “...You can sleep in the car”

Ethan whined, weighing his options “But then you’ll take pictures of me and those will end up on any social media you have” Ethan yawned and stretched, just barely not hitting Mark in the face. He sighed and smiled, staring at Mark’s eyes “Beautiful” He mumbled, kissing Mark just barely before pulling away “Alright I’m getting up” He mumbled, pushing Mark’s arms away.

Mark groaned and let him go, sitting up on the bed before standing “You meant to do that” He muttered, glaring at his boyfriend walking to their shared closet.

“I don’t know what you mean” Ethan grinned, pulling his shirt off to find a plain grey shirt, holding it up “This is gray, isn’t it?” He waved the shirt around a little, still looking through the closet.

“Yeah, it looks good on you” Mark pointed out before walking over to him “And I meant when you got up” He mumbled, pulling out a green flannel, offering it to Ethan “Never mind, you get it” He smiled.

Ethan looked at him and shrugged, taking the flannel. He already put the grey shirt on while Mark was talking. He shrugged, unbuttoning it to put it on, rolling up the sleeves “No, I don’t get it” He smirked, watching Mark’s frustrated face “Enlighten me” He snickered, grinning at Mark.

Mark only groaned, watching Ethan roll his sleeves up “Oh I’ll enlighten your fucking ass” Mark muttered, sighing. He smiled again and ignored Ethan’s teasing.

Ethan giggled, blushing a small bit at Mark’s antics “I’m good actually!” He snorted, staring at the clothes in his closet “Wait, did you already pack all of my clothes?” He pushed his hangers around, noticing the massive dent in shirts and pants on the higher shelf.

“Oh yeah, Mismatched outfits and un-matching shoes” Mark smirked at Ethan’s glare and crossed his arms “What? Gotta sike your mom out when we go and see her” Mark laughed, dropping his arms.

Ethan stopped and stared up at Mark, already feeling his eyes water “Wait..” He smiled, wiping his eye “Are you taking to Maine to see my parents?” He laughed, the corners of his mouth twitching upwards “You are not..” He whispered, reaching up to cover his mouth. Mark only smiled and shrugged, glancing away before staring back at Ethan with a soft smile “Oh my god you are” He whispered, hugging him “Oh my god you’re the best” 

He mumbled into Mark’s shoulder. Mark laughed, hugging him back tightly “Well you can’t go your whole life without seeing them” Mark whispered, leaning down into Ethan’s ear “And I never got a blessing to date their son”

“Oh my god I thought you were going to say marry and I was about to panic because Mark’s it’s been half a year slow down-” He laughed, steadying his breathing “You’re moving too quick” He joked “It’s like everything we do anymore is something big and life-changing” He mumbled.

“I’m sorry... Maybe one day we can just sit and nap all day. Or maybe sit and cuddle on the couch and you can drink your tea and my coffee..”

“Don’t apologize!” Ethan instantly felt bad, pulling away from Mark, rubbing his eyes “It’s not your fault. Ever since you came into my life, my life has... Definitely changed for the better. It’s like every day is a new adventure waiting to happen” Ethan smiled, his hands staying on Mark’s arms, moving to his elbows “And... I really love it. I love finally getting to see your smile and see how dorky you are in public and… It’s like a never-ending adventure, something new is always happening” Ethan beamed up at Mark, wincing “Please don’t cry! I’m sorry” He let go of Mark, waving his hands around anxiously “I-I take it back! I didn’t mean it- I-” He stopped, Mark, hugging him quickly.

“Don’t apologize you ball of anxiety” Mark laughed, rubbing his back “You just.. Make life sound more interesting than what I thought it was” Mark smiled, letting Ethan go to kiss his forehead.

“That’s because life is interesting again!” Ethan smiled, shrugging lightly “Or I guess it’s just me this time” He mumbled, reaching up on the shelf to finally pull his sunglasses down, sliding them over his eyes “Looking blind?” He looked up at Mark, his face much darker than before.

“Very blind” Mark smiled, messing with his hair “Come on, we’ve got about three hours for our plane” He sighed “You can sleep in the car if you need” Mark laughed, walking around the apartment again.

Ethan yawned and smiled, pushing his glasses up for now until he needed to. He scanned the room and made a little noise when he noticed his walking stick. He shrugged and picked it up, unfolding it before closing his eyes. He memorized the room already so at least he wouldn’t run into anything. He made a muffled scream when his shin hit the side of the bed “Fuck” he muttered, rubbing his shin.

Mark poked his head in only to give him a strange stare before slowly backing into the hallway. Ethan smiled a little and laughed, following him “I’m pretending to be blind again for my mom, relax! I just.. Hit my shin on the bed” He mumbled, folding his stick up again.

“You know you only have to pretend when we’re at your mom’s for like, five minutes, right?” Mark laughed, rechecking their bags before putting a backpack on, carrying his bag. 

“Well no actually, people might see me on the plane and then when I get off they see I’m faking being blind” He shrugged “We’re just gonna have to fake it the whole flight”

“It’s gonna be about six hours” Mark watched Ethan sigh and groan “Have you ever been on a plane before?” Mark smirked a little.

“Uh- Of course I have! I moved to California all by myself!” He grinned “Kind of..” He mumbled.

“Wait- You flew across the country all alone?”

“I have Saerla with me!” Ethan protested, his shoulders scrunching up just slightly “So I wasn’t... Completely alone” He mumbled.

“Ethan, you were alone” Mark frowned “How did you do it?”

“I don’t know” Ethan shrugged, looking at Mark and smiled “It just.. Happened?” He tilted his head, the sunglasses falling over his eyes again. He jumped and laughed lightly, taking them off to put them on his pocket “I uh... Came to kind of, just come. I wanted to prove to my parents I could do things without them! And I met Kathryn… And she didn’t think I could do things by myself and one day I stood up and took Searla on a walk by myself..” Ethan held his opposite arm and smiled.

“That’s when you met me..” Mark mumbled, smiling down at the counter with his phone in his hands. He just stared at the black screen, confused and delayed.

“You were the only person who didn’t underestimate me, or if you did you never told me” Ethan smiled, his arms holding themselves “You kind of just let me do my own thing and never complained about my blindness..” He smiled “And you wanted me to finally live and to see..” Ethan laughed a little “I’m getting all rambly again, we should go before I give out a whole rant about something” He mumbled, watching Mark’s face.

He looked happy, slightly upset, but mostly happy “Yeah, even if I could hear you ramble about nothing all day”

“We should make a list of things! Like of normal things that people do and do them” Ethan jumped a little, bouncing on his feet. 

Mark only laughed and kissed his head on the way out “Well I’ll see you when I get home, I’m off to work, honey” Mark mumbled in a goofy voice before walking out the door, snickering.

“Bye honey, have a nice day!” Ethan smiled and sighed contently “Wait I’m supposed to go with you-” He nearly screeched, running to the door before closing and locking it “Mark wait!” He laughed, following him down the hallway.

Mark laughed and kissed his head again, stepping into the elevator “Ready for an hour in the car and six hours on a plane?”

Ethan sighed, trying to do the math “Uh… wait, what’s a six look like again?” He mumbled, trying to think of what a seven even looked like.

Mark smiled, pointing to a button on the elevator “That’s a six” He put his hand down “And if it’s like seven right now, one hour it’s gonna be eight… To nine, ten, eleven, twelve, plus two more are two P.M. but time zones are different so If it’s supposed to be two in California it’ll be five in Maine”

Ethan stared at him and just blinked rapidly before looking away “Right, you’ll have to explain that to me later” He mumbled, leaning on Mark’s shoulder.

Mark was right. Nearly seven hours of sitting and stay still for this long wasn’t a good thing for Ethan. At some point he got one of Mark’s hoodies, snuggling it. Ethan got the inside seat because as much as he loved to see, he’d rather not see how high he could fall from. In Ethan’s words “To see the world, I have to live to see first” in other words him whispering about not wanting to look. So they switched seats and Ethan hugged Mark’s arm the whole time, moving his foot rapidly. It eventually stopped after two hours of him whimpering and Mark complaining about losing an arm. So now they both sat, Ethan, sleeping with Mark’s arm and Mark reading on his phone.

After six dreadful hours, Mark shook Ethan awake “No shut up” Ethan mumbled, reaching up to rub his eyes. He adjusted his glasses and yawned, snuggling back into Mark’s arm.

“Dude, I want my arm back” Mark laughed, watching Ethan go right back to sleep. He sighed, moving his arm to wake Ethan “Ethan, man, C’mon” He laughed a little more, carding a hand through Ethan’s hair “Ethan... We’re getting off in nearly twenty minutes” He whispered, letting Ethan get up on his own, finally letting go of his arm. He rubbed his eyes before putting his glasses back on, staring ahead blankly.

“Oh,” He mumbled, still sleepily. He groaned, leaning back against his chair before staring at Mark’s lap, reaching carefully around before slowly grabbing his arm “I don’t know how to get to their house, but I know their address. Is that good enough?” He mumbled.

Mark instantly took his hand before shaking his head a little in shock. He blinked before nodding “Yeah that’s fine. Don’t worry, it’s all gonna be okay” Mark smiled, feeling nervous. It was weird. Ethan was good at acting? Or well, he had been blind his whole life so he wasn’t truly acting. Just for a second, Mark thought he was blind again.

Ethan smiled lightly, gripping Mark’s arm “Thanks” He whispered, reaching up to touch his cheek before leaning up to kiss it “You always know when I’m worried” He mumbled, feeling down Mark’s shoulder and arm to find his hand, intertwining their hands “I’m grateful for that” Ethan giggled.

Mark smiled, squeezing his hand lightly “I know what you’re thinking” He whispered, bringing Ethan’s hand to his lips, just barely kissing his knuckles “You know you can say it..”

Ethan not only wanted to say the words but knew Mark wanted him to. He blinked, looking down and felt his stomach drop a little as the plane started to go down. He squeezed Mark’s hand tightly before steadying his breathing. He smiled widely and rubbed Mark’s hand with his thumb “I love you” He whispered, feeling his whole body heat up and the cold chills drop. He felt tingly and distant from the world. He shook his head a little and passed it off as the plane messing with him.

Mark must’ve noticed something up with Ethan because he was pulling him closer and kissing his temple “I love you too” He smiled against Ethan’s head. Ethan noticed how easy it was for him to so bluntly say it. Ethan knew he’d said the words before, maybe in a not as serious tone, but he must’ve at some point. He had to have. Ethan shrugged his shoulders a little and calmed down while the plane landed before he realized they had already landed.

Ethan sat up and looked around slowly, listening to everyone instead of watching them “Wait, we landed, right?” Ethan mumbled, clinging to Mark’s arm still, his other hand clinging tightly to Searla’s leash. He swallowed, fiddling with the leash before hearing people move. Searla moved in front of him, licking his knee that scared him “Ew, don’t lick me through my jeans” He mumbled, gripping Mark’s hand.

“Yeah, We’re just gonna wait for a second or two for us to be let off” Mark reassured and watched Ethan, smiling sadly at him. Ethan stayed quiet the whole time while getting off the plane. He held onto Searla’s leash tightly as she leads him, slowly tugging him. Mark laughed at it a little as he followed them, taking Ethan’s hand in his.

He still held onto Ethan’s hand while waiting for the baggage return, watching for the baggage to come around. Ethan smiled, moving their hands lightly “Did the bag come yet?” He mumbled, knowing there were a few people by them that were staring. Whether it be because they were holding hands or him looking blind was beyond him.

Mark laughed, watching them as he hummed “Uhhh... Not yet” He sighed, rubbing Ethan’s head “Sorry Eth, It’ll take a minute” Mark watched more as the bags moved around.

“Hmmm..” Ethan looked down, listening to the people nearby, whispering about his sunglasses. He ignored it and only smiled wider “How about now?” Ethan giggled, still staring down.

“Yeah actually!” Mark grinned.

“Really?!” Ethan smiled.

“No” Mark deadpanned and Ethan pouted, taking his hand away to hold Shearla’s leash again. He yawned and smiled, reaching his hand out against Mark’s chest, moving up to his shoulder before Mark took his hand on his own, intertwining their fingers. 

“Aw, You had me going there for a second” Ethan grinned, itching the back of his head, knowing people were staring. He knew people had stared before when he was blind, but he wasn’t aware of it when they did! Now that he knew, it was slightly more nerve-wracking to know people stared “Are people staring at me again?” He whispered, hunching his shoulders up a little.

Mark looked around and made eye contact with a couple staring at Ethan. The girl blinked and looked away, a little shameful frown on her face. Mark slowly let go of Ethan’s hand, feeling his hand grip to Mark’s sleeve instead “Doesn’t matter bud, bags here” He smiled, taking Ethan’s hand away for a second to put the backpack on and grabbing the carry bag. He then took Ethan’s hand back in his and walked away “I’m sorry people stare” He commented a little louder than needed.

Ethan just smiled and shrugged, staring at the ground “Doesn’t matter, I’ve got you” He grinned “Wish I could kiss your cheek, but right now I’m not sure I would hit it” He mumbled, “You want a kiss on your eye?” Ethan laughed.

“Man, as painful as that would be, I think if it was the only form of kisses I’d get, I think I’d say yes to it, but as for now it can wait” Mark grinned, walking to the exit “So where do your parents live again?” He opened the door for Ethan, leading him out. 

“Uhh- Duh, What street are we on?” Ethan mumbled, smiling innocently”

“Um... Westbrook?” Mark shrugged, looking at Ethan.

“...So we’re like three hours away from my parent’s house- But! I know there’s a car rental place here and thankfully, Maine has taxies” Ethan smiled, priding himself in knowing. 

Mark grinned, kissing Ethan’s temple “I think you’d be more comfortable in a car instead of a taxi so let’s go?”

Ethan nodded, pointing to the road “It’s this way!” He smiled, almost walking into a car before Mark stopped him, turning his whole body around and pat his back “This way!” He grinned again, walking with Searla.

Mark sighed and smiled, ignoring the few people that smiled at him anyways “Please stay close” He whined, taking Ethan’s free hand “I don’t want you getting hurt”

Ethan smiled, dropping his voice to an extremely quiet whisper “Relax, I can see where I’m going. I can also see people staring at us, probably thinking you’re a good boyfriend” He grinned, walking a little faster.

“Ethan, I’m holding your hand, you can’t escape me” Mark laughed, quickly catching up to him. He grinned and got closer, pecking his cheek. Ethan laughed, swinging their arms “Right here” Mark kissed his temple before letting go of his hand and speaking to someone else. Ethan shrugged it off and looked in a different direction, walking away from Mark, letting the leash tug and guide him in circles as he laughed ”Ethan- Ethan?” Mark laughed “I.. was gonna say get into the car, but honestly what are you doing?”

“I don’t know- being goofy” Ethan grinned as he slowly came to a stop, facing Mark.

“Well get your ass in the car” Mark laughed, watching Ethan happily climb into the car as he put the dog in the back, waiting for Mark. Mark smiled when he got in, leaning over to kiss Ethan on the cheek.  
_________________

They arrived, just before Ethan was about to lose his leg from bouncing so much. He was smiling like an idiot as he directed Mark to his old house. He’d never seen it before yeah, but he remembers the way the sidewalk to their house had a dent in it from the tree root nearby. He also knew someone about a plant hanging on the deck that he used to hit his head on if he was close enough to the side of their stone stairs.

Ethan nearly screamed when he saw the cracked sidewalk and pot on the street, tapping Mark’s shoulder rapidly as he pointed to the house “Mark- Mark! Mak! Marky- Mark-”

Mark laughed and slowed down to look at the house “ I see it, I see it- Calm down, Ethan” Mark grinned, watching Ethan’s excited face. He raised his sunglasses to look at it, admiring the soft features of his smile as he stared the house down “Excited?” Mark whispered, parking the car.

Ethan grinned and wiped his eyes before putting the glasses back on “Very much” He laughed, opening the car door, letting Saerla climb out and sit, waiting for him. He laughed and slowly followed, closing the door behind him as he looked down.

Mark was already out, getting in the truck to get their bags and Ethan’s backpack “You doing okay up there?” Mark raised his voice before closing the trunk and walking to Ethan’s side, nudging him for the backpack.

Ethan turned and took it, slinging it over his shoulders “Yeah, It’s just been a while since Saerla’s been home” He laughed, fidgeting with Saerla’s leash “God- You’re gonna love my mom Annie” He laughed.

“I’m sure I’ll love them both, but I mean.. I’m pretty sure they’re surprised or concerned why strangers are in their yard” He mumbled, smiling up at the window before curtains close. He frowned and took Ethan’s hand leading him to the steps “Watch your step, right there” He watched as Ethan lightly kicked the wall before taking a step up, slowly reaching the deck, being pulled to the side to avoid the hanging plant “Don’t hit your head again” He mumbled.

Ethan laughed “It’s been years!” He smiled, looking ahead “Can I ring the doorbell?” He gasped “Pretty please?!” He giggled.

Mark shrugged, guiding his hand to the wall “Just up a little” He smiled, watching Ethan feel his way up before pressing the button down with his finger, hearing the small ding from inside the house.

“I heard it!” He laughed, leaning back to hold Mark’s hand, lowering it to fiddle with the end of Mark’s jacket sleeve, rubbing the cuff of his sleeves back and forth in his hand, digging his nail into it impatiently “Are sure they’re home?” He mumbled.

“I saw someone inside” Mark shrugged “Wanna try again?” Mark offered, readjusting the double bag on his shoulder to hold it more securely “I mean- we came all this way..” He mumbled, shrugging.

“My mom would know it’s me!” He laughed, shuffling his feet a little on the stone porch. He yawned before jumping at the old screen door opening and his mom coming out with a grin on her face. 

“Ethan!” She smiled widely, opening her arms for him. Ethan did his best not to hug her first and waited until she hugged him first before hugging her back “It’s so good to see you again!” She laughed, pulling away to look at him “Aw... You look the same as I remember” She giggled, leaning up to ruffle his hair.

He flinched lightly and laughed, pushing up his glasses “So I’ve been told” He smiled, feeling for Mark’s hand until he stuck out his arm above Ethan’s hand. He smiled once he got a hold of his jacket sleeve, pulling him a little closer “Mom, this is Mark” He smiled, patting up his arm to hold his arm around the elbow, leaning on his shoulder.

Mark chuckled with a blush, sticking his hand out “Mark” Mark smiled, watching her look him up and down. He felt uncomfortable under her gaze before she smiled and gladly took his hand in both her hands, smiling up at him.

“Nice to meet you Mark, and you’re Ethan’s…” She stopped and slowly let go of his hand, looking at Ethan. Ethan was staring at the ground, squeezing Mark’s jacket sleeve with all the strength his small fingers could. He had been out to his parents, but how would they even react to him finally having someone to date. It was the first person he ever really dated.

“Husband” Mark grinned, watching Ethan’s face turn to instant panic and his mom gasp, staring at Ethan.

“No, you are not! Oh my god, don’t you dare lie, you dick!” Ethan hit his arm before crossing his arms, facing away from him slightly.

Mark only laughed as Annie started in confusion “Aw, I’m sorry. I’m actually just his boyfriend” Mark glanced at him before hugging him from behind “And he’s my lil baby” He teased, kissing Ethan’s cheek only for Ethan to push him away “And a brat” He mumbled, letting him go.

“I wouldn’t be such a brat if you weren’t such a dick” Ethan muttered, fidgeting with the dog leash.

“Oh.,” Annie mumbled, looking back at Mark and to Ethan. She had a curious, but more concerned face before smiling widely “Well, Mark. We’re happy to welcome you into the family!” She giggled.

Ethan blushed and covered his face, pushing his sunglasses up further. Annie noticed and was about to question him about it before Saerla’s leash jolted out of Ethan’s hand and she ran inside to smell at someone standing inside. Ethan laughed a little and smiled lightly, feeling his mom’s comforting hand on his arm.

“Oh, sorry about that kiddo” Ethan’s dad, Mark, walked through the door onto the porch, holding Saerla by the leash “Got excited, didn’t she?”

Mark laughed and smiled “Yeah, she really is” He mumbled, looking up at Ethan’s dad.

His dad blinked and eyed Mark suspiciously. Ethan crouched on the ground, snapping and opening his arms for her to come to him, hugging her while petting her head. Ethan’s dad raised an ear brow and looked Mark up and down “And you are?”

Mark smiled a little “Mark” He noticed Ethan’s dad’s expression change, Ethan’s dad slowly smiling.

He stuck his hand out with a grin “Mark” He laughed, making Mark laugh too as he grabbed Ethan’s dad’s hand.

“Ethan, how come you never told me your dad and I have the same name?” Mark nudged him lightly with his knee.

Ethan laughed a little before standing up, reaching for Mark’s hand “Uh.. because then you’d some weird daddy joke or tease me and ask who my dad was?” Ethan mumbled with a shrug “Not to mention it’s my middle name” He laughed.

Mark grinned and leaned a little closer to him “Why is the first thing you think of a daddy joke?” he muttered, staring at him in confusion.

Ethan shrugged and pushed his face away before looking at the ground “Shut it” He whispered, feeling his mom take his hand. He glanced back at Mark, giving him a quick middle finger before letting himself be let into the living room. He wanted to tell her, but not right now.

Mark smiled and followed him, closing the door after him, watching as dogs all ran around and jumped at his and Ethan’s legs. He laughed and pet one before putting the bag down, looking around the foyer. It was a small house from the outside, but inside it was cozy and smelled like Ethan. It smelled like some weird candle that you don’t the scent of, like vanilla and some exotic fruit. He let his chest fall with an exhale and looked to his right, the living room having a small arch walkway. Ethan was on the floor, next to the coffee table. A couch pushed against the wall with the coffee table and then Ethan, then a tv right across from the couch on the wall, a small counter of family pictures across the entertainment center.

Mark glanced at Ethan on the ground and crouched beside him, putting an arm on his shoulder before kissing his head. Ethan smiled and looked up at him from the dog and pouted slightly. Mark chuckled and took that as a sign to kiss him lightly before pulling away. Ethan turned back to the dog instantly and Mark stood up to look at the family pictures from across the room.

Ethan’s dad blinked in surprise before Annie whispered something to him. He frowned a little before she elbowed him. Mark only smiled, knowing Ethan could see now. He gasped a little and put a hand on Ethan’s head, ruffling his hair “Hey, Ethan, You wanna show them what you got?” He grinned.

Ethan looked up, Mark hand on his glasses. He grinned and giggled lightly “Yes” He mumbled. Ethan, grabbed Mark’s arm to stand up and bound up to his mother, watching her confused look. He took the moment to stare at her face, admiring her features. He held back his tears before sliding his glasses off, smiling sweetly as his mother.

She opened her mouth before staring into his wide blue eyes. She smiled, tears trickling down her face “My baby boy!” She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly, her fingers combing through his hair “But... How?!” She asked, holding his face in shock “You have my eyes” She laughed.

Ethan laughed, hugging her tightly. Mark watched before his eyes went back to the pictures on the counter. He glanced back at Ethan’s parents hugging him and smiled, looking back at the pictures. He noticed one of Ethan, with clear white cataracts with another boy with brown hair, guessing it was his brother. He had to admit, Ethan looked strangely goofy as a kid.

He looked all the way to his left, two pictures of babies in Annie’s arms. One with what he was guessing was Ethan and Ethan’s brother. The next was one of them sleeping. He smiled at whichever one it was and looked all the way to the right to seen Ethan in front of a cake with the numbers one and eight on it. He smiled, knowing it was Ethan’s eighteenth birthday and smiled. He hummed a little, thinking about how Ethan has never been able to drive, and probably never has without help. He smiled sideways before looking at one of his parent’s wedding, his eyes glancing to Ethan asleep on the couch, spread out. He smiled, chuckling a little at the picture. He had his arm over his head, the other on his chest but his shirt was pulled up to show his stomach a little, along with his jacket falling off. He was in jeans with a leg pulled up to show converse. Mark guessed Ethan had just gotten home or was extremely tired of waiting and fell asleep there.

He glanced back at Ethan before looking down at the ground, noticing two dog beds in front of him, one big and one small. He felt a hand on his bicep, turning to see Ethan smiling at him. He stared curiously before smiling lightly “Sorry, Just looking at pictures” Mark laughed, pointing to the one of Ethan sleeping on the couch “I like that one”

Ethan blinked at it and gasped “Why?!” He glared back at his mom, guiltily smiling. He shook his head and lowered his hand to Mark’s forearm before slipping their hands together, Mark intertwining their fingers. Ethan smiled slightly, leaning his head on Mark’s shoulder “My dad is suspicious of you” He whispered.

Mark chuckled and shrugged “He’ll just have to get used to it because I’m not leaving easily” He whispered back, quieter before kissing Ethan’s head. Ethan grinned, holding Mark’s arm with his other hand, looking at his brother “Whoa- Is that Andrew?!” Ethan let go of Mark’s hand and grabbed the picture frame, looking at a man with long hair.

Mark slightly missed the hand before shoving it in his hoodie pocket. He watched Ethan run to his mom, pointing to his supposed brother excitedly as he bounced up and down. His dad laughed, glancing at Mark before looking back at Ethan. Mark felt slightly uncomfortable under the glare before shrugging it off.

“Yeah, that was taken about a year ago?” Annie giggled, smiling at how happy Ethan was. She glanced at his outfit, immediately noticing the big hoodie on her son and smiled. She glanced at his still unmatching shoes and grinned, looking back up into his eyes “Oh- You’re just in time for dinner!” She smiled, looking at Mark “Oh, You will stay, won’t you?”

Ethan glanced at Mark and smiled, putting the picture of his brother back before stopping at Mark’s side. He grinned up at him and smiled like a child. Mark blinked and shrugged “I mean, we’re here in Maine- We might as well make the stay worth it” Mark smiled. Ethan gasped and hugged tightly “Ah- Easy there, don’t knock me over like the dogs” Mark joked.

Ethan laughed and pulled away “Dude- Mom’s cooking is the fucking best!” He grinned “And that’s coming from a blind man” He winked.

“Boy” Mark smiled, patting his head.

Ethan only glared “I am a man!” He crossed his arms and eyed Mark.

“With that acne and squeaky voice, you’ve still got at least five years until your balls drop” Mark deadpanned, staring at Ethan blankly.

Ethan’s face grew red with embarrassment before he punched Mark in the arm, immediately holding his knuckles as if it hurt “My voice isn’t squEaky!” He frowned, his voice cracking near the end.

“Oh my god, you’re adorable” Mark mumbled, kissing his forehead “Never change” He held Ethan’s shoulders as he laughed.

Ethan sighed heavily and let his forehead fall onto Mark’s chest. He hummed for a long time, nuzzling his head into Mark’s chest before pulling away, his hair an unkempt mess.

“I hate you” He mumbled before taking a step back and picking up his backpack with clothes. He gestured to Mark’s duffle bag and nodded “You wanna uh, grab that and head up to the guest bed- Uh, Hey mom?” He called off, watching her from the kitchen.

“Yeah?” She leaned out of the opening window and smiled at him.

“Do we still have my old room?” Mark noticed the way he bit his lip in anticipation as he waited for his answer. His eyes looked desperate, the few nearly three seconds was an agony to him.

“Yeah, It’s still got-” Before she could finish, Mark watched Ethan run past him and turning around at the end of the hall, going up the stairs immediately, nearly tripping.

“Be careful” Mark called, watched him disappear, being left to hear his footsteps and a door being opened roughly before a small gasping sound. He smiled to himself and got his duffle bag, throwing it over his shoulder as he made his way for the stairs, catching Ethan’s dad’s glare as he quickly made his way up the stairs. He knew the man wanted him to be intimidated, but Mark honestly had nothing to fear. They were in love so, he couldn’t exactly ground Ethan as if he were sixteen again.

“Holy shit!” Ethan mumbled from his room. Mark made his way in, dropping the bag by the floor to look around. Light blue or green.. It was like a mix of both that sort of irritated Mark that he didn’t know the color. He shrugged it off quickly and watched Ethan look around his room in excitement “Dude! I know this stupid closet!” He laughed, standing in front of a mirror to grab the small hole in it, lifting the whole door to slide it open “It'd always get stuck... That’s why I stopped putting my backpack in it when I had to go to school” He smiled, looking at the clutter of mess on his dresser. 

Mark drew his eyes to the desk, pokemon cards and rocks all across the back of the desk. Mark and Ethan shared a glance before Mark smirked a little, Ethan getting a shy look “You really like rocks, huh?” He laughed.

“Just the blue ones..” He smiled, glancing at the light and dark blue shades of rocks “I told my brother I liked the blue and green ones, mostly cuz... I just liked blue” He shrugged.

Mark and smiled, taking a step closer to Ethan, standing next to him. He stared at the desk, a jar of blue and green colored color pencils with a few crayons in them. Mark chuckled a little at the gymnastic ribbons and medals on his wall “Forgot you were in gymnastics” he mumbled.

Ethan groaned and looked at them “Yeah... I had to quick when I was like fourteen, mostly because that’s around the age you’re too old for it- But also because… They didn’t think I’d make it professionally” He mumbled, crossing his arms.

“They?” Mark raised an eyebrow at Ethan, waiting for a response. He only got a shrug and a half faked smile. He guessed Ethan meant the gym instructors, but still. Mark only shrugged and let his arm fall over Ethan’s hip, pulling him a little closer. Ethan chuckled, taking the step for him so he wouldn’t fall. Mark wrapped his arms around Ethan’s small waist, laying his chin on Ethan’s shoulder to glance at him “Hey” He whispered before looking back at the desk.

Ethan glanced at him with a curious expression, slowly looking back at the desk to see what he was looking at “Hey” Ethan looked back at him, seeing Mark’s eyes move quickly back to the desk. Ethan blinked in confusion before turning his head to look at Mark. Mark smiled, turning his head to steal a light kiss before letting go of Ethan.

Ethan only laughed and had a set smile afterward “You’re too sweet” He teased, glancing at his old headphones before looking back to his bed, looking at his cactus, a yellow flower blooming from it’s top. He gasped and pointed to it “Velvet!” He laughed, walking to it “I can’t believe you’re still alive, Oh my god” He mumbled.

“I can’t believe you named a cactus, Velvet” Mark mumbled.

“I didn’t know what the fuck it was” Ethan shrugged, “I thought it was like… a cloud thing, I think” He mumbled, lightly touching the petals as Mark gave him a concerning look. Mark eventually shook his head and looked at the posters on the wall, papers and pins and things taped and staples uneven and messy on the wall. They all covered on another or was too far apart and Mark couldn’t help to think Ethan wanted to do it alone.

Ethan eventually stood up and looked back at his bed, flopping down onto it, his legs almost touching the ground as he relaxed “..Smells like teenage years” He mumbled before making a gagging sound “Oh my god- When was the last these sheets were washed?” He grimaced “Gross”

“Why does your mind go there?” Mark snorted.

“I didn’t imply I had sex in these sheets, I meant they’ve just sat here for like four years” Ethan glared.

“You just implied you were thinking about sex, I never implied it”

“Oh my god” Ethan whispered “I fucking hate you”

Mark laughed and watched Ethan close his eyes with a happy smile. He couldn’t help but notice Ethan’s childish look to him. He wasn’t exactly built like himself. More of a... Skinny, thin, toothpick kind of shy kid on campus who drinks coffee with the band kids and the cute girls. He grinned and slowly walked to the bed, sitting down next to him, bringing a knee up to lay on the bed, watching Ethan.

“I can feel you watching me” Ethan mumbled, “You know that right?”

“Yeah, you get cold chills kinda? And you sense the air thickening where the person is standing or where you feel like you’re being watched” Mark glanced around the room some more, smiling at the window. Doodles in sharpie or an expo marker look like they’re years old.

“Ew, stop describing exactly what I feel” Ethan laughed. 

Mark smiled and playing with his wiggling fingers and toes together, bouncing them up and down from boredom. He glanced at Ethan, poking his side “You wanna make out like horny teenagers?”

Ethan all but nearly choked as he sat up, trying to breathe again. Mark could only laugh, lightly hitting his back as he tried to breathe himself. Ethan gasped for a breath while giggling as Mark’s laugh went silent before he calmed down. Just the mere glance at Ethan’s face made him laugh again. He sighed and watched as Ethan finally caught his breath. He cleared his throat, waiting a few seconds.

“What the actual fuck?!” Ethan gaped, staring at him. 

Mark only laughed again before smiling innocently “I don’t know, you’ll do it any other time” Mark smiled.

“Yeah- Like when my parents aren’t here and could walk in” He whispered.

“Oh my god, you act like a closet gay in high school” He muttered, snickering “And besides- that only happens in the movies and lame books!”

“Whatever” Ethan laughed. He glanced down at the ground, counting the polka dots on his mismatched socks, seeing if the colors matched his striped or not.

“So is that a yes or…?” Mark trailed off, glancing at Ethan.

“Oh hell yes” He nodded quickly, sitting up to kiss Mark. It was instant for a second before Ethan pulled away to giggle. He shook his head and slowly kissed Mark this time. His hand found its way to Mark’s shoulder, the other lightly grazing his cheek, slowly setting completely on Mark’s face.

Mark’s hands were at Ethan’s sides, one wrapping around him while the other pulled him closer. Ethan compiled by pulling apart for a few seconds to set in Mark’s lap. Mark’s hand found its way to Ethan’s back pocket, his other wrapping possessively around Ethan’s thin waist. Mark always pouted when Ethan pulled away to breathe, but always smiled dopely when he came back in again. Ethan’s hands were carded through Mark’s hair, messing up every curl and brushed hair, making it a tangled mess between Ethan’s nimble fingers.

Ethan sighed slowly, letting his arms fall behind Mark, wrapping his arms around his neck as they kissed. Ethan pulled away with a small smack as he giggled “Horny teeangerish enough for ya?” Ethan snorted in Mark’s face.

Mark gave him an adoring look, anyone in their right mind would notice as admiration. Mark hummed for a moment, considering it “Not quite” He finally declared.

Ethan sighed and shook his head a little “Lemme see if I can get a hard-on real quick”

“Ethan! No!” Mark laughed, holding him close still as they laughed. Ethan laughed and giggled, holding Mark’s face close to his as their noses bumped. He didn’t quite like his nose, but Mark pointed out his eyes and Ethan loved his face afterward. For the most part. Mark liked his eyes too though, they were Ethan’s favorite feature of himself. Mark, on the other hand, loved his lips. They were soft, small, thin and so irresistible to just not kiss. Mark lightly pecked his lips before putting their foreheads together “Hey..” He whispered.

Ethan smiled lightly and leaned up slightly to kiss his forehead slowly, lowering their foreheads back together “...Hi, Mark” He mumbled, smiling like a love-struck idiot at him. 

Mark chuckled lightly, gripping Ethan’s thighs as he moved to lay down, holding him tightly. Ethan didn’t put up much of a protest as he happily wrapped his arms around Mark, letting his cheek fall on his arm as he stared at the sheets next to Mark.

“I really love you,” Mark whispered, an obvious smile on his face “You know that?” He smiled, raising one leg up, forcing Ethan to scoot up closer on Mark’s chest.

Ethan grinned against his arm and let his eyes close as he yawned “Yeah..” He mumbled, tightening his grip around Mark’s neck “And I really love you too” He giggled.

Mark laughed and rubbed his back “No need to be a smart ass about it” Mark joked.

“I am a smart ass” Ethan mumbled sleepily.

“Are you seriously tired again?” Mark mumbled into Ethan’s shoulder.

Ethan lightly chuckled, his arm grip going limp “Yes, I get tired so easily and I didn’t get my nap today-”

“You slept on the plane”

“Never said it was comfortable” Ethan complained “Hey, you should totally… let me fall asleep on you” Ethan whispered, already nodding off.

Mark only chuckled lightly and ran his fingers through his hair, letting him fall asleep completely before taking his hands out of Ethan’s hair and laying on his back, letting Ethan cuddle into his neck. He sighed happily and listened to Ethan’s happy, content breathing. He let the time go by, pulling out his phone after a few minutes to text Kathryn.

Mark 8:48 PM: He fell asleep on me :p

Kat 8:52 PM: Oh my god give me blackmail material

Mark 8:54 PM: Image at 8:53 PM sent!

Kat 8:55 PM: hhhhhhhhh  
Kat 8:56 PM: He’s gonna hate you

Mark 8:56 PM: He could never

Mark smirked at his phone, looking down at Ethan’s messed up hair on his shoulder. His small, light curls laying out anywhere they could. Mark smiled softly, kissing his head softly, one hand up to hold his phone, the other holding Ethan’s thin waist close to his.

Kat 8:56 PM: That’s probably true

Mark 8:58 PM: I got distracted, sorry

Kat 8:58 PM: You were staring at him, weren’t you

Mark 8:59 PM: Oh my god yes

Kat 8:59 PM: Oh my god you’re so mushy

Mark 9:00 PM: Oh my god shut up

Kat 9:00 PM: Oh my god make me

Mark 9:01 PM: Oh my god his dad walked in

Kat 9:01 PM: Oh shit

Mark looked up from his phone at Ethan’s dad, watching his gaze. He didn’t show much interest in Mark, only staring as if Mark had done some wrong to his whole family. Mark shrugged and smiled at him, showing him he wasn’t at all afraid of him. Ethan’s dad all but blinked in surprise, his frown soften before he stood a little straighter. Mark stuck his tongue out and crossed his eyes before focusing back on him. Ethan’s dad was smiling now, trying to hold back a small laugh.

“Annie says dinner is almost ready” He glanced at Ethan and smiled “Does he even sleep at night?” He mumbled.

Mark laughed a little, trying not to disturb Ethan “Well, he’s usually up doing something… One time, when he very first could see- I saw him vacuuming and asked what he was doing when he could go out and see the world and the outdoors. He literally told me “Why would I do that when I can finally see the hair on the floor?” Like- can you believe this kid?” Mark mumbled.

Ethan’s dad lightly chuckled and smiled a little “Yeah, I probably could” He mumbled “Well, come down in a few”

“Alright,” mark waved off, slipping his hand slightly under Ethan’s shirt, keeping it near Ethan’s waist, his thumb rubbing the soft skin.

“And Mark” Mark looked up in surprise a little as Ethan’s dad all but smiled at him “Thank you” He whispered before disappearing out of the doorway. 

Mark hummed, smiling lightly to himself. He grinned a little more, his hand coming back up to rest on Ethan’s waist, holding him tightly.

Mark 9:07 PM: That wasn’t weird

Kat 9:08 PM: Does he know you were making out?

Mark 9:08 PM: How’d you know we were making out?

Kat 9:08 PM: I do now

Mark 9:09 PM: Oh jeez

Kat 9:09 PM: So what happened? ??

Mark 9:10 PM: Came in. Stared me down. We kind of make awkward but yet casual eye contact. I made a funny face. He smiled. He told us dinner would be ready soon. Asked if Ethan ever even slept. We talked about dorky he is. Then he left… and then he came back and thanked me

Kat 9:11 PM: Thanked you?

Mark 9:11 PM: Yeah

Kat 9:12 PM: For what?

Mark 9:12 PM: I have no idea...

Kat 9:13 PM: Well...

Mark 9:13 PM: I’m just gonna ignore it for now and maybe ask him what it meant later

Kat 9:14 PM: I’m curious, do tell when you find out :U

Mark 9:14 PM: Can do

Mark put his phone down on the bed and let his arms rest comfortably on Ethan’s waist, holding him. They slept in the same bed every night, sure, but Ethan was always either curled up and Mark couldn’t hold him comfortably or Ethan was spread out everywhere on the bed, moving and thrashing to the point Mark just gave up and slept on the ground or couch. It was rare Ethan would just sit still or comfortably. Especially when he had energy drinks, Mark gave up on trying to cuddle the second he saw any type of energy drink remotely near Ethan.

It was a nice kind of rare though. The one that made you appreciate what you had. To show you how amazing something could be, without taking advantage or neglecting that. Having the perfect boyfriend and neglecting him? Mark could never image. He at least hoped he wasn’t neglecting Ethan. He frowned a little before thinking it was time to get up.

“Alright, bud” Mark mumbled, not wanting to get up in the slightest, but sitting up anyways. He contemplated his want over morals, knowing if Ethan didn’t eat now he’d have an empty stomach in the morning, not to mention he wouldn’t be hungry and stop eating as much and Mark hated that Ethan was so used to it as if it were normal.

“Ethan” Mark mumbled, shaking him slightly. Ethan whined and moved his head to kiss Mark’s cheek. Mark chuckled slightly, rubbing his back “Come on, you want food or not?” Ethan sighed, moving to kiss the corner of Mark’s mouth, smiling slightly “You can’t win me over with kisses, Ethan, this isn’t debatable”

Ethan groaned and sat up on his elbows, staring down at Mark “Are you sure?” He smirked a little, lightly kissing Mark.

Mark sighed a little, kissing him back anyway. He enjoyed it for a second before Ethan laid back down, more comfortably and remember why he woke Ethan up. Mark lowered his head to break away from the kiss and smiled “Yes I’m sure, now get up so you can go eat”

Ethan sighed and whined a little, laying his head down “But I wanna stay here..” He mumbled.

“You have no idea how much I agree with you right now, but really, you need to eat” Mark chuckled, kissing his head.

“Just a few more kisses?” He whispered.

“..Alright” Mark whispered sweetly.

Ethan smiled and sat up to look at him again, holding onto his shoulder as he lightly kissed Mark. Mark chuckled against his lips, making it his point to only kiss Ethan softly and sweetly. Ethan pulled away after a second to kiss Mark’s nose. Mark smiled and looked up at him with a confused face before Ethan shrugged and kissed him again.

Mark smiled, his hands moving down to Ethan’s waist, fingers pushing into back pockets as Ethan ignored him. Ethan focused more on his hands, moving and tangling through Mark’s already messed up hair. 

“It’s been nearly twenty minutes, Dinner’s- whoa” Ethan’s dad stopped in the doorway, looking down at the ground.

Ethan pulled apart and sat up on his knees, sitting on Mark’s stomach as his face turned red. He watched his dad stand, staring at the ground as he bit his lip. Ethan groaned a little, feeling his face radiate heat. He sighed and laid back on Mark’s chest, covering his face. Mark laughed.


	8. Chapter 8

Ethan sat awkwardly as he ate, watching Mark and his father stare each other down, smiling every so often at his mother. She always smiled bad reluctantly and awkwardly. Mark ate awkwardly too, smiling at Ethan. Ethan didn’t like their round table. It just made it more awkward because everyone could stare at each other. Instead of eating the rest of his plate he picked at the edge of the table, the same edge he would always pick at until it came loose and picked at it more. He glanced at his dad and Mark every now and then.

“One time, when I let Ethan did the laundry-” Ethan dropped his fork and stared at his father furiously.

“If you say what I think you’re about to, I’ll never forgive you” He whispered in the silence of the table.

His dad stared for a few seconds before looking back at Mark “He used sugar instead of soap”

Ethan groaned and leaned back in his chair as Mark stifled a laugh “Don’t laugh at me! I was blind!” He whined.

“Why did you want to do laundry?” Mark laughed a little.

“I wanted to be like normal kids?” Ethan laughed, making Mark stop “Yeah... But let’s just say mom wasn’t happy with me” He mumbled.

“It was so sticky and all of our clothes smelled like cotton candy for the next few weeks” She mumbled.

“Salt when in an unmarked jar, looks remarkably like sugar. It is not as good when you try and bake a cake with a cup of it” Mark smiled.

Ethan chuckled and snorted at his own thought “My brother once tripped over the dishwasher door, fell on it and broke it” Ethan grinned, pushing his food around. Mark and his dad both shared a chuckle.

“I wasn’t happy” Annie whispered.

“Is it bad that Tyler’s done that too?” Mark laughed.

“Oh my god” Ethan choked on his food slightly before coughing out a laugh “One time, Mom went to grab one of our really old pans and when she grabbed it the handle snapped right off” Ethan smirked at his mom “Dad says she stood there for a good five minutes just staring at the handle in her hands”

Annie rolled her eyes and smiled.

“It’s okay, one time I went to take Chica on a walk, leash in hand and everything and it took me ten minutes down the road only to realize I forgot the dog at home” Mark mumbled.

Ethan snorted, covering his mouth “Don’t make me spit out my water” he mumbled, wiping his face off.

“You just laugh a lot” Mark smiled at him, Ethan smiling sweetly back.

“So Mark,” Ethan’s dad started, leaning his elbows on the table.

“Oh no,” Ethan whispered, pushing his chair back “No, I’m good” He muttered, standing up and walking out of the room “Bye!”

Mark watched Ethan leave before looking back at his dad’s cold glare. He glanced at his empty plate and back up at his dad, a little more nervous this time. He looked at the doorway Ethan left through, wishing he’d come back. He was like this crutch that just... Made him feel better. He wished Ethan could lay on his chest and be sleeping again as they talked. He felt untouchable in those moments. No one could take Ethan from him. No one could make him anxious because he couldn’t care. Ethan was happy, he couldn’t find time to care. But now Ethan’s dad was staring at him and making him feel like the smallest person in the world.

“Yes, sir?” He stated clearly. He tried anyway, knowing his voice was probably shaking.

He smiled a little “No need to be so formal, I’m Ethan’s dad, not the president” He joked. Mark smiled a little and chuckled “I’m just curious as to why you picked my son”

“Because he’s an idiot!” Ethan shouted from the other room.

Mark laughed and looked at Ethan’s dad nervously before pausing “Why the hell did you say yes then?!” He shouted back.

Ethan was quiet for a few seconds “Because I’m an even bigger idiot” He screamed back in a snarky tone.

Mark sighed and looked at Annie’s amused face before Ethan’s dad got his attention again by clearing his throat “Are you two always like this?” He smiled.

Mark smiled and sighed “Sadly” He joked “I’m kidding, but yeah. We’re always cracking jokes and screaming like idiots or... just being stupid in general” He shrugged.

“So, you’re friends and boyfriends?”

“Definitely!” Mark smiled.

“..And why do you love him?” He mumbled, staring Mark down.

Mark blinked and felt his heart speed up. He smiled lightly and shrugged “Well... I just. I love him. Ever since I first saw him, I saw this little kid. Who was filled with joy and happiness. I mean, granted the first time we met he was a crying mess because he was lost alone, but... He looked so helpless and I knew it’d be wrong to just leave him. So I helped him up, let him hold onto me and I.. enjoyed the feeling- and I took him home, and I just...fell in love too quickly” He whispered “But that doesn’t mean it was bad. It just made me want him more, but I knew it was too soon, but I feel so hard. And- ..I want him to be happy- I’d.. practically do anything for him. When I hug him or he gives me the smallest kiss, I mean invincible. Nothing can bring me down from that” He stared at the table before looking up to meet Ethan’s dad’s eyes, finally.

He stared at Mark with tears in his eyes. He sighed and stood up, wiping his eyes. Mark bit his lip, afraid he’d messed up already. Mark slowly stood up, looking around awkwardly as he playing with his hands. He stared at the floor instead because wow that pattern is pretty and looking at the floor is better than meeting his boyfriend’s father’s gaze.

“Mark” He whispered, his voice cracking slightly. Mark finally tugged his gaze to meet his eyes. He was crying. Mark felt his stomach tighten slightly. He opened his arms and confused Mark for a second before he nodded and Mark smiled slightly, walking around the table to hug him. Ethan’s dad hugged him tightly “..Be gentle with him” He whispered before laughing.

Mark laughed and pulled away “I will” He smiled.

“What are we doin- ...Why is dad crying?” Ethan mumbled, stopping in the doorway.

Mark glanced at him and smiled “Father-Son’s boyfriend talk?” Mark shrugged.  
Ethan smiled slightly and laughed “You’re so weird..” He mumbled before walking around the table to pick up the dirty dishes, taking them to the kitchen.

“He’s perfect for you” Ethan’s dad smiled at Mark.

Mark laughed and smiled “Thanks for letting me date your son, but... One day... um” He lowered his voice to an extremely quiet whispering “I’m gonna ask him, and I might be too soon but. Do I have permission?”

Ethan’s dad breathed in steadily and rubbed his face “ Hm... I’ll think about it” He whispered back with a smile “Probably, but I’ll think about it”

Mark nodded and grinned at him “Thank you” He laughed, before glancing at Ethan in the kitchen. He smiled and walked around the table into the kitchen, walking lightly as he watched Ethan put the plates down. As soon as he put them down, Mark hugged him from behind, making him jump slightly “Hey” he whispered.

Ethan sighed and smiled slightly “Don’t scare me like that” He mumbled. Ethan ignored him further than that as he ran dishwater, waiting for it to warm up before putting the plug in the bottom “...Can you let go for one second?” Mark hummed and reluctantly let go as Ethan crouched on the ground to open the cabinet under the sink, putting the soap into the water, putting the soap back and standing in front of the sink. He smiled, feeling Mark’s arms again and laughed “You were just waiting, weren’t you?” He whispered.

Mark hummed, kissing his ear “Impatiently and truly” He smiled, watching Ethan mix the soap and water in the sink. Ethan took a plate, sinking it in the water before reaching for the bar rag across the counter to wash off the food.

“What were you and dad talking about?” He whispered and he turned off the water to go back to scrubbing.

Mark stayed quiet as he breathed on Ethan’s shoulder. He shrugged slightly and smiled “He asked about me and you”

“No shit Mark” Ethan laughed, putting the plate in the empty sink and swore at his soaked sleeves. He leaned back a little into Mark’s touch as he rolled up his sleeves to his elbows to continue. Mark smiled and kissed the back of his neck lightly. Ethan’s face heated up in seconds as he clutched the plate “Mark- My parents are in the other room” He whispered through clenched teeth.

Mark laughed a little and laid his cheek on Ethan’s shoulder “I know” He whispered, kissing his cheek “What’s wrong with that?” He smirked, pressing his lips to Ethan’s neck, not pulling away.

Ethan gasped lightly and tensed up before glancing at the doorway. Although Mark’s lips weren’t doing anything, it was still sending tingles down his spine “..What if dad walks in on us again?” he whispered, moving another plate to the sink, going for the next one.

“It’s not like he minds anyways” Mark murmured, squeezing Ethan slightly.

Ethan gasped before giggling “He’s okay with us... Being together?” He smiled, putting the plate in the right sink, taking the last plate to plunge in his dishwater.

“I mean, he seemed happy you’re dating someone like me” Mark shrugged “Guess I’m sweet?”

Ethan smiled, putting the last plate in the sink “Step to the right please” He grinned, him and Mark taking a step so Ethan could rinse off the plates “You are sweet” He continued nonchalantly “I’m glad I met someone like you. By the off chance of me getting bored one day and wanting to go for a walk” He laughed “It was like fate or something” He whispered.

Mark smiled and kissed his cheek. He exhaled calmly, watching Ethan rinse the plates to put in the strainer “We destined for great things” Mark joked “Like making dick jokes at two in the morning”

“It was one time! One time, okay?!” Ethan laughed as he set the plates in the strainer “Left” He mumbled, both of them taking a step over the other side for him to scrub at the forks “And I mean hey, If I was destined to meet a dork like you, I think I’m okay with it” He grinned, turning for the first time in the last five minutes to press a soft kiss on Mark’s jawline.

Mark grinned and kissed his cheek multiple times, kissing his jawline, ears, nose, neck. Ethan giggled when Mark got to his neck, pushing him away with his shoulders “Quick, that tickles” He mumbled.

Mark grinned and rubbed his chin into Ethan’s neck making him squeal “Alright, you asked for it!” He laughed, pulling away from Mark’s reach to flick water at his face.

Mark laughed, putting his arm up “Real mature!” he laughed, dipping his hand in the water before flicking bubbles at him.

Ethan gasped and smiled up at him, bubbles and slight water dripping from his hair “Alright, alright-” He chuckled, another small flick of water being tossed at his face “Alright! You win! Happy?!” He laughed.

Mark grinned and nodded, wiping the water on his jeans “Yes” He smirked, pulling Ethan closer by his waist to lightly kiss him. Ethan smiled, holding his shoulders lightly as he kissed back before pulling away. Mark quickly kissed him again, slowly moving their lips as Ethan gripped his shoulders.

“Why is it I only walk in on you two making out?” Ethan pulled away at the sound of his voice, blushing a bright crimson. He laughed at Ethan and Mark and shook his head, smiling “It’s fine” He smirked a little.

Ethan laughed a little and let go of Mark’s shoulders “Well, It seems there are still dishes to still be done, so I’m just gonna go-” He moved from Mark’s arms, doing no good as Mark hugged him closer, Ethan reaching to the sink “And-” he mumbled, trying to take a step forward, doing no good. He let out a defeated sigh and smiled “Or I can stay here and be awkward.

Ethan’s dad laughed and walked over, ruffling his hair “It’s okay, you’re just kids in love. You should’ve seen me and your mom in high school. We’d-”

“La la la la la!!” Ethan screamed, glaring at his dad “La!” he blushed, feeling the embarrassment drip off his face as Mark laughed behind him “La, Dad, La!” He mumbled, taking his chance to walk out of Mark’s arms and back to the sink.

Mark died down from his laughter fit and sighed happily. He looked at Ethan’s dad and smiled. Ethan’s dad only shrugged and grinned before walking back into the living room “We’re going to bed, don’t stay up too late on your phones and don’t you dare have sex”

“Laaaa!!!” Ethan screeched, his face brightening a deep red.

Mark snorted and smiled at Ethan, patting his back “Calm down, he’s joking” He laughed.

Ethan groaned slightly and ignored him as he went back to washing the forks, dropping them in the second sink. Mark smiled lightly and walked to his side this time “Hey, don’t worry, It’s fine” Mark smiled before reaching a hand up to wipe the bubbles and water out of his hair.

Ethan looked up slightly, glancing at Mark. Mark couldn’t help but notice how innocent he looked with his wide eyes and a small smile. Mark smiled anyways, tucking hair behind his ear before lightly kissing him. Ethan smiled, ruining it as he laughed “I love you..” He mumbled, turning back to the dishes.

Mark smiled and leaned up, hugging him from behind again “..I love you too” He whispered, planting small kisses on his neck.

Ethan blushed and squirmed a little under his kisses “Mark-” He laughed. He raised his shoulders to try and stop him as he put a glass in the sink. Mark smiled, kissing the side of his neck softly as Ethan giggled “Mark!” He laughed “Don’t make me drop a glass” He mumbled. Mark paused and kissed his cheek before laying on his shoulder “...Thank you”

Mark grinned and whined a little. Ethan glanced at him before continuing. Mark hummed this time, making Ethan stare a little longer before slowly going back, glancing at Mark one last time. Mark pouted slightly. Ethan put the glass down and looked at him “Well?” He mumbled with a slight smile.

Mark grinned and laughed “When are you gonna be done?”

“When I am” Ethan laughed, rinsing the cups “Then we can go to bed... Or stay up and watch TV in the living room, or do what I used to when I was a kid and lay on the kitchen floor or living room floor” He smiled.

“..You just... Laid?” Mark mumbled.

“I mean, It’s not like I could do anything” He mumbled “So I imagined what someone would look like, and would up stories or something. Or I’d listen to soft music, thinking what the instruments would look like until I fell asleep. It was actually fun! I used to think instruments were all sorts of colors until my brother told me about a piano being black and white, and I instantly loved it just because of the color... Alright, that, and because I liked the way it sounded” Ethan laughed “I even learned how to play in high school” He grinned “Can’t say it was that good, but I knew what sounded good- Oh, I’m rambling. Sorry” He mumbled.

“No, I like it when you ramble” Mark smiled “It gives me the chance to learn more about you without asking you” He mumbled.

Ethan smiled and let the water drain as he dried his hands “All done!” He grinned, putting the rag down “You wanna watch some TV? We could watch the big bang theory and see what the characters look like now!” He gasped, grinning.

Mark laughed “Sure” He let go and smiled as Ethan practically ran to the TV, searching for the show on Netflix. Mark sighed and watched him sit on the floor, scrolling “Ethan, You gonna sit on the couch?”

“Sh, I’m searching” He mumbled. Mark sighed and smiled slightly as he crouched next to Ethan to pick him up, dragging him to the couch to sit him down “Found it!” He smiled

Mark laughed and sat next to him, putting an arm around him “Ready to see how weird Sheldon looks?”

“I bet he doesn't look that weird- Oh.. Whoa” He mumbled, looking at the screen “Wait, that’s weird- Who’s who... What the fuck” He whispered. He leaned back anyways into Mark and leaned on his shoulder, smiling at the TV.

He didn’t last long. After nearly twenty minutes he was practically asleep on Mark’s shoulder, he didn’t reply when Mark asked if he was awake. Mark sighed and turned off the TV after that, picking Ethan up after, slowly heading for the stairs. Ethan mumbled something Mark couldn’t hear before he fell asleep then and there. Mark sighed again, probably for the hundredth time this night and made it into Ethan’s bedroom without waking him up. He got Ethan into the bed with little hassle as he laid down with him, pulling Ethan on top of him. Ethan just barely woke up to move before falling asleep almost immediately after.

Mark grinned, holding him by the waist to keep him close. He pressed a soft kiss to Ethan’s neck. He had a good feeling about this visit.  
_________

Ethan turned over in his sleep, sometime in the night. He stared at the wall in confusion before turning his head. He winced at the pain before flinching at the hands tightening around him. He quickly turned his head, cracking his neck once, making him gasp in pain before looking down at Mark, happily sleeping.

Ethan’s breath caught in his throat lightly as he laid his head down to stare at Mark. He looked so tired, but happy. Ethan moved his hand to lightly hold Mark’s cheek before smiling, lightly kissing his nose. He held back a giggle when Mark barely smiled in his sleep.

Ethan grinned and crawled off of Mark to lean into his chest, turning around to hug his pillow. He smelled it, loving the smell of Mark on his bed sheets. It was so natural and.. Loveable. Ethan stared at the wall, thinking. He turned around to look at Mark again, tears slightly in his eyes. He stayed quiet as he cupper Mark’s face, biting his lip.

He finally realized what love was as he rubbed his fingers across Mark’s smile. It was waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting over and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around to see them in their most peaceful, innocent and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world lays on anyone’s shoulders but their own. You smile, kiss their face in the most gentle manner not to wake them.

Ethan sees Mark’s eyes flicker open as he looked at Ethan with curious eyes before sitting up on his side, pulling Ethan closer. Ethan smiled, hugging Mark close. Their relationship was so raw and real. Unchangeable and unforgettable. Love is when you wake up in the middle of the night and feel a familiar arm snake around your waist, pulling you closer. 

And you just know.

It doesn't get any better than this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading if you've come this far !! im so happy you enjoyed


End file.
